Kilt To A Funeral?

[M. A. C. Newsome]

My thought is this. You don't want to appear to be drawing attention away from the real reason everyone is there -- to honor the deceased.

If the person you are honoring was into the Scottish community, regularly wore the kilt, etc., then by all means go kilted. It would be a way of honoring them.

But if they had no connection to this kind of thing, and you are going to be the only person there wearing the kilt, you need to ask yourself how much attention is this going to draw towards you.

In other words, is it going to be a distraction to others present?

This is an important consideration. To you, you may feel like you are honoring the deceased by wearing your nicest clothes. And I would agree with you. But will it be seen that way by other mourners?

Just remember, this day is not about you, and use your best judgement. And it never hurts to ask the departed's family members if they would approve. I'd put it in terms of you wishing to honor him/her by wearing your kilt, but wanting to make sure it would not be seen as out of place by the family. I'm sure they will appreciate you asking first.

Aye,
Matt

[Rubber Soul]

That's a good idea, Matt.

Anyways, the funeral was today, and I attended it. I know the family quite well, and they all quite like the kilt, so I assumed that it would not have been a problem. I don't believe it drew any attention away from the man honored, considering how it could be hardly seen as I was sitting in the middle of a pew for the service. Also, when I wear a kilt, I generally don't make it a huge point. I just go about as if I was dressed as anyone else, and no one really notices it much that way.

In no way would I want to draw any attention away from who was honored. The reason I wear the kilt is because it is my best dress, and I don't really have anything else too dressy. I was the only kilted one there, but no one seemed to make any notice of it. A few people I knew there but had not previously seen the kilt mentioned it, but that was it.

In other words, it was what I would consider a 'success'.

[Geoduck]

I know that some clans actually have a mourning tartan. In the future, that could always be an option as well. You can see an example on Bear's site under Menzies, Black

http://www.bearkilts.com/Tartans/MenziesBlack.jpg

George

[Avonlea22]

But if they had no connection to this kind of thing, and you are going to be the only person there wearing the kilt, you need to ask yourself how much attention is this going to draw towards you.


Aye,
Matt

I'm not quite sure if I agree with this statement. If someone wears the kilt full time, then why would one consider wearing something different...even to a funeral? I say that if it's your regular outfit, then by all means, wear it.

[Hamish]

I have to agree with you Brian. In the past few years I've probably attended eight or nine funerals, but for the past five and a half years I've owned no trousers, so a kilt it had to be. Of course, I've been careful not to have worn anything too bright or attention-seeking, and for the last two ceremonies I have worn my TFCK grey pinstripe kilt suit, with a plain white shirt and black tie. That is the sort of thing I'd have worn were I still trousered, and no-one, to my knowledge, expressed surprise or disapproval at seeing the kilt.

[Hal]

I've attended two wake/funeral/memorial service events in the past month, and went to both "kilted". In fact, I went to the first night of the first wake in a suit, and the first thing the daughter of the deceased said was "You wore PANTS? Why? Will you wear the kilt tomorrow?" At the second "event", I sort of "felt out the issue" in advance, and the family was very much in favor of the idea.

I tend to go out of my way to dress "up" as much as possible...By that, I mean my tank, and a nice jacket/tie/etc. Somehow, I don't think a jacobite-type shirt would fly. But that's just my opinion.

Hal

[bubba]

I tend to go out of my way to dress "up" as much as possible...By that, I mean my tank, and a nice jacket/tie/etc. Somehow, I don't think a jacobite-type shirt would fly. But that's just my opinion.

Hal

Hal, that's simple respect for the family and friends of the deceased. To me funerals and weddings are not casual affairs and dressing up for the occasion is only proper.

[Hal]

My sentiments exactly. One would no more go in "casual kilt" than jeans...

[Mychael Sporrano]

Just remember, this day is not about you, and use your best judgement. And it never hurts to ask the departed's family members if they would approve.

This is a matter to which I have previously given much thought when I first began wearing kilts. I have to strongly disagree with nearly the entirety of Matt's post!

Wearing a kilt with appropriate jacket and accessories to a funeral, viewing, wake, etc., shouldn't require permission in order to be considered proper. Would anyone expect a person from any other culture to eschew their traditional formal wear because it might stand out from the others in attendance? Remember, part of our mission is reinforcing the kilt as clothing and not as costume, and a formal kilt is definitely in the former camp.

That said, I did once attend a viewing while wearing a traditional kilt and tasteful lovat green tweed jacket. The viewing was for a grandmother of one of my wife's coworkers. One comment that filtered back to me a few days later was that the family thought my attire very strange. No one was offended, at least I didn't get that feeling from what I was told, but given what I ws told I don't think that they like kilts very much. Is that my problem? No. Would I wear an appropriate kilt outfit again around them, even if it were another funeral? Definitely.

Mychael

[Mychael Sporrano]

I neglected to mention in my response that I did once ask permission to wear a kilt. It was to a family dinner thrown in honor of my grandmother's 86th or 87th birthday. Grandmother didn't seem very fond of the idea of me wearing kilts, and since it was her day [and not about me], I didn't want her to be uncomfortable. When I asked her about it She beat around the bush with the result that I decided not to wear my kilt. It did annoy me, however, but I didn't show her my annoyance.

Meanwhile, as chance would have it, she heard such positive feedback concerning my kilt from other family members that ina subsequent phone call she told me it would be okay to wear the kilt to her dinner. Now she brags me up.

So, to tie my two posts together, the only way I would not wear a kilt to a function would be in deference to the guest of honor- if he or she made their preference known beforehand. As a matter of course I would usually not solicit their opinions, however. Grandmother's are an entity of their own!

Mychael