The Kilt and Anxiety

[Cowher]

Hey guys.
I have social anxiety and have panic attacks. I LOVE being kilted and the comfort that comes with it. I have the desire to wear my kilts to the pub, to dinner with the wife and nights out. I can also say I handle the attention I get when I go out both positive and negative.
My problem is strapping the darn things on and getting out the door.
For example I wanted to go to the pub with my buddy who knows I kilt up now and then and doesn't say anything negative. I got all kilted up nervous the entire time I was getting dressed. I was trying to cowboy up and just do it. I came down stairs and my wife said 'you look good. I like that kilt'. I was ready to go but my own mind made me feel like I was wearing a French maid lingerie outfit. I went and tossed on my best pair of jeans and went to the pub.
Has anyone else had this feeling. How did/do you overcome?

[xman]

I have never had such a problem, but perhaps you can review a photo of someone whom you admire kilted, or write down the nice things people, strangers especially say and read them on your way out the door. One I couldn't write down though would be the way a beautiful young lady looked at me while I was on my way to the fabric shop. I'll even bet if I had stopped to tell her I was getting ready to do some sewing it wouldn't have dissuaded her in the least. :P

[Rob, ClanMacMillan, NM]

I usually chicken out *before* I kilt up

Once I'm kilted, it takes a whole lot to get me out of the kilt: "Honey, it's time -- take off the kilt and back away..."

Rob

[cessna152towser]

I went and tossed on my best pair of jeans and went to the pub.

Each to their own.
I feel completely at ease wearing a kilt, but I would have been embarrassed to be seen out in public in jeans, I haven't worn jeans since I was a teenager.

[robbiethepiper]

Each to their own.
I feel completely at ease wearing a kilt, but I would have been embarrassed to be seen out in public in jeans, I haven't worn jeans since I was a teenager.

***. I'd feel ridiculous wearing jeans.....Robbie

[Peter Lowe]

I am sure that you have developed techniqes to counter your panic attacks and anxiety. So I suggest that you treat this in the same way!

Well done to you for going out despite social anxiety and panic attacks,
Well done to you for doing it kilted!

Keep up the good work and enjoy.

Sincerely,

Peter

[Tobus]

I've done that a couple of times. I wouldn't say it was an anxiety thing... just that I put on the kilt, looked in the mirror, and said to myself, "nah, the kilt is going to be way out of place where I'm going, and I'm just not in the mood for that kind of attention." This may make me a lesser kiltie in some peoples' eyes, but I'm fine with that.

When I was younger, though, I struggled very hard with anxiety about going in public, regardless of how I was dressed. I would quite literally get sick to my stomach (usually accompanied by vomiting) over simple things like going to school. Or playing sports. Or talking to someone I didn't know. So I know how it can be, and I feel your pain! Sadly, though, I don't have any quick solutions to it. It's just something I've worked on my whole life, and I still have to mentally brace myself to do things that others don't think twice about.

Wearing the kilt and building confidence over time should help, though. Just don't force yourself into it too hard. That can backfire.

[RockyR]

It's the kind of thing that you have to realize is all in your mind. It may take a little bit of staring yourself down in the mirror or talking yourself into it to get over the 'mental hurdle'.

Also, it sounds like your wife approves. Maybe ask her to help with your confidence by 'talking you up' a bit when your confidence is shaken. The confidence of a wife can go a long way to helping your own esteem.

The last resort is one you already touched upon... "just cowboy up and do it". Though I'd perhaps rephrase it... "Just Scotsman up and Dubh it". Pun INTENDED.

[tulloch]

I guess that a lot of people do not have a great amount of self-confidence. Some can't wear hats because it makes them look stupid or funny. Hard to believe but there are people out there who feel like they look just awful if they wear bluejeans. My mother wore pants a couple times. Just feels like it is wrong.

My brother never wears hats. He never wears tweed though I think he would look great in it. He thinks he would look foolish. He does not mind being seen unshaven and wearing cheap sweats or wearing off-the-rack super-sized cheapo suits. NOT ME!

I often see recent immigrants from Afghanistan or Pakistan or India wearing what they arrived in, looking at the dizzying array of things in the supermarket. Many of them will want to shed their indigenous garb and suit-up in t-shirt and jeans as quickly as they can. Many will sit tight knowing that there is nothing wrong with how they came into this world.

You have the great advantage of living here in the States. We have broad spectrum experiences. Wearing a kilt you will encounter some expected questions and some unexpected ones. You will also encounter a lot of people who really don't care. Think about it - if you see a woman wearing a headscarf do you think her strange? How about a man wearing sandals and socks? Weird? Do you ask them, "hey, whats with the scarf?"

Lots of people feel that having a tattoo would be too weird. I avoid them because I could not easily change the look. Others, I think, like the fact that it shows they are dedicated.

Be strong! Look straight ahead and know that you are the way YOU are meant to be. Wear the hat! Wear the kilt. Do not fear the dialog! Enjoy. And, in the end, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then keep it in the closet for those extra-special events - kilted weddings, your bagpipe lessons. Tell you what - why not come to Gardner MA where nobody knows you and lets drink a couple pints?

[piperdbh]

It might be helpful to ease into public kilting by organizing a kilt night with some other dudes in your area, so all the attention wouldn't be on you and you'd be in a group of similarly-dressed compatriots. Attending your nearest Games will help a lot, too.



When I've had attacks, they've been at the party or event, but not before.