XMTS Poet Laureate Rhyming Challenge

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

Does the garment enhance the statement made
When Roosters decide to Swan, nay parade,
And Cock up their Beavers with rakish tilt
To be confronted by the manly kilt?
Crow they might, or like the Peacock screeches,
No Dove will admire men bound in breeches.

[Barry]

Why Sir, this rhyme to me it gives the bird
And cocks and beavers too are quite absurd
To bring to us fine wool and not be rude
Perhaps the sheep we now must needs include
And thus with thread and yarn of wondrous hues
Fine kilts produce for folks like us to use

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

Sirrah, I prithee, think again,
For sheep are always kept by men.
While true their fleece is wonderous fine
Likewise they're kept that we might dine.
But cause they not our hearts to love
As such is done by soaring Dove.

From yon fair tree the Dove to charm
A Man needs more than mighty arm.
Colours bright all the Doves can see
Will call out magpie tendency.
And 'round your kilt they'll bill and coo
Unlike the sheep who finish in a stew.

[Panache]

Shorn is the wool from fleecy bleating ewes
To be spun into thread and dyed bright hues
Set into the looms with care is the thread
Deftly the weaver does the pattern embed
Finished is the tartan cloth that does speak
Of many things in its design unique

[Barry]

But how many kilts are good for us to own?
One cannot manage with one kilt alone
A tank for Winter or for Sunday best
A Utilikilt we must put to the test
Plaid colours are but there for us to see
My collection has increased to twenty three

Thereon I find I must accessorize
Though down that route some madness lies
Ten sporrans and a Skian Dubh
A few more kilts: that’s thirty two.
I’ve sold my dog and even pawned my wife
To maintain me in this kilted life

[Peter C.]

It would seem that as Scottish blood dilutes,
The addiction to kilts becomes acute.
So people away from Scotlands shore
Feel the need to own more and more
While the men of pure blood in Scotland still,
Don't need their wardrobes with kilts to fill.

Peter

[Big Mikey]

My belly's full and wrapped in kilt
And no Guinness have I spilt
Now bring me pudding and Earl Grey tea
As I loosen my straps a hole or three
I sit and ponder, trying to think
How without washing, do my kilts shrink?

[McClef]

But is it the kilt or human body
That changes size, t'is a fact quite shoddy
That feasts or diets can change size and shape
Affecting how a kilt doth some men drape.
So to prolong ones own kilted pleasure
Allow adjustment when made to measure!

[Rex_Tremende]

It’s funny how one never seems to find
a kilt that shrinks in length – just one’s behind.
Why, just the other day those buckles met,
when once you ate that pie with no regret!
Why is it always such a riddle, men,
Your middle now is not as little when?

[The F-H.C.A.G.]

While middles of older men may grow wide
Those of young boys are not made to abide
When making a kilt for one of young years
Be certain that soon he'll bring you to tears
When alterations are so soon required
In seam ripping you'll often be mired