Need advise from Gentlemen of Substance

[Bovineguy]

I need some advise from Gentlemen of Substance.

First let me say I wore my kilt out into the big bad cruel world for the first time tonight. I wore it to my Girlfriends house and she gave me her stamp of approval, which really was important to me, then we went out for a wee bite and a few pints. I was pretty comfortable, oddly enough, no one even paid me a passing glance.

Anyway, the only problem I have is sitting down, I've watched the great video from Kilt Rental on "How to Sit in a Kilt" and it was a big help, but as you'll note from the title of this thread, I am a Gentlemen of Substance. I'm 6'3" (190.5 cm) and 330 lbs (149.69 kg). My arms aren't long enough to reach around behind my fat butt and sweep my pleats under me on both sides, while still modestly pressing down in front of the kilt. Sitting on a tall bar stool was no problem, but sitting in a chair, even though I didn't see anyone watching was a bit embarrassing. One cheek was on the kilt and the other on the chair, it obviously required me to do a little adjusting. So how does a Gentleman of Substance sit properly?

Thank you in advance.

[morrison]

I'm supposing ,"Be squared, rear to target sitting area, Bending slightly at the knees while still straight upright and very slightly forward of the target/seat, lower down until one can safely slide backward a few inches to assure the pleats go under the legs." ? ? Perhaps from that point one could effectively turn to be facing another direction while remaining seated.

A little trick I invented for entering my car with velour seats (velvet like, similar to corduroy) is to have a small, slick fabric cloth strip (satin, taffeta) and sit on it then turn. The wool or poly kilt pleats usually slide on the slicker, satin/taffeta type fabric rather than bunching up at every point of contact with the seat.

bowow?

[Oddern]

Try doing more of the sliding in motion than trying to reach your but. Close your legs, sitt down on the tip of the chair and then slide in. Then you can separate your legs and make sure your sporran and apron tucks well between your legs.
Skål!

[Chas]

Hello Bovineguy,

Glad to hear that your first kilting experiences went well. Please don't fall into the trap of believing that because you wear a kilt, you have to go regimental. This is debated here every three months, so I won't rehash it again.

My maxim is this: Wear what is appropriate for the activity in which you are engaged. Would you wear a kilt while skydiving? or spray painting? or welding? or swimming? or doing handstands?

My advice would be to buy a pair of black boxer shorts type underwear for those situations when you are out in public. I do not mean briefs or legged briefs, which are often and incorrectly called boxers. I mean true boxers - hang from the waist and give coverage, but no support. You retain your modesty, but have all the "freedom" that we kiltwearers love.

As time goes on and you become more proficient at sitting, you can dispense with the boxers and go regimental if you wish.

The other thing is practise. You have to practise sitting down again and again and again till you get it off pat. I would suggest doing it in front of a mirror if you can. That way you will be able to see what others see - or not.

Good luck and more good experiences.

Regards

Chas

[robbiethepiper]

I tend to use both hands to sweep the pleats under my bottom, relying on a fairly heavy sporran to depress the apron. I can always press the apron down further once seated...

[TheNaughtyScot]

A little trick I invented for entering my car with velour seats (velvet like, similar to corduroy) is to have a small, slick fabric cloth strip (satin, taffeta) and sit on it then turn. The wool or poly kilt pleats usually slide on the slicker, satin/taffeta type fabric rather than bunching up at every point of contact with the seat.

This is a trick that everyone could use. Substantial or not, getting into the car is always a hassle if you're trying to keep your pleats in place. On a longer drive, I'm always worried that I'll steam press wrrinkles in place of my pleats. Thanks for the tip!

[Joshua]

As a gentleman of considerably more substance (same weight, 3" shorter) and also of the clan McT-RexArms, I can sympathize.

I partially sweep under with one hand, enough to get my kilt under my butt as much as possible. I then "slide" into the seat backwards to pull the pleats under my taters, so they aren't touching the seat... while using my free hand to push my sporran or apron between my knees. This works much better on a barstool (because it's already at waist height) than a low chair, but thanks to low chairs usually being under a table, I've not answered the question at dinnertime.

I did, however, answer the question for a good friend when I squatted to pick something off the deck. He just said "nice nuts dude...". I tested, and re-created this scenario at home with my wife watching (she confirmed that parts of me are about 2" off the deck and below the hem of my kilt when squatting) and have decided that unless I drop something worth more than my modesty (about $.25 currently), it's going to stay down or a non-kilted friend will have to pick it up for me... or I'm going to very carefully kneel.

[thescot]

Good advice above. I use the "backing onto the chair" trick myself, making sure that the bottom of the kilt hits the chair surface as I back onto the chair. I do what sweeping I can, but with it's not always very successful. The chair does the work, and if you keep knees together as you sit, you can arrange the sporran between your legs after you're seated. When sitting in a booth, I sit facing away from the booth and then spin around before placing the sporran. A little practice, and you'll be set.

As to underwear, I prefer briefs in dark colors to boxers as they are not as likely to show under the kilt if the bottom is up a bit. Even if not regimental, I prefer to look regimental because I don't like the looks of drawers sticking out of a kilt.

[Cynthia]

The thing to remember is not to bend over at the waist (which I've seen happen when someone is trying to reach and sweep the pleats) -- it'll raise the back hem even more than just the act of sitting will already do. This includes when you're sitting down or picking something up off the ground. Lower yourself with your legs (just remember in the case of picking something up to watch it from other angles, too).

Letting the chair sweep the pleats for you when you slide back is a good idea.

I have to admit, I hate cloth seats in low cars when I'm wearing a skirt of any kind (even ankle-length). First, I have to squeeze in because of my height, and then once I'm in, I lift myself slightly and adjust my skirt so it's not bunched up due to the grabbiness of the fabrics.