On changing one's name

[dfmacliam]

Women have changed their names for marriages and divorces... with no issues with credit or work histories.. do not let unneccessary fears hold you back, from what you believe is an honorable intention.

[thescot]

I guess I am the lone dissenter.

I would advise against it. I don't think it's a good idea unless you want to disappear, like the aforementioned Legionaires.

You may "divorce" your father, but you will still be who you are and his heir. A name change will not change any of that, and I will not go into other reasons. I would just advise against it.

[Detroitpete]

I'm one of those with a hyphenated name--with 2 middle names! My legal name reads like a law firm;)

My simple opinion is: You've put a lot of thought into this. Yes, there may be some social issues with expalining this, but it seems that your reasons make good sense for you. We Americans continue that independent streak that is our ethos and since it is, in the end, YOUR name--and if you are willing to deal with the paper work and possible conseguences, so be it.

[Ancienne Alliance]

Ronald is a lovely name. So is Macdonald.

Aye, I agree.

Very moving story, Ron.


best,

Robert

[jordanjm]

I would say to think about the fact that there is a whole history and heritage associated with your current surname. Which because of the distance between you and your father's family could be lost. My father was not especially close to his dad's family, and his dad died young. I have done a lot of work to rediscover that heritage. Just a thought. If after considering the facts you feel it is best for you, then go for it. I also would say that you can reinvent what your current surname means to you, and share that heritage.

[Lachlan09]

I wouldn’t change my name for anything. When I was young, being brought up near Edinburgh, my name was so unusual for that Southern area, I felt like an implanted Zulu rather than a fellow Scot. Accordingly, I did go through a period hating my name and embarrassed by it. Every bit of my name was odd, compared to the names of my local peers like Bob Shields, Tam Adams, Bobby Malcolm, Derek Lister, Charlie Parley, John Jeffrey, Gordon Millar, Stuart Hall etc. My name:- Lachlan Niall Gow, even the middle name was spelt oddly – Niall instead of Neil (the arguments I had about Lachlan Niall being Highland, not Irish as everyone told me !! I have no family connections with Ireland whatsoever). But in adulthood, I started to honour my own name and really get into it. The only time I took a rain-check on it was at discos/night clubs when trying to chat up girls. Lachlan was too difficult to say on a noisy dance-floor so I used a nom-de-guerre or two – Peter or Neil being the usual.

Individuality is what I like most. Not too many people are called Lachlan Gow, even less as Lachlan Niall Gow. I can go on google and enter Lachlan Gow and see many entries for me but only see one other person of that name – a teenager living in Glasgow. With Lachlan Niall Gow, I see only references to my postings etc. While that is hardly important in the scheme of things, it does show I’m different, which I prize.

[Smayniac]

I had a female friend some years ago who changed her name for similar reasons, no marriage involved. She sent a brief note to many of her acquaintances. It explained the change and her reason, much as you did in your first post here. I haven't really thought much about it since. The change seemed smooth in her case and largely unremarked upon.

Bob

[auld argonian]

One of the members of my mom's family had his surname legally changed from that of his father to that of his mother back in the early Twentieth Century. This was fortunate for me because he was the one who became obsessed with his family history and spent a great deal of his time researching and contacting family members all over the world...and that's how I know as much as I do about my Scottish and French antecedents.

So it can be a good thing...

Best

AA

[lethearen]

... you will still be who you are and his heir. A name change will not change any of that ...

When a boy is adopted, he usually takes the name of his new family. It doesn't change who he is or who his father was, but it helps him become part of that family more readily. You may not have been 'adopted' per se, but your mother and her family raised you; I see no reason why you should have any reservations about it, if you want to change. Changing your name may not change who you are... but your name doesn't make you who you are, at least not these days.

I had a similar circumstance. My parents got divorced when I was young. My father was never really there before the separation, and that didn't really change until my late teens... by then it was too little too late. In my eye, there is very little about him that deserves my respect. To me, he illustrates what my life has become in spite of my lineage instead of because of my lineage.

I had decided back then that as soon as I turned 18 I was going to change my name - both first and last, as I was named after him in both regards. Like you, my mother had raised me, and that side of the family in general was one that I felt more desire to respect. I was going to drop my first name and go by my middle (named after my mother's uncle) and take my mother's maiden name. I never did... but it's something I still toy with in the back of my head. For me, at this point, it's just not worth the effort.

These days, I go by a ficticious "given" name I picked up in high school - perhaps I should call it a "taken" name . There are people I work closely with who don't know what my legal first name actually is. I keep my father's surname, not in homage, but again, because it's not worth it to me to change it. I don't feel passionately enough about it any more to actually bother with it.

But if you do feel that passionately... then by all means, honour your mother's family, and honour yourself. Just remember the heck you're going to cause your great great grandchildren when they decide to build a family tree

[Deil the Yin]

Tobus,

I can definitely appreciate your motives for changing your surname, and would say that if the legal side (especially your engineering license in 7 states) isn't overly daunting, by all means go forward, man! Furtherto, I can feel your pain in not having done so at age 18 (see "engineering license in 7 states"). Ever has timing been my "Achilles Heel" (I can see it, I just can't do it)... Having said that, it seems that you are not too late in making the most of this honourable gesture.

Best of Luck!

Aye,
Wesley