Kilts at funerals/memorial services

[Cowher]

I was speaking of location in the world as in Scotland/USA/Canada/whatever other country.
Maybe I fail to understand why someone would be offended by a kilt

[Father Bill]

I was speaking of location in the world as in Scotland/USA/Canada/whatever other country.
Maybe I fail to understand why someone would be offended by a kilt

Personally, I agree heartily - but it's not the kilt particularly so much as anything other than the virtually non-noticeable - anything that draws attention to ourselves as much as it honours another. It's a matter of never placing the kilt in a place where it might be upsetting to another - recognizing that we think that they'd be wrong.

[Cowher]

Personally, I agree heartily - but it's not the kilt particularly so much as anything other than the virtually non-noticeable - anything that draws attention to ourselves as much as it honours another. It's a matter of never placing the kilt in a place where it might be upsetting to another - recognizing that we think that they'd be wrong.

Ok I get that.
It just makes me think. Like you (as I remember) are a priest. I don't know if you wear a priests collar but if you do would it bother you if someone was offended that you stood out at a funeral?

[Father Bill]

Ok I get that.
It just makes me think. Like you (as I remember) are a priest. I don't know if you wear a priests collar but if you do would it bother you if someone was offended that you stood out at a funeral?

If I knew that somebody there was offended by priests, I'd wear a tie, and yes, normally I get up every morning and put on a collar.

[Cowher]

If I knew that somebody there was offended by priests, I'd wear a tie, and yes, normally I get up every morning and put on a collar.

Huh.. Your a more polite man than I. If they were offended by me a kilt wearer or you a priest I would question why I was there. Oh well! I must choose my battles.

[Father Bill]

Huh.. Your a more polite man than I. If they were offended by me a kilt wearer or you a priest I would question why I was there. Oh well! I must choose my battles.

No need to apologize, my friend. I've spent a long time in a very politically sensitive position as a school principal and learned that if I want something from folks later (like cooperation) then I avoid anything that might be a problem for any of them or their friends. I take your point well, and your wisdom in your very last line is exactly the same thing that I'm saying.

To me in the case of the kilt it's a matter of being its ambassador by introducing it as often as possible in circumstances where it will be received as something wonderful, leaving a positive taste in the mouth of those present, and, if there is any possibility of a problem, then not doing so.

I don't imagine for a moment that as you have suggested I am any more polite than you, but perhaps more willing to apply a standard of "If it might be a problem, then don't do it - only play when you're likely to win." We rarely win by forcing ourselves on those who are not ready to be receptive at the moment.

In cases like this, a wonderful principal-mentor taught me to "Let the community do it for you" so if I can please several people by wearing the kilt in happy circumstances, then when someone makes a negative or even slightly concerned comment in my abdsence, then those non-kilted members of the community will tell them how nice it was when I wore it, and that will be more effective than my kilted presence.

Myenhh! Political experience, I guess. I may even be right!

[SlackerDrummer]

I think this is a lot more straightforward than some of you guys are trying to make it.

1) If you always wear a kilt, then I think people at the funeral would expect you to be wearing a kilt. If they don't, then I would think they wouldn't know you (and that's a very different dilemma altogether).

2) If you often wear a kilt (like that is your form of dressing up or what you typically wear to significant events), then it is probably okay to wear it, as long as the rest of the ensemble is somber and toned down.

3) If you occasionally wear a kilt, I think you'd be hard-pressed to justify wearing it to a funeral unless it was the expected attire of the attendees (like the funeral of a clan chief or of a fellow kiltie).

[Andy Ternay]

To me in the case of the kilt it's a matter of being its ambassador by introducing it as often as possible in circumstances where it will be received as something wonderful, leaving a positive taste in the mouth of those present, and, if there is any possibility of a problem, then not doing so.

Very well said Father.

[Father Bill]

Our purpose in going to a funeral probably should be to honour the deceased and comfort the mourners, not to display our own identity or individuality. The focus is not on us. (Unless we're dead, and that would be awful!)

[Zardoz]

I think this is a lot more straightforward than some of you guys are trying to make it.

1) If you always wear a kilt, then I think people at the funeral would expect you to be wearing a kilt. If they don't, then I would think they wouldn't know you (and that's a very different dilemma altogether).

2) If you often wear a kilt (like that is your form of dressing up or what you typically wear to significant events), then it is probably okay to wear it, as long as the rest of the ensemble is somber and toned down.

3) If you occasionally wear a kilt, I think you'd be hard-pressed to justify wearing it to a funeral unless it was the expected attire of the attendees (like the funeral of a clan chief or of a fellow kiltie).

I'm with SD on this one. And since I rarely attend the funerals of strangers, and everyone I know expects me to be kilted, #1 mostly applies to me.