Shingles

[Mindrop]

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Bubba:

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em?'

[artificer]

It's only NOT funny because it's a bit too true. Otherwise, it's gold.

[xman]

It's funny because it's true.

[Mindrop]

Yeah. That got sent to my mom in an e-mail. I had to post it. A bit of True Humor you might say.

[Old Hippie]

I'd have to consult my archive, but there's a wonderful little Robert Service poem (he'd say "ditty") in that vein called "Bessie's Boil."

It's the story of a young lady with a boil in a tender spot, who goes to the hospital for an examination and gets a more thorough exam than she'd bargained for.

Being a Service poem, it's SFW but barely: http://www.bidness.com/bessie.htm

:ootd:

[Bill aka Mole]

The boil poem has a two word Naval term: snipe hunt!
For those thrown off by this, a snipe hunt in the Navy is where you send a person from spot to spot on a ship looking for something that can't be found. The sender calls the location that he sent the victim to so that they can be prepared to talk with the victim and then send the victim to the next location and call ahead to there. Example: Leading Petty Officer: We need a bucket of steam, go to the engineroom and get five gallons of steam. Victim: Okay. Leading Petty Officer calls the Engineroom and tells them that the victim is on the way. Victim: I'm looking for a bucket of steam. Engineroom: We can't issue any, you need to go to supply to place it on order. Victim: Thanks. Engineroom then calls Supply. Victim: I need a bucket of steam. Supply: Fill out this form and make sure that you use the proper National Stock Number becasue the last guy didn't and got in trouble as his number was for nuclear steam and not regular steam. You need to go and talk with your depaertment head to get the correct number, we only process paperwork at this office. Victim: Okay. Supply then calls the Department Head and the cycle continues until the victim figures out that a bucket of steam could be condensed into water or he meets nearly everybody on the ship. This is a great way to spend a day on an aircraft carrier. Items that have been used include: 5 yards of waterline (a quart of black paint), keys to the sea chest (no item), sound powered telephone batteries (no item) bucket of prop wash (no item), relative bearing grease (no item).

[macshorty]

LOL!!

@ Bill: Did you ever make somebody go look for the Chem-light batteries?

[Bill aka Mole]

LOL!!

@ Bill: Did you ever make somebody go look for the Chem-light batteries?

I was a shipboard electrician for 22 years.

[Squeaky McMurdo]

Lol, reminds me of the time that my sister-in-law's car was acting up and my husband asked in jest "Have you checked your Blinker Fluid?" and she went to the auto parts store and got 5 grown men who were supposed to be mechanics to search that store high and low. They even tried to order some and the guy on the phone didn't know what they were talking about so I guess he told them that they didn't have it in stock.

--Chelsea McMurdo--

[jgcunningham]

I've worked backstage in theatres for over 20 years now. Yes, those bring back memories of sending out newbies for things like -

A spool of shoreline (For the HMS Pinafore and Mr. Roberts)

The left-handed hammer (when you are a lefty and a right-handed hammer makes you miss because it's weighted wrong.)

The metric Crescent wrench (For those metric nuts and bolts that pop up more often now.)

The table saw silencer (when the saw is too loud during rehearsal)

A skyhook (to lift things, of course)

Dark lightbulbs (when the regular ones are too bright)

Plaid/Striped paint (How else are you going to paint it that way?)

The paint separator (To get back all the pigments you mixed in when you're done with that color. It works kind of like a cream separator.)

The sand dryer (It's used to dry the wet sand in front of the outdoor stage. In a pinch, there's a big yellow one up in the sky that can be used.)