Jock, I was interested to read the "we never wear black to funerals" bit
I wondered about that as well. Jock may be speaking for the Highlands of Scotland where he lives, but in my home town in the Scottish Southern Uplands close to the English Border, black clothing is commonplace at funerals. Tartan kilts or all black kilts are acceptable funeral wear here although most male mourners will wear dark coloured trousers.