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[wildrover]

And that, sir, is my whole point. It's not just about that one night- it's about standing up for yourself and your rights! This is exactly why so many abuses of our rights take place- too many people just give in...

That, and too many people think it is their right to tell others "no" . It is unfortunate that almost all of these people do their deeds in private, because public reaction is nearly always, and overwhelmingly, in support of the aggrieved.

[ForresterModern]

In the end, Isaac, there are a lot of factors involved, and a lot of options, and despite the rhetoric we here on the forum are throwing at you from both the left and the right, none of us but you have a dog in this fight. Only you, working with your parents, can make a decision about how to go forward from here. Many have given their recommendations, and all of them are valid options, but you in your heart and with your parents consent and understanding (parents are older for a reason, and wisdom does come with age) will make the final decision about how important this is for you to pursue.

We all wish you the best of luck, we all wish this had not happened to anyone in your position, let alone such a fine, considerate and mature young man as yourself, we all pray the outcome turns in your favour, and we are all hoping to see some photos of you kilted at prom with the huge beaming smile of pride you deserve to be wearing. But if you are not kilted, post some pictures anyway, as we would love to see them, kilted or not. Have fun.

j

[AFS1970]

...The principal has left his flank exposed by using the term "loincloth"- a racially charged, and quite possibly outright racist, expression if ever there was one. Start with that to get media attention.

The distinction between the two is only good for the media, if they actually understand and/or care about the distinction. Since they would only take a story like this if they could find a sensational angle, they probably are not interested in anything even remotely historical.

...To say it plainly, If black students asked permission, or just showed up to prom in a Dashiki or Kaftan the powers that be would be scared to death to refuse them entry!...

In that case, there would be no need to ask permission and no debate would ensue. Oddly enough by no fault of the black students, the administration would consider their culture sacred and yours nothing more than a funny costume.

...If the dress code says that you cannot wear kilts to school or school activity's then subject over. However IFF (IF and only if) it does not say that you cannot wear a kilt then there shouldn't even be a reason for him to be saying anything against it...

Most dress codes are about the school day, they rarely get into prom wear, mostly because in days past it was considered a given that you simply knew what formal wear meant. Nowhere is this change more evident than on the formal nights of most cruise lines, which now have to specify no shorts or sneakers.

I'm in the military...I live in a world of silly "rules". Yes it's a violation of your civil liberties to deny you your request...
Much of the advice here reminds me of what we call "barracks lawyers" in the military...If I recall correctly, you have previously said that you intend to have a good time at the prom, regardless of what you're wearing...but I'd be ready to demonstrate a strong Scottish lineage and a family tradition of wearing the kilt before trying to claim is as a violation of your ethnic heritage, etc. If you're like me with your closest Scottish relative being in the early 1800s, you'd have a hard time claiming that you are being discriminated against based on your ethnicity...

The main differences I would see between school and the military is that a) you choose to join the military and as such choose to abide but their rules and b) I don't know of any court that views such military rules as civil rights violations, let alone to the scope that they have in civilian life.

Barracks is allot nicer adjective than I have most often heard this kind of "lawyer" (including myself at times) called.

Having fun at the prom is what this is all about.

Even a strong lineage and tradition may not be enough. Most descrimination laws refer to national origin not to historical lineage. You may actually need to be from Scotland in order to say you are being discriminated against for being Scottish. I don't know for sure, but I know from a case of my own that sometimes the legal definition is not what you think it is.

I think you make an excellent point there...I wonder if the guy would be more offended by a gay couple in tuxes, or a straight couple with a guy in a kilt and a girl in a gown (with a tartan sash to match your kilt, btw! Gotta mark your territory).

A costume party, as opposed to what? You seen prom kit these days? Prom is a costume party.

Like with the aformentioned black students, the misplaced sense of guilt on the part of the school board has probably already cause a policy to be in place saying specifically that gay students can not be discriminated against. No matter how offended the principal may personally be, he would never dream of discriminating against some while he is free to discriminate against others at will.

I have to say, the basketball themed tux int he other thread was quite interesting.

...We all wish you the best of luck, we all wish this had not happened to anyone in your position, let alone such a fine, considerate and mature young man as yourself, we all pray the outcome turns in your favour, and we are all hoping to see some photos of you kilted at prom with the huge beaming smile of pride you deserve to be wearing. But if you are not kilted, post some pictures anyway, as we would love to see them, kilted or not. Have fun...

That is probably the best comment on this subject yet.

[NewGuise]

Ask your self, is this really that important? Figure out the answer. Then Ask your self the question once more. Then when you are absolutely positive that you know the answer, ask your self the question one more time.

Ask yourself, yes, repeatedly. But ask others, too. Ultimately, because this is a big event for many, annually, this is not and cannot be just about you. Given that you have been asking us our opinions, here on XMarks, I presume that you have been asking your parents, friends, and perhaps even a teacher or two. Are they supportive? Do they think you should wear a kilt? Do you have any younger friends at the school who might be interested in wearing a kilt (or some other ‘ethnic’ garb) to their prom when the time comes, and who might benefit from your struggle even if you ultimately do not?

I had a tendency when I was younger to bow to authority unless others were involved: had I been in your position in high school, I’d likely just have given up right away; had a friend been in your position, I’d have gone into full battle mode, garnering support on his behalf, going to press, doing whatever it took to let him go to the prom kilted. What I didn’t get, back then, was that by avoiding looking selfish – going to battle for others, not myself – I was often actually being selfish, thinking that my battles were just my own, for and about me. I let others down who were rooting for me, or who desperately wanted the same things but were afraid or unable to fight for themselves.

This might not be a battle that you really want to fight, or that others want you to fight. But ask. We’re behind you, here. If others closer to you want you to fight, do it. If not, look sharp and have a good time in trousers. Wear tartan underwear, and smile.

[morrison]

You did right in your asking through proper channel to be approved. When turned down you still retain a right to appeal the decision.
I think there was a case a couple years ago, discussed here @ XMTS at great length covering a vast array of opinions. Gimme a day er so. I'll see what I can scare up in a thread search. Anyone here can do that also.

[Lallans]

I've been thinking about my school days since this came up yesterday. I was always in conflict with the authority figures in my high school, generally over some issue of principle (no pun intended). Years later, as we were graduating post-secondary, one of my friends with a spotless school history went to our former HS principal looking for a teaching job. The next time we met, my friend told me that the 'old guy' clearly didn't much remember him and that he probably wouldn't get a call (he didn't)- and then my friend gave me a funny look and said "you know, he would have remembered YOU and hired you in a second".

So perhaps there is an advantage to being a PITA. I'm just saying.

[auld argonian]

I've been thinking about my school days since this came up yesterday. I was always in conflict with the authority figures in my high school, generally over some issue of principle (no pun intended). Years later, as we were graduating post-secondary, one of my friends with a spotless school history went to our former HS principal looking for a teaching job. The next time we met, my friend told me that the 'old guy' clearly didn't much remember him and that he probably wouldn't get a call (he didn't)- and then my friend gave me a funny look and said "you know, he would have remembered YOU and hired you in a second".

So perhaps there is an advantage to being a PITA. I'm just saying.

Remember the scene in The Paper Chase where Hart ends up in the elevator with Professor Kingsfield, who Hart was absolutely sure was trying to get him all through the class, and Kingsfield doesn't even recognize him? It's always a matter of opinion as to whether Kingsfield really doesn't recognize Hart or is pulling Hart's chain just one more time but it does make the point that when we are "that age", we are convinced that it's all about us.

Best

AA