Hilarious. Amazing how many of those words have only changed a little and are still used in the Ozarks. Not so much now as a few years ago, but certainly enough to trace Scots heritage.
Ha'e nae bairn ta hoos. groon an away.
An Alba lass comes into the store once a week. We have fun watching everyone else scratch there heids. After one of the visits, I left my piping tutor book out. My co-workers took only a quick look in real confusion---- I have a copy that is written in the Gaidhlig.
Nice one Alex. It is a lot of years since I had a "double nugget" or even seen one. Embra just doesn't do stoaters like that! And of course in Glesga a Hindu is the last pigeon back in the race. I heard a politician referring to one party's votes disappearing "like snaw aff a dyke" the other day which would have puzzled our southern neighbours listening. Here's a few more -
clabber
cuddy
scaffy
wheech
wallies
tumshie
stookie
stoater
shilpit
In Glesga if you've kilt someone you haven't dressed them in a kilt, they're deid (brown bread)
and my favourite - "a bowly leggit wee nyaff"
........ I could go on
[QUOTE=cessna152towser;738488]Are you Scottish? I am............ You know you are a true Scot if.............
Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
Ye kin faw aboot pished withoot spilling yer drink.
Ye measure distance in minutes.
Ye kin mak hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
Or if you only include these four, you could be a Texan.
No way to qualify for me. 
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