I apologize if this is innap, I need to release steam

[JamieKerr]

Moderators and forum members. I sincerely apologize for my inappropriate language. I posted this somewhere else as well, and I was sure that I'd edited all of the crude language out. I know the rules, I simply failed to edit properly. My sincerest apologies for any disrespect.

[ccga3359]

First off welcome. Yeah sounds like you had a bad day. You'll find there are a few ignorrant people out there. Fortunatly there are far, far more people receptive of kilts. There are a few full-time kilties on this forum that wear kilts at work, you'll also find those that have been told by management that they cannot wear kilts, again ignorance but kilts are a cultural item and not a religious requirement. You will also read on these pages their personal battles for that, the tactics, politics and arguements. The sucessful and the not quite so.

One thing you mention raises a concern though;

I'm what my friends describe as bi-gendered. Basically, I don't believe in traditional male roles or stereotyped dress. If I want to do something or wear something, I'll do what I like. Though, I will state, I do it with style and taste. That being said, I understand some people have a problem with it.

Perhaps I'm reading more than what you wrote and if so I appologize. Do you see a kilt as a form of cross dressing? We have many a member here that are gay but they see kilts as nothing less than a what they are; a man's garment. We are proud of our kilts, we feel "the power of the kilt". We make the lasses swoon and their gentlemen jealous. And we all have had to deal with and hopefully educate, both men and women that see a kilt as a skirt.

I feel for you that you had a bad day. I also hope it will be an exception rather than the norm. There is a wealth of information here on the forum and from it's members. I hope you'll fell at home here.

[McMurdo]

Apart from what has been said above, I would also like to ask how long have you been wearing the kilt? I have found that the more I wear the kilt the more positive comments I get. If you are relatively new to kilt wearing I am sure you will find this out for yourself as well.

It really is unfortunate that you have to go through this, however it may be the best thing that can happen, as now you may have the opportunity to dispel any fears of your showing up to work in a skirt. As others have said looking as proper and professional as possible will help, if you are new to kilting you may want to look at the style threads particularly the Dressy Photos thread found here


Best of luck with it, and

[JamieKerr]

Apart from what has been said above, I would also like to ask how long have you been wearing the kilt? I have found that the more I wear the kilt the more positive comments I get. If you are relatively new to kilt wearing I am sure you will find this out for yourself as well.

It really is unfortunate that you have to go through this, however it may be the best thing that can happen, as now you may have the opportunity to dispel any fears of your showing up to work in a skirt. As others have said looking as proper and professional as possible will help, if you are new to kilting you may want to look at the style threads particularly the Dressy Photos thread found here


Best of luck with it, and

I've been wearing my kilts for 4 years now. My first kilts were made by myself. Many people have seen me in skirts before. I am used to hearing comments when in such attire. Heck, I've even worn skirts to work before!!! Yet this is the first time I've heard such a horrible remark in regards to ANY of my choices in dress. I think that in itself is what offends me so much. I was picked out of the crowd not for wearing one of my many truly odd outfits, but for one which I was wearing in honor of my family.

[Dalmore]

Jamie, is it possible that people you work with don't see your kilt as any different than the skirts you have said you've worn to work before?

It's pretty clear what a yamulke and a cross signify to almost anyone in the world. A kilt on the other hand can mean a lot of things to the uneducated or ignorant. Some people don't see a kilt any differently than a woman's skirt. Some won't see your heritage or culture when you wear it but something else entirely. We have the benefit of forums like this and a desire to educate ourselves about kilts but some people don't know anything about kilts, sporrans, etc.

As was said before, they may also be singling you out for their own reasons. Nothing surprises me about the workplace, the drama can rival most daytime soaps. Betrayal by co-workers hurts even worse- been there, done that. Just don't jeopardize your job to wear your kilt at work...you've got the other 16 hours a day and weekends to wear it.

Hang tough. Hope things work out for you.

