If I were a knife pleat...I would face...

[Joe Gondek]

Ok, Ok, I think I've got it.

Left facing: Homosexual
Right facing: Heterosexual
Kingussie: Bisexual
Box pleat: Asexual
Double box pleat: Very asexual
Military pleat: Don't ask Don't tell ?

I'm going to sleep a lot better having worked that out!

you have brought so much order to the kilt wearing world

[McElmurry]

If I were a knife pleat
I'd swish in the morning
I'd swish in the evening all over this land
It's the swish of tartan
It's the swish of freedom
And it's the swish about love between my brothers and my sisters
All over this land