Recently, I've adopted a "novel" all-purpose response to the people who tell me, "Nice skirt!" (Yes, I get a fair bit of it, even in Japan...)

I smile as wide as is natural, and say, "Thank you!" as sincerely as I possibly can. And I leave it at that, as there is usually no other followup conversation.

My reasoning is this. Of all the people in the world who would say "Nice skirt," I can divide them broadly into two main groups. Those who are being sincere but fail to use the correct term (due to an unfamiliarity with the correct terms, or just for whatever reason not being able to articulate the word: "kilt" (like my wife sometimes). And the second group are those who are trying to be insulting, or condescending, or just happen to be simpletons who get their jollies from taking the pi** at the expense of others.

If I am friendly, smile genuinely and say "thank you" and the person falls into the first group, then I've acknowledged their well-meaning compliment and we both leave happy. (I don't feel the compelling need to correct them and say, "It's called a kilt" since not everyone responds well to being corrected by a complete stranger. I figure that if they are truly that curious, they will either ask me directly or figure it out for themselves at a later juncture).

If I am friendly, smile genuinely and say "thank you" and the person falls into the second group, then I've achieved two things. First, I have not given them the satisfaction of getting a rise out of me, meaning that their sarcasm has fallen flat (there's nothing more frustrating than having your witty sarcasm shot down by someone who thinks you were being genuine). Second, I've acted true to my own spiritual principles. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you. (Luke 6:28). If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. (Romans 12:20).

Having lived in Japan all these years makes this remarkably easy. Japanese people generally don't understand sarcasm at all when faced by it, nor do they commonly use it themselves. It has become natural for me to take most comments at face value, to the point that when I deal with my fellow Westerners, I too have a bit of trouble discerning when someone is being sarcastic! :-)


Quote Originally Posted by Doc Canary View Post
I think it is good form to avoid replying to an insult with an insult. We should always be the better person and rise about the situation, but often is it difficult to ignore the temptation and ease to go even lower than the original offending statement.
The people who ask the more stupid/insulting questions are more often that not so oblivious to their comments, they are beyond even the simplest forms of reason. Leaving them baffled by a cleaver retort is your best option. You leave looking like the thoughtful man you are and they just end up having their stupidity confirmed.