FYI Avoid Haggis attacks

[TORSCOT7007]

Where else but here would you find just the right answer's to the old questions, of how to make Haggis, a safer food source?

[ardchoille]

TOP 11 WAYS TO AVOID HAGGIS ATTACKS
1) Avoid dark alleys that smell like rolled oats.
2) Stay away from sporran makers, there may be free range haggis kept on site.
3) Never cover your entire body in egg yolks, then roll around in rolled oats.
4) Do not play “Cher’s Greatest Hits” on your boom box. This music has been known to make weasels turn evil, and may have a similar effect on haggis.
5) Always carry ten to twelve angry cats with you wherever you go.
6) Never wear a full-face haggis sporran on Scottish hill sides. It might be a relative.
7) Haggis generally don’t like the smell of sheep poop. So, as a precaution, it’s probably a good idea to roll around in sheep poop as often as possible.
8) Do not dress entirely in red clothing. You might be mistaken for a giant apple, which most haggis consider to be a delicious treat. Instead, whenever possible, dress up like a giant plate of sauerkraut (which many haggis find unappetizing).
9) If you are attacked by a haggis, curl up into a ball and lie motionless on the ground. Most haggis don’t live past the age of three, so be patient. Chances are you will outlive them.
10) If a haggis is chasing you, climb up a tree and hang onto one of the branches. But be forewarned: if the haggis waves at you, DO NOT WAVE BACK (it’s an old haggis trick which might make you fall out of the tree).
11) If you are chased by a haggis clockwise around a hill, quickly turn and run counter-clockwise. The Great Wooly Mountain haggis have longer legs on their left side. By running the “wrong” way around a hill the haggis might topple over.

Thanks, I needed that today

[David Dalglish]

I am a member of the Haggis protection Society. We dont like Haggis belittled in this way, haggis are a very gentle creatures & would never chase anyone, on the contrary, they are very aprochable & that is why so many are caught every year & devoured with neeps & tatties. please if you come across one when you are in Scotland, treat it with a little respect, as the highlands would never be the same, if they ever became extinct. Sorry for the lecture, but I feel strongly about this.

A Haggis lover.

[Dirk Skene]

I am a member of the Haggis protection Society. We dont like Haggis belittled in this way, .....

O'man! this reminds me. One day I was downtown going to dinner, kilted of course From across the street this guy yells out to me "Save the Haggis." WE both waved & laughed

[James MacMillan]

OK - - -

[QUOTE=Dirk Skene;420712] "Save the Haggis." [QUOTE]


But - What for?

...

[Dirk Skene]

OK - - - ...But - What for?

ooooo Dalglish is gonna hurt 'cha for that one

[Ruanaidh]

Is the plural haggi or haggis' ?

Haggis is both sigular and plural but they're pronounced diffently. One haggis (HAG-us), two haggis (HAG-eyes).

[ccga3359]

I am a member of the Haggis protection Society. We dont like Haggis belittled in this way, haggis are a very gentle creatures & would never chase anyone, on the contrary, they are very aprochable & that is why so many are caught every year & devoured with neeps & tatties. please if you come across one when you are in Scotland, treat it with a little respect, as the highlands would never be the same, if they ever became extinct. Sorry for the lecture, but I feel strongly about this.

A Haggis lover.

Then Sir, why do you have the hide of your beloved ( ) haggis strapped to your waist? Does your organization really turn a blind eye to sporran production or do they profit? Anyhoo, this is getting political and rather than having a valuable PSA closed please heed his warning!

[Frank McGrath]

Isn't the Haggis part of Genus Nauga?

[Warhoover]

Isn't the Haggis part of Genus Nauga?

oooo I haven't been Naugie hunting in years!!!! Not the timid Northern variety I am talking the vicious and highly dangerous Southern variety!