Advice

**Old Hippie** · 23rd July 10, 11:35 AM

At one wedding I attended, the best man offered a toast. Literally. A piece of toast.

It was the best and funniest thing he could do under the circumstances, as the cultural, religious and political disparities between the bride's and groom's families verged on the Montagues and Capulets.

The other piece of wedding toast advice is: Remember. It's not about you today. You've already admitted you'd not wear the kilt for any other reason. Plenty of us here do wear the kilt for any reason at all. While we're mostly an open-minded bunch, some fellow taking a cheap shot at a culture, heritage, and manner of dress that we find congenial would engender not a laugh, but a sad shake of the head that he'd not been better raised.

Having been a member of a "posse" that pulled an obnoxious drunk off the dance floor for some forcible sobering-up at a wedding, I can say with all seriousness that there will likely be people there who can express their displeasure quite effectively.

You'll make your own decision, of course. I think you may have gathered that a majority of those here who've responded don't think much of the idea.

Cheers, eh!

:ootd:

**MacLowlife** · 23rd July 10, 11:35 AM

Jonah, there are two kinds of people. Those who can make risky jokes and those who can't. Unfortunately, those who can't include many who think they can. Ask your family. Then, watch FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL. There are two excellent examples of wedding speeches- Hugh Grant's hilarious one and the one by the guy whose name we don't know that is frighteningly bad.

And then you get Andie MacDowell, speaking at her own wedding and referring to her husband as the guy in the skirt. It doesn't work, even for her.

The real trouble with humor is that the most uniform group includes people who take things differently. Some will laugh uproariously while others will become angry. And, when you pitch your jokes at the ones who are going to be offended, the others will find them tame and dull.

If I were you, I'd make jokes about myself

Boy was I relieved when I finally figured out I didn't need to wear heels with the kilt. Because I left my best ones when I ran out of the gent's at the train station.

Why did those sheep look at me like that when I came across the field just now?

I was just talking with Jock and Hamish here. I asked which tartans they were wearing and they said their family's of course, McL and Mac M. I am not sure which one this is, honestly, but the bride's mother explained it is what's called a "Bastard tartan" and Jock said " Oooh, you told me it wasn't your own"

Me, I am part of the second group myself...

**Kornkob** · 23rd July 10, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by Jock Scot

Just an observation gathered over the last six decades------Scots are not good at laughing at themselves at the best of times, but particularly, not when drunk.

I think that most people have buttons they don't like pushed and they like it less when an 'outsider' does it. And they react especially poorly when that button is pushed when they are drunk.

And weddings are special occasions. Every 'best man' toast gone bad I have ever seen has gone off the rails when they start making fun of the bride, her family or the traditions of marriage.

And you say you found a professional comedian who told a joke in the same vein as yours--- have you considered that a) he's a professional comedian in the midst of a polished routine b) he's on stage, at a comedy event and c) he's probably not in Scotland as he tells that joke and his audience is probably mostly English.

and most important:

d) he's not at someone's wedding

**Bob C** · 23rd July 10, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by Jonah

I was thinking something along the lines of "look at us here in these skirts with handbags, its a good job we've got a knife in our socks to make us look masculine"

Everyone else here is too kind or polite to say this. I'm not burdened by those traits: Are you an idiot? Are you TRYING to ruin your friend's wedding? If you insult the heritage of that family (and most of us here), I sincerely hope somebody punches you in the mouth.

Oh, and Welcome to XMarks!

(Give me my punishment, mods. I earned it and will not complain.)

**Vegan Scot** · 23rd July 10, 02:04 PM

I would add to what has already been said about offense taken concerning "demeaning" Scots and Scotland by calling the kilt a skirt and say that if you have anyone in the crowd who is sensitive about gender, gender roles, etc, your "masculine" comment might be just as offensive to them as anything else. Kilts = skirts, skirts = women, men > women. Lots of unfortunate, unconscious assumptions going on there. It's something that touches a nerve in me every time I hear it, even. Perhaps it would be best to practice a lighter touch with the humor?

**artificer** · 23rd July 10, 03:17 PM

Jonah,
lest you think my link to Mike McIntyre was an endorsement of this idea, please let me be clear... it wasn't.

I was saying that unless you're he, or as funny as, I'd pass. If you've got to ask if it's appropriate, you're probably NOT in safe water. Watch out for sharks.

Self-deprecating humour is always good, people like to laugh at others. If you're the best man, a few polite (and again, err on the safe side) pokes at the groom are always in order.

Also, keep in mind, you're not on your home pitch. It's always nice to behave at 'away games'.

**Nighthawk** · 23rd July 10, 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by Bob C.

Everyone else here is too kind or polite to say this. I'm not burdened by those traits: Are you an idiot? Are you TRYING to ruin your friend's wedding? If you insult the heritage of that family (and most of us here), I sincerely hope somebody punches you in the mouth.

Oh, and Welcome to XMarks!

(Give me my punishment, mods. I earned it and will not complain.)

Wait a minute... I went there first! I want my punishment, too!!