New Forum Idea: So He Wants to Wear the Kilt

[Colin]

What the hell is going on around here? This used to be a site for kilted men; real men. Now we're wearing slips and starting support groups!
Watch out!
We are on the crumbly edge of a slippery slope. One mis-step and we are discussing nail polish, panty hose, and trans-genderism.
Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just Bear in a bad mood and spouting off again. But anyone drop in at Tom's Cafe recently? It used to be almost all kilts. Then the Atrium changed from skirts to trans-genderism and the nail polish set moved in en masse and took over Tom's.
I am far from a kilt traditionalist. I'm more of a slob in a kilt. I let my pleats wrinkle. I wear sweatshirts and low socks. But I'll leave when the posts turn to leg waxing, or frilly miniskirts.

I feel for the guys whose wive's don't like their kilts but those guys have the same choice we have all made. Wear a kilt or don't wear a kilt. We've all had some kind of resistance to our kilt wearing from work or family.
Women need no help talking about their problems with other women. They have friends to discuss their problems with. This site is primarily for kilted men. Let's keep it that way!

Okay, group hug.

Yeah, but maybe those of us whose wives have never had a problem with us wearing a kilt can help answer some of the insecurities that non supportive wives are feeling. I still think it's a good idea, and holds no comparison to the rubbish at Tom's (anyone still visit or post there despite the complaints?).

[Archangel]

My vote would be yes, I think the thread history shows that something like this would be beneficial. I don't think it would result in being "taken over" since we're talking more about guests reviewing the threads.

The downside, I'm cynical, is that my wife, who could probably give excellent advice on this, is not likely to post. She is more from the "give your head a shake, girl" school of thought on this. To her, a kilt is fairly natural, and "so what?". Any objection is more fashion, she would rather see the heavy socks and the Jacobite shirt but...she prefers kilt, tee, and sandals to jeans and stray cats/rolling stones tees.

The other thing is that a really cynical person knows every woman on a board is really that fat comic book guy from the Simpsons. (but, hey, pirate kitty, I don't believe that.)

[Shay]

Meow, yarr...

Actually, I believe I did include all significant others in my original staement- a category which I think also includes spuoses of any sex, mothers, fathers, employers, or anyone who's really significant in a kilt-wearer's life- in no way do I want a 'ladies-only' forum. (For starters, I'd be disqualified for cursing and wearing boots!)

Bear- I edited my original post to more accurately reflect the idea I had- thanks for showing me where I wasn' presenting myself correctly.

[bear]

I agree Bear that this site needs to stay soverign ground for masculine men who wear the MAN's kilt in a masculine way.

The problem is that my wife will talk to her friends who are most likely going to support her view even if tehy don't think a kilt is an issue. I need to be able to gather a group of women to support my view...other than the ladies who lift my kilt with their eyes

Cavscout,
I'm glad you'd prefer the site stay as it is with regards to masculinity.
But, you do not need to gather a group of women to support your view. You are a man who is self confident enough to wear a kilt in public. Other men look at you and wish they had the stones to wear a kilt.

Tell your wife a kilt is healthier than pants and makes you happier and more alive. How can she object to your health and happiness?

As 'real men', do we need permission to wear what we choose? Tell her, "(insert name), I love you but I will wear my kilt and you need to get used to it."
You don't choose what she wears. Why is the reverse acceptable?

[bear]

Meow, yarr...

Actually, I believe I did include all significant others in my original staement- a category which I think also includes spuoses of any sex, mothers, fathers, employers, or anyone who's really significant in a kilt-wearer's life- in no way do I want a 'ladies-only' forum. (For starters, I'd be disqualified for cursing and wearing boots!)

Bear- I edited my original post to more accurately reflect the idea I had- thanks for showing me where I wasn' presenting myself correctly.

Shay,
Aside from (some) employers, nobody has the right to deny a guy the right to wear a kilt.

We do not need to convince others in our lives to accept kilts; we need to convince those wavering men in kilts that they must stand by their own choices, that they must wear their kilts when and where they choose, that they are men!

