X Marks contribution be cool ..

[Derek]

The wife and myself are working on several new songs that we have written for a new cd that we intend to release later this year.
I came up with the thought for an x marks 'input' for one of them, which would make the song quite global and an interesting way of writing the verses.
A little background to the song. Over the years of using public transport etc, I have noiticed that most people, if not all of them using it, have their heads either bowed down texting on phones or fiddling on laptops or got headphones plugged in listening to music etc. Apart from the engine noise, the bus/train is silent.
So thats whats led to this song ... the art of conversations dead.
If anyone would like to come up with a verse to follow on the first verse that we have written that be brill. Ideally we need another four verses. In the meantime I beaver on.


Heres the first verse


The Art of Conversation's Dead

The art of conversation’s dead,
Thought it something that I said,
On bus and train, the silence says,
It’s finger n’ thumbs, and texts instead,
Computer screens, conversation’s dead

Iechyd Da
Derek

[bdkilted]

I'm no song writer, but what about this:

The art of conversation's dead
I never know what should be said,
so I keep my head in the book I brought
and hope you will talk instead.

You probably feel the say way too,
and dread the rejection that my come.
The art of conversation's dead
If not for me, and not for you
no friendship made, and conversation is dead.

Use it, change it, ignore it, up to you. Just thought I would try to help.
BD

[Lallans]

I'll dedicate my contribution to the young women I see riding on the Toronto Subway on my very occasional visits to that city, and to the young men and assorted pickup artists I see yearing to talk to them:

The art of conversation is dead
I'll tune in my Ipod instead.
If you dare to talk, I'll call a cop
And the art of conversation is dead.

I'm sure this will work on any subway system in the modern age.

[auld argonian]

Derek, you's readin' my mind. I've been on public transit a lot lately and I'm flabbergasted by how everybody is plugged in and staring at little screens while their fingers do little jerky patterns on wee little keyboards.

The late Chicago writer, Studs Terkel, used to walk through building concourses muttering to himself about being in "zombie valley" twenty years ago. I'd pass him in those concourses and say hello and he'd just look up and say, "You're in zombie valley, young man...do you know that? Zombie valley!" If he could only see how far it's gone.

Sorry that I can't think of any lyrics but I do have a true story. About two weeks ago, I was on the el on the way to the Duke Of Perth. Everybody had their ears plugged and their heads down staring at their phones and pods. We passed the high rise garage across the street from one of the big local theatre companies and there were two fellas doing "guerilla theatre" on the top floor or the garage in full view of all of the people on the passing el train. And when I say guerilla theatre, I mean it...one fella was literally wearing a gorilla suit and attacking the other guy who was holding the gorilla off with one of those big punch'em balloons on a rubber band. I saw these two yahoo's and just started smiling...and then I looked around and realized that maybe three or four people on the entire train may have seen this while all the rest were focused on their personal entertainment devices or whatever.

Sort of made that act of theatre even more important. We used to have a theatre here that had a small neon sign with the words from Hesse's Steppenwolf: For Madmen Only. In this case, who are the madmen? The people who saw the performance or the people who totally missed it because they were so absorbed?

Camera obscura.

Best

AA

[Calico]

Sorry, can't talk now. . . text me, k?

I'll think about it, but I'm no good at versifying.

[Mike_Oettle]

Sorry, Derek, no verses come to mind for me, either.
But for 18 years I commuted daily by bus. I always had a book (or a newspaper or magazine) with me, but I was also always willing to chat. I made a lot of friends that way, from school kids to grannies. Sometimes I had to talk rather loudly because of the engine noise, which attracted attention from other folk nearby, but it never bothered me.
I was well known for walking to and from the bus reading, too. People wondered how I managed not to trip or walk into things, but I always kept an eye out for that sort of thing!
A young man who works with my wife used to ride the bus. When I met him at my wife’s place of work we didn’t recognise each other (obviously he wasn’t the chatty type), but one day he saw me walking with a book and he recalled that he had often seen me on the bus while commuting to the university campus.
For some folk on the bus, the art of conversation was certainly dead. But I struck up conversations with many commuters.
I remember when only one Harry Potter book had been published, and I was reading it on the bus when a little girl noticed the cover and called out: “That’s so cool!”
My reading matter was often a conversation starter.
Regards,
Mike

[cormacmacguardhe]

I have noticed this same isolation even in my own home; wife sits at her desk working away on her computer, my daughter and I are surfing on our laptops, each to our own sites and likes. I see this at many places today. People sitting and texting or with earphones listening to their own music. The ones that cause me the most discomfort, are those who are carrying on conversations with no visible companion, then I realize that they are using "bluetooth" technology. It seems to me that more and more we, as a society are building walls, albeit ones of techno stuff, between each other. Cutting ourselves off from human contact.

[Calico]

Like I said, I don't versify much, so please take this as trying to be helpful.

I notice the final word in lines 1/2 and 3/4 match, leaving "says" ending line 3 as an orphan.

The art of conversation’s dead,
Thought it something that I said,
On bus and train, the silence says,
It’s finger n’ thumbs, and texts instead,
Computer screens, conversation’s dead

But if "says" were changed to "reigns" it would pick up on train in its own line. Or make it "On buses and trains, the silence reigns" for a true match, although that adds one syllable to the line, would that affect the meter too much?

The art of conversation’s dead,
Thought it something that I said,
On buses and trains, the silence reigns,
It’s finger n’ thumbs, and texts instead,
Computer screens, conversation’s dead

Was finger (singular) and thumbs (plural) intentional or a typo? are you imparting special meaning to "finger" as a vulgar communication? Shouldn't do that, it may be vulgar, but it would still qualify as conversation. Best perhaps if they are both plural and so implied both are being used for computerized activities.

Obviously a folk song about one of our current society's decling arts (converstaion) but could you give us a little more hint of the full story you want to impart? It might help the suggestions be more to your liking. Is there a meter scheme you want to enforce? Rhyme scheme? Topic adherence? For instance, is this a lament for a skill lost, or a warning that "its not too late to change things" or a rosy "there was a golden age" or an optimistic "we can return to how it was"?

Thanks for an interesting thread.

[Derek]

Calico ... typo error


The Art of Conversation's Dead

The art of conversation’s dead,
Thought it something that I said,
On bus and train, the silence says,
It’s fingers n’ thumbs, and texts instead,
Computer screens, conversation’s dead

With regard to adherence I thought I would let the song develop in its own way once we have a few verses on the way and we can take it from there. If you say the above verse a few times you can feel the meter of it.
Thanks for the input so far ,,, the more the merrier
Iechyd Da
Derek

[3fingerslinger]

modern times have left me cold
with it's technological advances
it should have stopped at the electric guitar
hanging out at the concerts and dances