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[Lallans]

And on the third hand, kids go all-out all the time for left-wing causes, becoming big local heros in the process, and it would be refreshing to see one actually speaking out for freedom of Scottish heritage. And I don't imagine the negative consequences of doing so would be military in nature- which is not to say they would be worth it, just putting the thought out there. Whatever, and above all, this should be a family decision if it goes forward.

[Alan H]

I guess you just have to figure out how much grief you want to go through, in order to wear a kilt to the prom. Do so, knowing that even if you start a major confrontation with the school district administration, in the end, you still may not be wearing a kilt to the prom.

Is it stupid that the principal is against it? Sure...sure it is. But he said "no" after being presented with respectful, logical arguments. Only you can decide if escalating the issue is worth the hassle.

[Bludongle]

After reading through all of these replies I have only one thing to add.

If you are looking to work in civil rights or law this is a perfect project to pad your resume with and put on a college application.

If, however, you are going into something like medicine or the auto mechanics industry then I would have my lovely tux slacks made from some random yet tasteful plaid and enjoy your prom.

Congrats on the making it through 4 years, BTW. It is an accomplishment.

[Zardoz]

If you were my son, I would chaparone the prom with a camera. If I saw anyone wearing anything ethnic, I would take lots of pictures. I would get his response to your request in writing, take the photos from prom, and then I would personally go to the media, and press discrimination charges, because that's exactly what it would be. We all know perfectly well that anyone of African or Latin American heritage would be allowed to wear their ethnic clothing, and don't pretend for a minute that they would ask. They know perfectly well that we shouldn't have to! They've been fighting for and winning their right to keep their culture for 100 years or more, as have Native Americans. And that's how it should be! Those of us of European ancestry, for some reason, feel we need to ask, and we set ourselves up for the same discrimination that other ethnic groups are finally starting to break down. Get your answer in writing and take lots of pics of the FUBU gear...

Nighthawk is on the money here. That pricipal does not "respect the kilt" comparing it to a 'loin cloth' shows he just thinks it's a weird costume. To say it plainly, If black students asked permission, or just showed up to prom in a Dashiki or Kaftan the powers that be would be scared to death to refuse them entry! They would have the news and your local black "community activists" camped out at the school.
I would go to the media. Proms seem to be quite the social battleground lately, and any media outlet you approach would love to cover you.

[lethearen]

*** for MoR's camp.

My main thought here is college. I don't know if you intend to go or not; but if you are planning to attend a higher institution, you may need your principal's recommendation or that of someone else who may be reluctant after you chase this to the press. Wearing the kilt for one evening isn't worth jeapordizing that. Especially since by now it would just be to make a point, and the heritage aspect has begun to take a backseat to that point.

It sounds like you've handled everything very maturely. Respect the principal's ruling, especially if he treated you respectfully during your meeting.

There's more to your heritage that just wearing the kilt. It is just a piece of clothing, after all ;)

Who is the more foolish: the fool, or the man who argues with him?

[denmcdough]

There's always two sides to a conflict. Many Xmemebers have voiced their opinions, and what side they'd take. Who will win? I hope our young lad will!! Maybe a compromise is the answer, whatever that might be....never a guarantee.

However, I feel that too many folks, here, are saying to give in! No way! If you truly think this is a battle worth the fight, then go for it! Too many people are willing to "give in" and not follow through. Yes, you might not win, and there might be repercussions, but did you follow your heart? It's one thing to follow through, just for being a trouble maker, but it's another thing when principle is involved! The founding fathers of the US, did they give in? Did Martin Luther give in? Did Joan of Arc give in? History is full of people who had a cause and followed through. Guess that's why they made history.

This kilted prom thing might not seem like such a big deal in the realm of things, but it's these little things that truly make life what it is, and worth fighting for.

As for the comments about the Chicago schools and their lawyers, well, I can not say how they operate, as I'm not in that state. But, in my state, which is in US Judicial District # 3, it might be a different story if it ever got that far.

As a product of the 60's, I'm the rebel with a cause. Had not my generation stood up to the US Government with all our protests, we'd probably still be in Vietnam!

Ok, just my .02 cents worth! Whatever happens, do what your heart tells you. Good luck at the prom.

[Strider]

I don't think the real question is ethnic background. I think the question is more what your rights are. If the dress code says that you cannot wear kilts to school or school activity's then subject over. However IFF (IF and only if) it does not say that you cannot wear a kilt then there shouldn't even be a reason for him to be saying anything against it.

Longhuntr74 I'm not going to say I'm not a rebel against authority. Because I am most of the time. However most of the authority I have seen with schools aren't the smartest people when it comes to stuff like this. Especially when they feel threatened.

