Aviation Humor

[The Wizard of BC]

There I was, "And this is no s**t", on approach to a strange airport. It is pitch black outside. There is fog. There is wind and rain. My co-pilot is sweating buckets.

We are buffeted by micro-bursts as we head in for the hairiest landing I have ever made.

The lights of the runway come into view just as we cross the threshold and I am able to set her down in a landing that required me to stand on the brakes just to get her stopped before going off the other end.

As I shut down the engines and our nerves calm a bit I look over at a pale co-pilot and say, "Did you see that Bob. I got her down and we're all still alive. But that had to be the shortest runway I have ever seen."

And Bob replies, "Yea, it sure was short. But did you see how wide that thing was?"

[Freelancer]

Very enjoyable post!

[Southern Breeze]

I heard this from one of my friends who is currently in the navy.

"The Six Most Dangerous Things On An Aircraft Carrier"
1.) A Seaman saying, "I learned this in Boot Camp..."
2.) A Petty Officer saying, "Trust me, sir..."
3.) A Lieutenant JG saying, "Based on my experience..."
4.) A Lieutenant saying, "I was just thinking..."
5.) A Chief chuckling, "Watch this ...****..."
6.) A Pilot on his first deployment saying "I know what I'm doing"

[Standard]

Those were great. A friend of mine is a pilot whom I've flown with plenty of times. I just have to show these to him. I'm sure he will get as big a laugh out of these as I did.

[Birddog]

I've read these years ago, but it was sure fun reading them again! Makes me miss my flying days. And never forget: Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing; any landing you can walk away from, and the aircraft can fly again, is a great landing!

In the Marines, we always said that the deadliest weapon in the Marine Corps inventory was a second leutenant with a compass!

[Tetley]

A true story.When I was a lad at school we had a Battle of Britain pilot come to talk to us all. He told us a story of how he had Fokkers to the left shooting at him,Fokkers behind shooting at him,Fokkers above,Fokkers below,Fokkers everywhere!He escaped them by flying into the clouds.We of course were trying not to laugh at all this and of course it all ended in uproar!The headmistress,a very straight laced lady,tried to explain that a Fokker was a type of fighter plane, to which there was even more laughter. The killing line,though, came from the pilot "ah yes" said he," the trouble was that these Fokkers were Messerschmitts!" ,to which the whole school collapsed with laughter and made even funnier by the headmistress storming out! The pilot's name was Douglas Bader.

Having been primed by all the prior posts this one just wiped me out. I've been chuckling for the last five minutes and I keep on having to wipe the tears out of my eyes as I burst out laughing again.

This is a great thread, thanks everyone.

[Carolina Kiltman]

I just flew a Piedmont shuttle from BWI to Philly and back. The DeHavilland said Piedmont right on the side.

Interesting, I wonder if one of the independent feeder lines kept the name. US Airways was, as I recall, a merger between Alllegheny and Piedmont. One of my daughters-in-law is a flight attendant, first on Piedmont, then on US Air after the merger. She has nearly 30 years seniority. Maybe a feeder line started up and revived the name? What were the colours?

[ardchoille]

I know next to nothing about aviation, but I almost fell out of my chair laughing at those. Thanks for sharing.