The Wild Haggis

[Mael Coluim]

Tonight, I have a Scottish Society meeting, so I am kilted at work. I always wear the kilt on those days. As when anytime, I am kilted people ask me what’s with the kilt, today?

Today, being Groundhog Day, I reply don’t you know the Scottish connection to Groundhog Day? No, they say. Well, I reply Pennsylvania was settled by many Scots. In Scotland, for centuries men would go out in to the woods looking for a wild haggis on the first Tuesday of February. They believed if they killed a wild haggis, the winter would end soon and spring would begin.

But for centuries, no wild haggis had been found. In fact it was believed that William Wallace captured the last one. So, when the Scots came to Pennsylvania knowing there were no wild haggis there, decided to change their custom to the groundhog since there were so many of them. They changed the story to seeing his shadow, knowing it was always so overcast they had a better chance of ensuring an earlier spring.

The reply usually is, ‘I never heard that before’. My reply is, yes, I made it up this morning and then tell them the real reason for being kilted. When someone tells that they thought haggis was a meal of sheep entrails and oatmeal, I respond yes, you are right as Scots have not been able to find a wild haggis they used that for a substitute. It’s been great fun!

[Lallans]

I blame the world's zoos for not preserving the wild haggis before it went extinct. But it was considered too expensive to provide them with their required diet.

[Jordan]

I blame the world's zoos for not preserving the wild haggis before it went extinct. But it was considered too expensive to provide them with their required diet.

Well it's getting harder and harder to capture the lesser spotted englishman

[JCheshire]

Tonight, I have a Scottish Society meeting, so I am kilted at work. I always wear the kilt on those days. As when anytime, I am kilted people ask me what’s with the kilt, today?

Today, being Groundhog Day, I reply don’t you know the Scottish connection to Groundhog Day? No, they say. Well, I reply Pennsylvania was settled by many Scots. In Scotland, for centuries men would go out in to the woods looking for a wild haggis on the first Tuesday of February. They believed if they killed a wild haggis, the winter would end soon and spring would begin.

But for centuries, no wild haggis had been found. In fact it was believed that William Wallace captured the last one. So, when the Scots came to Pennsylvania knowing there were no wild haggis there, decided to change their custom to the groundhog since there were so many of them. They changed the story to seeing his shadow, knowing it was always so overcast they had a better chance of ensuring an earlier spring.

The reply usually is, ‘I never heard that before’. My reply is, yes, I made it up this morning and then tell them the real reason for being kilted. When someone tells that they thought haggis was a meal of sheep entrails and oatmeal, I respond yes, you are right as Scots have not been able to find a wild haggis they used that for a substitute. It’s been great fun!

Damn, that sounds remarkably similar to a yarn I spun about buffalo wings and where they come from. Perhaps if I'm egged on a bit I may share it...

[lethearen]

Damn, that sounds remarkably similar to a yarn I spun about buffalo wings and where they come from. Perhaps if I'm egged on a bit I may share it...

**throws an egg at Cheshire**

[JCheshire]

**throws an egg at Cheshire**

Okay, here we go: I dated a woman a number of years ago and on our first "big" date weekend we went camping. As we drove along we made conversation and somehow I came around to ask if she like buffalo wings. She told me that she did indeed, and I asked if she knew where they came from. When she said they were chicken wings I was quick to correct her. "No", I said. "They come from buffalo". I told her that millions of years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, the buffalo was the main food staple of the T-Rex and the buffalo's only means of escape was to unfold the giant wings that grew from its hind legs. It would lift up rump first and fly to safety and then gently settle back to earth. Well, after the dinosaurs became extinct and millions of years passed the buffalo no longer needed its large wings and gradually, as they evolved, the only remains of the wings were these little stumps that grew from the back of their legs. Every spring, when the buffalo wings were ready, the buffalo farmers would go out to the fields and shear off the wing nubs. She bought it hook, line and sinker. 6 months later we're at a party and I overhear her asking someone, "So, do you like buffalo wings? Do you know where they come from?". Needless to say, she was a wee bit pissed at me for a time...

[Nighthawk]

This is one of the funniest threads I've read in a good long while! Thanks, everyone- I needed the laugh!

I had a girl convinced once that there are North American varieties of butterflies that sting... and I once convinced a man that General Custer had hired a contingent of Highlanders as body guards, who used cabers and stones to kill Crow braves. I have to go get my wife from work, though, so I'll elaborate later if you all would like.

[madmacs]

Another little known fact about the haggis is that the legs on one side of it are longer than the other side. This quirk of evolution enabled it to live easily on the sides of the steep hills in the highlands of scotland.

It is also thought to be what eventually led to its extinction... the canny scots realised that they only had to chase the haggis the other way around the hill, and unbalanced it would roll down the hill to the bottom of the glen where another clansman would pick it up and store it in the folds of the top of the great kilt and wait for another to roll down.

[Mael Coluim]

This is one of the funniest threads I've read in a good long while! Thanks, everyone- I needed the laugh!

I had a girl convinced once that there are North American varieties of butterflies that sting... and I once convinced a man that General Custer had hired a contingent of Highlanders as body guards, who used cabers and stones to kill Crow braves. I have to go get my wife from work, though, so I'll elaborate later if you all would like.

That contingent of Highlanders with Custer sounds familar. I think I read about it once. Can you elaborate on it? Thanks!

[Mael Coluim]

Another little known fact about the haggis is that the legs on one side of it are longer than the other side. This quirk of evolution enabled it to live easily on the sides of the steep hills in the highlands of scotland.

It is also thought to be what eventually led to its extinction... the canny scots realised that they only had to chase the haggis the other way around the hill, and unbalanced it would roll down the hill to the bottom of the glen where another clansman would pick it up and store it in the folds of the top of the great kilt and wait for another to roll down.

I can relate to that as I have a slight leg length discrepancy and stumble occasionally on flat ground!