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[Lallans]

I loath and despise PC, but in this sort of case one must use the tools that come to hand. The principal has left his flank exposed by using the term "loincloth"- a racially charged, and quite possibly outright racist, expression if ever there was one. Start with that to get media attention.

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

Ya know, all of the advice you've been given about "go to the media, etc." has been offered by people who have nothing to loose if this turns out bad for you or your school. They won't have their prom canceled, they won't be turned away at the door, they will face no retribution for confronting your principal, they will not be branded as a trouble maker. In other words, if you follow their rabble rousing advice and things go south, you are the one who will take it in the neck, not them.

From what you've posted it looks as if you went through channels and had your request turned down. The basis for that refusal is as unknown to me as it is to everyone else who has offered their advice. For all any of us know yours may not have been the only request to wear "festive ethnic garb" and the school's decision is based solely on a desire to prevent the prom from being turned into a costume party. Not that it matters what was the basis of the decision. The die has been cast, your number didn't come up, and it's time to accept that the mature course of action is to acknowledge the fact that you won't go kilted to the prom, and get on with your life.

[denmcdough]

Definitely a slippery slope, here. What you need to do, specifically, is ask to see the school dress code. Is there anything specifically about a kilt in it? Or, is the code being interpreted by the principal's bias?

If there is no mention about the kilt and you were not aware, they DO NOT have a case! I see no reason why you should not be permitted to wear your kilt. Some words a school administrator does not want to hear: "you'll be hearing from my lawyer in the morning!"

In reality, if you want to persue this, you have a legal right to get a lawyer and take this to the next step. Or, talk to the school board. Better yet, see if many students will support your decision to wear a kilt.

[denmcdough]

Sorry, I do not agree with MoR's assessment! As a person who works with many school districts (sometimes with legal matters), I know how the game is played. No reason for you to suck it up and give in. If you feel like going further, you have the right, as an American citizen, to do so! PERIOD!!!!

[Zardoz]

This issue just re-affirms my usual approach to this sort of thing;
"It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission"

[Lallans]

Per MoR, who has a pretty good point, I might better have qualified what I said with "IF you go to the media," etc- and to which I would also add, "If you go to the media, go to Fox News if you have a local station." And talk to your parents first, that should be a given.

[davidlpope]

Ya know, all of the advice you've been given about "go to the media, etc." has been offered by people who have nothing to loose if this turns out bad for you or your school. They won't have their prom canceled, they won't be turned away at the door, they will face no retribution for confronting your principal, they will not be branded as a trouble maker. In other words, if you follow their rabble rousing advice and things go south, you are the one who will take it in the neck, not them.

From what you've posted it looks as if you went through channels and had your request turned down. The basis for that refusal is as unknown to me as it is to everyone else who has offered their advice. For all any of us know yours may not have been the only request to wear "festive ethnic garb" and the school's decision is based solely on a desire to prevent the prom from being turned into a costume party. Not that it matters what was the basis of the decision. The die has been cast, your number didn't come up, and it's time to accept that the mature course of action is to acknowledge the fact that you won't go kilted to the prom, and get on with your life.

I heartily endorse Scott's opinion, above. There will come a time when you are no longer in high school when you care wear anything you want to social events, including a kilt. Unfortunately, you're not there yet. Even then, there will be certain occasions or organizations where you don't get to call the shots and will have to abide by others' rules or not participate. So, it's a good lesson for future life.

Rent your tuxedo, even get a tartan vest to go with it if you like, but concentrate on spending time with your friends that night and enjoying the prom, instead of being focused on not wearing a kilt.

Cordially,

David

[DamnthePants]

Forgive me, as I don’t think anyone else will agree with me, but hey, its always good to see as many sided of the dice as possible before you roll it.