Those men that can't be convinced will wear pants. Not all men are cut out for kilts.

[Iolaus]

One problem I see with the suggestion is that the "others" are not likely to be totally honest with their concerns in a forum that the kilt-wearer is likely to be following as well, especially if it is a "significant other." Also, delicate or emotionally volitile subjects are liable to turn into huge domestic blow-ups when the poster starts feeling ganged up on by the kilt-wearers who will inevitably join in on the thread.

[cavscout]

I'm onboard with that Bear. We've had that conversation but I see no need to "force feed" my kilt wearing to her. I wear my kilts every chance I have but I don't want it to be a point of contention between us (even though the kilts aren't going away ).

It might be sufficient for someone like Shay to compose an essay similar to what others have done on various topics related to kilt wearing and orient it toward the S.O. of kilt wearers. Kind of from the "other persons" perspective.

[Dreadbelly]

Shay,
Aside from (some) employers, nobody has the right to deny a guy the right to wear a kilt.

We do not need to convince others in our lives to accept kilts; we need to convince those wavering men in kilts that they must stand by their own choices, that they must wear their kilts when and where they choose, that they are men!

Those men that can't be convinced will wear pants. Not all men are cut out for kilts.

This is true on so many levels. Some men are just not up for the challenge of wearing a kilt. When I stated this before, I got flamed by several people here. You know who you are. (At the moment, I don't remember who you are) I got raked over the coals for saying pretty much the same thing that Bear just said and I got lectured.

And I don't see anybody raking Bear over the coals for stating the painful and obvious truth.

For some men, no matter what we say, or what we say to their wives, nothing is going to do them any good.

It is a bloody crime to be MASCULINE. Men are expected to shave off their gender and age identifying characteristics, their facial hair. Expected to dress and behave a certain way. Men are belittled and put down for being men, men who stand out and DO THEIR OWN THING. A woman is expected, hell, required to flaunt her gender in this world to make something of her self... But men must make themselves fit in to a cookie cutter mold. Off goes the beard. Hair must be clipped short. Don't stand out. Don't be different. Be a cog or a gear in the machine just like everybody else. Wear your uniform and fit in or you WILL be punished.

Some men don't have what it takes to deal with this sort of pressure.

Sorry. Had to speak my piece. I believe I kept it civilised. But what Bear said hit a nerve and I could not contain my self. I HAD to say something.

[Wompet]

Maybe we could have a forum for that sort of discussion and call it, "So He Wants to Wear the Kilt," for folks to come and ask questions without feeling like they're intruding on the rest of the community with their questions.

...
(And also for bosses, friends, parents, kids, etc to post questions or concerns- not just for spouses or partners.)

I'm just thinking if there was a place that could host a kilt answer board with a dazzling breadth and depth of knowledge, this is it!

I think that this would be a good forum to have, but I'm not being objective about it. My brother's SO's 13 year old son saw me in one of my UKs, and now he wants a kilt. His mother is supportive of this, and has even offered to make him one. Now, I know there are going to be a lot of questions, and I personally don't feel qualified to answer all of them (especially those involving kilt-making). She is the kind of person who would find a forum of this kind very helpful, and she's the kind of person who would appreciate that help.

That's my two cents.

[KiltedCodeWarrior]

One problem I see with the suggestion is that the "others" are not likely to be totally honest with their concerns in a forum that the kilt-wearer is likely to be following as well, especially if it is a "significant other." Also, delicate or emotionally volitile subjects are liable to turn into huge domestic blow-ups when the poster starts feeling ganged up on by the kilt-wearers who will inevitably join in on the thread.

Iolaus, I have to agree whole heartedly. I have thought about directing my wife to this forum, but I have concerns. They may not be valid, but I worry somewhat about her reading posts I will make in the future, and also about posts I have already made that she might read. I am not sure why, because I don't think I said anything that I would not say to her in person, nor in a way that is inconsistent with who I am. Maybe it is just the fact that our SO would be reading our posts that would inhibit some of us.