My wife scoffs...

[Legba]

Mrs. Legba noted initialy that she did not care for them, and did not go out in public with me. Now she does not care, and even bought me a few shirts for Christmas that matched my Dress Wool work kilts.
Not sure if she's coming around, or just gave up!

[Bugbear]

I love Al! I do miss that show... He was a genius!

Them was the good old days.

[Santa Wally]

23 months ago I bought my first kilt (a Wallace Sport Kilt) at a celtic festival, my wife said, "when are you ever going to wear that again?" I now have 5 kilts, the original Sport Kilt was was traded in to Rocky with his "clunker kilt" program and replaced with two kilts: A Wallace and an Isle of Skye.

My wife has gotten used to my kilt wearing and in fact has knit me 4 pair of garter ties after learning how-to here on X Marks. She's come around to the fact that I look good in a kilt and enjoy the comfort of a kilt when driving.

[Alan H]

Ya know, it's an interesting thing I've noticed... The one and only woman who gives me a hard time about wearing a "skirt" is my sister in law. She's firmly convinced that it simply means that the man wearing it is a wannabe cross dresser. She always hurls these insults when she's wearing a pair of jeans... I never could figure out how that works... It's OK for her to wear what is normally considered to be a mans garment, but let me wear something similar to a skirt, and it's a problem. I don't get the double standard. I once told her that when she stops wearing pants around me, I'll stop wearing kilts around her. She didn't like that- told me that I had no right to tell her what to wear. I don't get the double standard- and the people with that double standard- they don't seem to even know it's there!

There comes a point, and it should take LONG TIME to get there....many months, many gentle remonstrances, many more firm comments and so on..... where you draw a line in the sand.

IF there comes a point where it becomes crystal clear that she doesn't care anything about what you think or feel, that she is going to shoot her mouth yet again for the pure pleasure of being a PITA, then I would do this.

I would drop whatever I was doing. I would walk directly over to her. I would ram my face about six inches from her own, and scare the bejeezus out of her. I would bellow, VERY loudly that she was a )(*!*&^% b*tch, she'd opened her )!*^&(&^% mouth one time too many and that she could keep her *&^%*%^$ ignorant opinion to herself. SHUT THE )(*&(*^&%*%^&$ UP.

Yes, I know it' not "gentlemanly". There will be those who will huff and puff and say that doing so brings down to her level. There will be those, oh so much more refined of course, who will say that it's SO much more gentlemanly to raise an eyebrow than to raise the roof.

I say, fine. Bully for you "gentlemen". If she were a man I'd bust his nose. He had it coming. She's not a man so I'll just lay it on the line, loud and clear, in terms so utterly unmistakeable that she can not possibly misunderstand. She had it coming. If there were consequences for being a nonstop PITA b*tch, then golly, maybe she would learn from them, and stop, you know?

And then, if she still persists in being rude, I would never step foot in her house again, I would never invite her over to my home, and if I were in a public place with her, I would leave without comment. If it was a family event, then too bad. They may all tolerate her, but that doesn't mean that you have to. If my wife did not want to leave, then I would toss her the car keys and take public transportation or walk.

I'm dead serious, here. If this woman is mentally and spiritually incapable of ceding you the tiniest bit of respect, the utterly and completely remove her from your life. If that means not going to family events, then so be it.

I walked out of my aunt/uncle in-laws house during an Easter dinner once, after my aunt-in-law made a disparaging comment about my mother. I didn't return for a year and a half, until I got an apology. They've never repeated anything of that kind, ever again.

[llyd]

Alan...to put it in the words of Sir Winston, You step on their toes until they apologize...

[B R Gordon]

Alan, I understand and agree with what you have said. I also agree that this should be a Last Resort. Before it ever got to the point that we're discussing, I would hope and expect that my wife, her sister, would set her straight. It has little to do with the kilt has everything to do with respect.

[Tobus]

I would drop whatever I was doing. I would walk directly over to her. I would ram my face about six inches from her own, and scare the bejeezus out of her. I would bellow, VERY loudly that she was a )(*!*&^% b*tch, she'd opened her )!*^&(&^% mouth one time too many and that she could keep her *&^%*%^$ ignorant opinion to herself. SHUT THE )(*&(*^&%*%^&$ UP.

Yes, I know it' not "gentlemanly". There will be those who will huff and puff and say that doing so brings down to her level. There will be those, oh so much more refined of course, who will say that it's SO much more gentlemanly to raise an eyebrow than to raise the roof.

Wow. I don't know if I'd base my objection to that behavior so much on "being a gentleman" as I would on being raised never to treat women like that.

Disagreements and lack of respect notwithstanding, there just really isn't any call for ramming one's face into hers and yelling profanity. If the marriage has come to that sad state, it's probably just better to end it. But nothing good is going to come from using physical intimidation. In fact, all the 'abuse experts' out there are telling women to call the cops on men who do exactly that. At any rate, if it's respect you're looking for, that's not going to earn it. It will only earn fear and hatred. Not good for a marriage that you want to last. And if you don't want it to last, just go ahead and end it with a divorce. But this level of aggression is not going to do anything positive.

I don't mean to spark an argument here, so I'm sorry if my response disagrees with your self-justification. But there's never any call to behave like that to a woman unless one's life is in danger or something. Real men don't do that.

[BoldHighlander]

Im lucky my girlfriend likes my new kilt thinks it is sexy.

My wife feels the same way about me in a kilt.

As for some of my family, well, they know I've always danced to the beat of a different drummer!

[Nighthawk]

Alan...to put it in the words of Sir Winston, You step on their toes until they apologize...

I'm not going to repost Alan's tirade, but that is essentially what I did. I told her that she's educating her kids to be stupid- on purpose- and that responsible parents don't do that kind of thing. She's been really polite to me ever since... We'll see how long that lasts. I like this quote, but I would change it to "You kick them in the jimmy until they apologize!"

[BoldHighlander]

OK - well you just use positive reinforcement.

When you wear your kilt, be more attentive, romantic, helpful - don't overdo it, or you'll be rumbled in a minute, just do slightly more smiling, listening and stay closer.

When you wear trousers be slightly preocupied, wander off and find something to do or talk about what you are planning, or yourself in general.

Be subtle!!!

Anne the Pleater :ootd:

Anne,

You're an evil genius! I'm glad you're on our side!

Couldn't resist!