You really should think about the ROE of your action. ROE stands for Return of Energy. In short, the idea is that you should always do actions that maximize your return of energy. When we apply it to this situation; Sure, you could petition the PTA, have the students sign something saying its ok, you could inform the media and they could have a field day with it; maybe even get your face in the local paper, claim he is being racist because he used the word loincloth ( which, on a personal note, I don’t think he is, because what else do you call a cloth that goes over the loins? A Knee length Frontal crotch garment?)) But in the end, is any of that worth it?(*There is no right answer here, its depends on if it is, or if it isn’t; for me its not)

What is Prom but 1 night celebrating 4 years of a school that your going to most likely end up forgetting about anyway? For me, High school was not that important. Sure, it was fun, but a year into college; I realized just how insignificant any of the events there had on my life.

Ask your self, is this really that important? Figure out the answer. Then Ask your self the question once more. Then when you are absolutely positive that you know the answer, ask your self the question one more time.

[longhuntr74]

I'm in the military...I live in a world of silly "rules". Yes it's a violation of your civil liberties to deny you your request. Yes, you could probably get a sensational news story out of it and potentially a lawsuit. But again, what are the reprecussions of doing so?

Much of the advice here reminds me of what we call "barracks lawyers" in the military...Soldiers that always want to give bad advice and support another's "cause" by quoting inane regulations that are superseded by other regulations or a Commander's outright authority. Most of the time these barracks lawyers lack respect for authority and are just trying to do anything they can to thumb their nose to the establishment.

I realize that being a military commander and a school principal are not direct corollaries, as a military commander has more authority over his organization and different authorities to authorize or prohibit many things that may not be regulated in the civilian world.

Why do I tell you all this? It's because I believe that part of being a responsible and mature adult is to pick and choose one's battles and principles. You have to decide what things you are willing to overlook and just comply with and which things you are willing to fall on your sword over "damn the consequences." If I recall correctly, you have previously said that you intend to have a good time at the prom, regardless of what you're wearing. If this is the case, complying with the Principal's decision and wearing a tux is probably your best option. If you feel that your principal and the establishment regularly violate students rights and want to choose this issue to make a stand...that's your call...but I'd be ready to demonstrate a strong Scottish lineage and a family tradition of wearing the kilt before trying to claim is as a violation of your ethnic heritage, etc. If you're like me with your closest Scottish relative being in the early 1800s, you'd have a hard time claiming that you are being discriminated against based on your ethnicity.

Just my $.02.

[auld argonian]

Sorry, I do not agree with MoR's assessment! As a person who works with many school districts (sometimes with legal matters), I know how the game is played. No reason for you to suck it up and give in. If you feel like going further, you have the right, as an American citizen, to do so! PERIOD!!!!

So you are aware of the fact that school districts have their own lawyers either on staff or on retainer and that they will be most happy to counter any threats of legal action that someone may make? Here in Chicago they have a whole legal department and they need it. Do you think that these school districts just fell off the turnip truck and have never dealt with situations like this before?

Ever heard the phrase, "more trouble than it's worth"? Seems to me that when a lot of cases where these "right to wear the kilt" cases are settled it's not because the "administration" decided that the complainer was right but rather because the "administration" decided that it was more trouble than it was worth to have to listen to the injured party complain and threaten to take it to the highest court in the land. So when you win, have you scored a victory or have you just been appeased so you'll shut up and get back to school/work? I mean look at the possibility that they figure that it's bad enough to have a "weirdo" in a kilt around but it's a whole lot worse to have a NOISY weirdo in a kilt around. But...hey! A win is a win, right? Remember the old saw, "you have not converted a man merely because you have silenced him"...and that works both ways in these situations, don't it?

So what I've been trying to point out here is that it is seldom gonna be a zero sum game and it is better to try to come to some kind or reasonable accord before the threatening starts because then it's not a matter of one party being a "bully"; at that point you're both bullies and the real principle gets set aside while you fight it out to see who's the bigger bully.

Whatever IssacM decides...whether he wants to show up kilted anyway and take it to the Supreme Court if need be or if he wants to just chalk this one up to bitter experience...it's his decision cause he's the guy on the ground right now and the only one who has the perspective to make it. Some actions can have serious ramifications that you can't possibly foresee at the time so I have to take exception to that "better to apologize than ask for permission" line of logic...many times all the apologizing in the world can't fix things.

Gee...if I were a strict Freudian, I'd say that I was playing the part of the super-ego right now...but I'm a Jungian, dammit!

Best

AA