The Rules of the Gentleman

[artificer]

It's not Confucius, but I suppose "gentleman" could be substituted in to this; hope it's all right to quote.

1. The skilful traveller leaves no traces of his wheels or footsteps; the skilful speaker says nothing that can be found fault with or blamed; the skilful reckoner uses no tallies; the skilful closer needs no bolts or bars, while to open what he has shut will be impossible; the skilful binder uses no strings or knots, while to unloose what he has bound will be impossible. In the same way the sage is always skilful at saving men, and so he does not cast away any man; he is always skilful at saving things, and so he does not cast away anything. This is called 'Hiding the light of his procedure.'

2. Therefore the man of skill is a master (to be looked up to) by him who has not the skill; and he who has not the skill is the helper of (the reputation of) him who has the skill. If the one did not honour his master, and the other did not rejoice in his helper, an (observer), though intelligent, might greatly err about them. This is called 'The utmost degree of mystery.' (ch. 27)

I'm quoting from the old James Legge translation of Lao-Tze's The Tao Teh King (Project Gutenberg EBook #216).

Indeed it is an old version, but still true to the original meaning (and close to my heart). Thank you Ted. I do love my Classical Taoists. ith:

A Gentleman...


Knows that Honor is a two edged sword and the sharper edge is always the one facing him

Deals in hard knocks and careful courtesy, nothing in between

Knows that poise is in the art of raising the eyebrow and not the roof

Knows all the rules of polite society and knows when they should be followed religiously and when they need to be set aside out of neccessity.

Treats all with respect and expects to be treated with respect by all

Can ride, dance, sing, fence, and shoot

Knows how to enjoy a fine vintage wine in august company as well as lemonade from a child's sidewalk stand

Knows how to dress well and knows that clothes can reflect the man, but most importantly knows that they certainly do not make the man

Is polite and well spoken

Knows how to trust and is trustworthy

Offers insult very rarely and never accidentally

Is kind to animals and careful with machinery

Is quick to sincerely apologize when at fault

Is the one who will always stand for their turn at the wheel, and more if needed

When the subject of Service comes up they think first of their obligations to serve instead of other's obligations to serve them

Keeps calm and always can be counted to carry on


Cheers

Jamie

You, sir, continue to score points in my "must buy a drink for" list. (along with Ted on his last post). Being a Chap and a Gent is at least as much a duty as it is a "perk".

[gary meakin]

Very nice Jamie.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Boldhighlander for starting this thread and all who "contributed".
It has been on my mind quite a bit for these last couple of days and caused me to think twice about how I acted and reacted in my day to day dealings with my coworkers.
It has been a great reminder of the kind of person I think I should be and I hope that as we inevitably move on to other discussions, I won't forget what has been brought to mind here.
Thanks again.
Gary

[thescot]

Well said, Jamie. Those comments are exactly what I think of when I think of a gentleman. I especially like "offers insult very rarely and never accidentally."

And, I believe, a gentleman can weild a weapon or a diaper with equal expertise.

[Alan H]

Very nice Jamie.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Boldhighlander for starting this thread and all who "contributed".
It has been on my mind quite a bit for these last couple of days and caused me to think twice about how I acted and reacted in my day to day dealings with my coworkers.
It has been a great reminder of the kind of person I think I should be and I hope that as we inevitably move on to other discussions, I won't forget what has been brought to mind here.
Thanks again.
Gary

Well said! ...and I have been doing the same, though I expect the results and outcome of our thoughts might be a bit different. But then, if we were all the same, think how boring it would be!

[ccga3359]

A Gentleman...

Is...careful with machinery

I guess that leaves me and my nine and a half fingers out then. Might as well go kick an old lady across the street!

[BoldHighlander]

While it may seem silly and "uncool" to the male youth of today, nothing is more attracted to a well brought-up woman than a well brought-up man. I hope to raise a very polite and kind young man and even though some girls may tease him, the women who will truly matter will be the ones who will cherish those qualities and vise versa.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Boldhighlander for starting this thread and all who "contributed".

It was my pleasure Gary, and thank you,Jamie (& everyone else), for your earlier contribution!

Well said! ...and I have been doing the same, though I expect the results and outcome of our thoughts might be a bit different. But then, if we were all the same, think how boring it would be!

Hear! Hear!

[piperdown]

Another definition of a gentleman (in a Scottish context) was a man who knew how to play the bagpipes but didn't.

I've read every post. This one put a smile on my face!!

[thescot]

While it may seem silly and "uncool" to the male youth of today, nothing is more attracted to a well brought-up woman than a well brought-up man. I hope to raise a very polite and kind young man and even though some girls may tease him, the women who will truly matter will be the ones who will cherish those qualities and vise versa.

I recommend How to Raise a Gentleman to young fathers and mothers. The fact is that once one is familiar with the "Gentleman's Rules" (for lack of a better name), they are not hard to follow, make a lot of sense, and are appalling in their absence.

Why would one not want to open the door for a lady? Or dress appropriately for the occassion? Or know the difference between courage and stupidity?

I am a Marine. I suppose I can kill with my hands, but I can also change a diaper, caress a woman, tie a bow tie, and sew on a button. A polite society is a pleasant society, and I choose the society of gentlemen. Few of us--is any--are to the manor born, but we all know how to act.

Meghan, I am glad to hear what you have to say on the subject. I think all young men--that is, under 40--should listen and heed your words.

[BoldHighlander]

Words of true wisdom. Thank you Jim.

[O'Callaghan]

"15. Drinks are not meant to be mixed."

Okay, this one is lost on me. As much as I enjoy a wee dram of scotch, a gin and tonic really hits the spot on a hot summer day. I say chuck this rule out and you can still be a gentleman.

I think it may mean not mixing the grain and the grape, which tends to make one ill. That interpretation would make sense, whereas not drinking G&Ts does not.

For example, whiskey and beer are both grain, whereas wine and brandy are both grape. So, you aren't supposed to drink beer and brandy in the same session, or wine and whiskey. Technically I suppose it also means not mixing beer and wine in the same session, which I do tend to do sometimes.

There again, I would say a gentleman is someone who knows he is breaking the rules when he does it.