[davidlpope]

Why do I tell you all this? It's because I believe that part of being a responsible and mature adult is to pick and choose one's battles and principles. You have to decide what things you are willing to overlook and just comply with and which things you are willing to fall on your sword over "damn the consequences." If I recall correctly, you have previously said that you intend to have a good time at the prom, regardless of what you're wearing. If this is the case, complying with the Principal's decision and wearing a tux is probably your best option. If you feel that your principal and the establishment regularly violate students rights and want to choose this issue to make a stand...that's your call...but I'd be ready to demonstrate a strong Scottish lineage and a family tradition of wearing the kilt before trying to claim is as a violation of your ethnic heritage, etc. If you're like me with your closest Scottish relative being in the early 1800s, you'd have a hard time claiming that you are being discriminated against based on your ethnicity.

Great advice and eloquently said.

Also, good call on the "Sea Lawyer" comparison. Very apt.

Cordially,

David

[wildrover]

It was, I believe, H. L. Mencken who said, "There is no point in arguing with a person whose paycheck depends on not being convinced."

I would suggest that a parent might sit down with the guy and calmly explain the situation (if one of your parents is an attorney, that'd be swell) and if the principal continues to use the "slippery slope" argument, the parent should just tell him to cut the excuses and explain what his real reason is. They might be able to come to an agreement but don't count on it.

I think that is excellent advice. It does sound like he's hiding something personal, whether bias or fear, behind official posturing. He may have an excellent, but non-PC or dubiously 'official' reason for saying no, and that reason may provide closure to the issue that officialdom cannot.

this kind of silliness over a kilt when there are meatier issues like us gays just wanting go to prom together?

I think you make an excellent point there...I wonder if the guy would be more offended by a gay couple in tuxes, or a straight couple with a guy in a kilt and a girl in a gown (with a tartan sash to match your kilt, btw! Gotta mark your territory ).

Weeeelll...the other side of things here is with guys like this, pressing the issue often has the opposite effect. Rather than pusuaded, they are angered and defensive next about your confronting the issue further. They are not only mired in their ignorance, but afraid.

Agreed. Also...it may be genuine fear of falling down a slippery slope himself, or drug bodily down it, by other special interests. If he would personally not be unhappy with your kilt, and would personally be ok with it, but feels tied by other responsibilities, you may be able to make him an ally rather than an opponent by offering to secure the approval of the people he may be afraid of. I do mean offer, not threaten.

Hard to say what the right thing would be to do at this point... It's very individual. However I WILL say that this time of year the news affiliates froth at the mouth for "prom stories." From CNN on down to the local TV station, around prom time they love to cover stories about teens who have been banned from wearing this, that or the other from their prom.

Yes they do. Also, while several people have mentioned that we have nothing to lose by encouraging you to loose the hounds, I would like to point out that this is high school, and high school matters little. Do you otherwise have a good relationship with this guy, or is he just a random administrator whose permission you needed to secure to do this? If the former, ally and don't make waves...you might find yourself asking for his recommendation in the future, and you'll be better off if his impression of you is of a professional young man willing to test the boundaries, rather than just another 21st-century media whore. If the latter, who cares? Make waves, it's only high school. Ten years from now, people will barely remember anyway, and it's not like it's part of a permanent record tattooed across your butt.

What about asking students to sign a petition saying that they'd like to see you in a kilt at prom? Take that to the school board along with your letter to the principle and a transcript of his 'reasoning'.

This is a good example of how to ensure that you have the principle's support, if he is willing to be an unofficial ally. Nighthawk's suggestion (and others) are good if your relationship with the principle and school administration is merely coincidental and you are just another punk kid.

Do you have your teachers' support? Parents? Parents of other students?

For all any of us know yours may not have been the only request to wear "festive ethnic garb"

True.

and the school's decision is based solely on a desire to prevent the prom from being turned into a costume party.

A costume party, as opposed to what? You seen prom kit these days? Prom is a costume party. As much as the Scots here hate hearing the C-word, when you dress up for the opera, the symphony, the grand poobah white tie ball, the ballet, etc...unless you are James Bond and wear a tuxedo to work, you are in costume. But that is irrelevant.

Ally with the principle somehow, or get some tartan accessories with a really top-shelf tux. How's this for a recommendation...get a tux, and get your cuff links, studs, and so forth in Burberry Check. No girl is ignorant of the look of Burberry Check, and there's a good chance you'll be more involved in preventing your date from making off with a trophy cummerbund, than you will in securing trophy panties . Also, all that kit will probably cost as much as a nice tank, so even your wallet won't feel left out .

-Sean

[Nighthawk]

There's always two sides to a conflict. Many Xmemebers have voiced their opinions, and what side they'd take. Who will win? I hope our young lad will!! Maybe a compromise is the answer, whatever that might be....never a guarantee.

However, I feel that too many folks, here, are saying to give in! No way! If you truly think this is a battle worth the fight, then go for it! Too many people are willing to "give in" and not follow through. .

And that, sir, is my whole point. It's not just about that one night- it's about standing up for yourself and your rights! This is exactly why so many abuses of our rights take place- too many people just give in...