[Chef]

Basically, I don't believe in traditional male roles or stereotyped dress. If I want to do something or wear something, I'll do what I like. Though, I will state, I do it with style and taste. That being said, I understand some people have a problem with it.

Many people have seen me in skirts before. I am used to hearing comments when in such attire. Heck, I've even worn skirts to work before!!!

Jamie I must be honest with you. I sympathise with your situation but I don't honestly think this has anything to do with your kilt. Yes you were wearing a kilt when this was said but I think that is irrelevant. I think the comments are about your choices of attire in general.

I certainly agree that a proper kilt is a man's garment, but in the context of your other choices I think they are seen as just another skirt. Incorrectly of course, but probably understandable. I know you are wearing your kilt to honour your heritage but I think that is being lost because of your other choices.

[JamieKerr]

I apologize for my poor wording. What I meant to state was that if I can't express my heritage or ethnicity, then why should a Jewish individual at the agency be allowed to wear a Yamaka, or a Christian Chaplain wear a crucifix. That remark was not intended to be against religion, those were just the two most tangible examples I could think of someone else's beliefs being stamped out.

[ccga3359]

I apologize for my poor wording. What I meant to state was that if I can't express my heritage or ethnicity, then why should a Jewish individual at the agency be allowed to wear a Yamaka, or a Christian Chaplain wear a crucifix. That remark was not intended to be against religion, those were just the two most tangible examples I could think of someone else's beliefs being stamped out.

Oops, I read that as being company policy . Depending where in WNY you are we meet monthly or so for kilt night (so far always in Canada). If you do a search for SOKS (Southern Ontario Kilt Society) you'll see where we are next meeting and you're more than welcome to join your fellow kilted brethren. Our next get-together is in Grimsby Ontario, February 28th which is about 30 minutes from Niagara Falls.

[JamieKerr]

I live in Westfield NY, but I'm in Buffalo all the time. That's most definitely not far from me!

[Riverkilt]

Hey, I'm a State Licensed Professional Counselor and have "been there, done that" with my agency. Long stories and long threads. I got lucky and "won" after two setbacks.

Some thoughts.

Find out your agency policy on diversity...not what they do, but what they say. Should be in the agency policy manual or even on the wall somewhere in poster form. Likely your agency officially supports diversity. The concept of how one's ethnicity can possibly insult another person's ethnicity baffles me.

Go to http://tartans.byair.net/ click on K, then scroll down to Kerr and pick your favorite Kerr tartan and make it your desktop on your computer at work.

During the time I was "banned" from wearing kilts to work I wore tartan pants and tartan shirts. Orvis and L.L. Bean are your friends, plus whatever you may already have in your wardrobe.

I've also found and hung pictures of kilted Scots in my office.

I'm quite amazed that some agency somewhere is trying to so tightly control a social worker...us therapist types are usually given great leeway in our "style." You might wish to consider other agencies and use your Kerr/Viking courage to interview kilted.

To gain my "freedom of kilt" it came to me having to file a grievance - a poor choice of words - it was more of an appeal. In my agency I only had three days to do that so I was lucky I asked right away (hint hint).

What was fun was when I asked the Human Resources Department if I had any method of appeal the lady couldn't hand me the form fast enough. Its a step by step process at my agency. My clinical supervisor passed it directly on to the CEO who changed his "no kilts" edict rather than having me take it to the next step - a committee of the board of directors.

And, if your agency is receiving any Federal funding they're on extremely thin ice to squash cultural diversity. Its even more severe in that your ancestors were once banned from wearing the kilt over 200 years ago...they are replicating historic oppression. Try that with the Native American, Black or Hispanic culture and they'd be sued until they bled.

And there have been some successful threats to sue by attorneys who are members of clans. Wouldn't doubt that you may find some support from your local St. Andrew's type society.

Often, polite education is the key. Also look for coworkers who have Scottish names, if there are any. See what they feel about it.

Stay polite, stay cooperative, but don't give up. Persevere.

Ron