Nightawk and his IDIOT cousin

[Riverkilt]

My guess is he'll soon be in jail for a while...and if he doesn't get treatment while in jail he'll be doing some court ordered treatment for sure.

I get a bunch of locals who get DUIs in Colorado and they wind up court ordered to hundreds of hours of alcohol treatment. Guessing he'll be charged with aggravated DUI what with the property damage. If the first one wasn't long ago, and he's pretty much done the same thing again, he may even be doing a prison stretch. They have good DUI treatment in DUI prison's too.

Point is, you may not have to do much. All states are tough on DUI drivers and Colorado is one of the toughest. And - times like this are when an alcoholic is most open to help. If you do have contact with him encourage him to open the white pages of his phone book, look up the number for AA, and call.

And, as suggested, Al-Anon for you and the rest of the family...folks there will understand what you're dealing with and have some great suggestions.

Ron

[Nighthawk]

My guess is he'll soon be in jail for a while...and if he doesn't get treatment while in jail he'll be doing some court ordered treatment for sure.

I get a bunch of locals who get DUIs in Colorado and they wind up court ordered to hundreds of hours of alcohol treatment. Guessing he'll be charged with aggravated DUI what with the property damage. If the first one wasn't long ago, and he's pretty much done the same thing again, he may even be doing a prison stretch. They have good DUI treatment in DUI prison's too.

Point is, you may not have to do much. All states are tough on DUI drivers and Colorado is one of the toughest. And - times like this are when an alcoholic is most open to help. If you do have contact with him encourage him to open the white pages of his phone book, look up the number for AA, and call.

And, as suggested, Al-Anon for you and the rest of the family...folks there will understand what you're dealing with and have some great suggestions.

Ron

You know- I should have just sent you a PM in the first place. I know you deal with this kind of thing. I was just upset and venting. Thanks, Ron. It's good to know that Colorado is one of the toughest states on DUI's. It makes me love this state all the more.

[gilmore]

My aunt was saying tonight that she's going to look into it. The problem as she sees it is that my cousin refuses to see that there's anything wrong.

EDIT: It has just occured to me that I can look into it, too. I live over an hour away, but maybe I can do something. I don't know. I've seen this coming for a while.



...

Right, the focus of Al-Anon is on helping relatives and loved ones of alcoholics help themselves rather than on how to help the alcoholic in their lives.

[Bugbear]

Ya, Nighthawk, you're being affected by this too, so you could at least attend something like that until they find their new place. Kind of have to agree that the best place for your cousin, for his and everyone else's good, is away from the rest of society for a while, however that takes place. He can probably only think about drinking at this point.

[The Barry]

I'm sorry to hear that you have to go through this.

Hopefully you and your family (idiot included) make it through the other side stronger for it.

[Pleater]

Do encourage the getting on with life by others affected by the drinking.

I'm remembering a family who put everything else aside to help one of the children, and lost everything, both financially and personally - and their sacrifice came to nothing as their daughter died an alcoholic. The other children are still estranged from their parents.

I can't remember where I heard the advice, but it rings true, that a drinker needs to hit rock bottom before they will admit to needing to change, and helping them stay afloat is delaying that first step in their recovery.

Anne the Pleater

[randal]

It sounds like you and your family is doing what is necessary to move forward in life. Let's hope that your cousin has finally hit the bottom AND he realizes it. All the help in the world won't be enough if he isn't willing to accept that there is something wrong.

[Bugbear]

Do encourage the getting on with life by others affected by the drinking.

I'm remembering a family who put everything else aside to help one of the children, and lost everything, both financially and personally - and their sacrifice came to nothing as their daughter died an alcoholic. The other children are still estranged from their parents.

I can't remember where I heard the advice, but it rings true, that a drinker needs to hit rock bottom before they will admit to needing to change, and helping them stay afloat is delaying that first step in their recovery.

Anne the Pleater

It's true, I've seen it many times.

[Riverkilt]

Sorry to disagree with Anne and Ted. I "are" a drunk and have been employed in the "fixing drunks" industry and volunteered and worked in "drunk prisons and jails" for many years.

If we let the drunks we love "hit bottom" far too many are gonna die while we wait for a "true bottom." I would submit that two DUIs with property damage is a pretty good bottom already.

AA's 12th Step and the entire treatment industry, Employee Assistance Profession, and substance abuse counseling are built on the concept of intervention before death or a bottom occurs.

Most normal people have never been to counseling or a support meeting. Drunks have no clue such help exisits. Most never find the support on their own. They get a "nudge from the judge" or Child Protective Services when their kids are taken away for abuse or neglect.

Booze kills 85 to 100,000 Americans every year. It kills 9,000 a year in the U.K. Far more than the firearms we don't talk about on this forum. Most "experts" say that 19 out of 20 alcoholics die drunk. And of course alcoholism brings multi-generational chaos to families - particularly the children. Alcoholism is a family disease as you're sadly finding out.

And yes, yes, yes, I know there are legions of social drinkers out there who enjoy alcohol in moderation. A quick check on your own drinking habits is the AMA feels that drinking more than four drinks in one setting is binge drinking for men. More than three drinks in one sitting for women.

Anyone who wonders if they have a problem can Google for "Drinker's Checkup" and find a number of little checklists....which are another form of intervention before hitting bottom.

Too often the bottom is death...then folks wonder why no one intervened...

Ron

[Bugbear]

Sorry, Ron, that's not exactly what I ment, but I see what you are talking about now. I was thinking about people losing everything they have trying to pay for a drinker's problems. Which it seems kind of like what is going on with, Nighthawk's cousin's parents. Get um in treatment; you're right.