Verses on the North Wind

**xman** · 22nd November 10, 03:27 PM

Attention one, attention all
ye kilties kind and cruel.
I've a thing now to discuss
which might me make a fool*,

But on I'll plod and I'll confess
that wearing out my kilt
In this approaching solstice dark
has in't a challenge built.

It may not be so clear to those
who live in warmer climes,
But 'round the north it can get cold
and worse at winter time.

It is inevitable that
you'll feel the winter breeze
Whistling down around your kilt
and blowing on your knees.

This in and of itself is not
so tragic as the knee
Is not so tender as the thigh
which also seems to be

Remarkably susceptible
when walking at a pace
To getting rather draughty down
and in the rearward place.

Now let me make it clear right now
that other nether regions
Are happily immune to winds
And I don't care the reasons.

Just glad that these my precious parts
are cozy safe and warm
Protected by this worsted wool
from th'worst o' winter's harm

And though my legs might suffer some
from icy chills and blasts
I'm glad to say my derrière
is toasty warm at last

No pants have ever kept my rump
quite so well contented
Those drawers just can't compare to kilts
whatever their intent is.

But what about my thighs again
It's minus ten degrees**!
(With wind chill) That is just enough
to make my ham hocks freeze.

I even thought heretically
that pulling on some tights
Beneath my kilt could keep me warm
and comfortable, it might.

And so I'm wond'ring how you feel
when out among the snow
and in your kilt, are you warm
or colder still? I really wish to know.

I've only ventured forth few times
and cannot really tell
If trading trousers in for kilts
is heavenly or hell

In this regard, this winter worry
this snow and wint'ry weather.
What says the rabble in the north?
Have I traded for the better?

~ X MacDonald

* again
** ºC = 15ºF

**Bill aka Mole** · 22nd November 10, 03:45 PM

Huzzah, Huzzah,
To Xman and his Verse;
I would think of continueing on,
But I'll only get worse!

**Geoff Withnell** · 22nd November 10, 07:17 PM

Mason and Dixon drew a line
Below which the weather is usually fine.
At the link below you will plainly see
How the cold affected me.

http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/f...ng-cold-57083/

The consensus seems to be that with a good heavyweight kilt, wool kilt hose and appropriate tops, kilting is warmer than trousers. The temp in the initial photo was about -10C. I was much warmer in the kilt than I had been wearing trousers while shoveling.

Geoff Withnell

**Riverkilt** · 22nd November 10, 09:48 PM

When the weather is no longer fair -

Its okay,

I've a heater under there.

**auld argonian** · 23rd November 10, 06:17 AM

Oh, excellent! I can only think that Robert Service would admire your work and I hold RS in the highest regard.

Best

AA

**MacMillans son** · 23rd November 10, 07:56 AM

Well aren't you the talented one X. What next, chapel ceiling painting, perhaps a bit of marble sculpture? Geez you creative people make me sick!!

**auld argonian** · 23rd November 10, 08:42 AM

You have inspired me...

Kilts are neat,
Kilts are swell.
Lift a kilt
And go to hell.

...maybe some of you recognize the original rhyme scheme from high school...

Best

AA

**xman** · 23rd November 10, 10:38 AM

Originally Posted by MacMillan's son

Well aren't you the talented one X. What next, chapel ceiling painting, perhaps a bit of marble sculpture? Geez you creative people make me sick!!

I'm afraid I'm not very good at visual arts. I leave that to Validator and Little Man. But give a raconteur the chance to wax poetic and, well this is what you get.

I should state that we were on the verge of breaking record lows yesterday and the wind was reaching fierce as well. Quite a test for a new kiltie. My thighs warmed up quite quickly when I got inside though where my fingers remained cold for a long time. I'm in p@nts today for comparison, but it's not a fair comparison since there's no wind and I'm mostly staying inside and baking today, chocolate chip-walnut-banana bread this morning, vegetarian shepherds pie this afternoon.