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[Brian K]

You could always go to the school board. Not all of them are fronts for the administration. It's also a way of making a bit of a public fuss and following proper channels at the same time.By making a carefully reasoned appeal to the board you're also going to garner some media attention without having to make yourself look like a media whore who's doing it just for the attention.

The only remedy for ignorance is education and you've got some educating to do!

Good luck,

Brian

[Bludongle]

gawd.

this kind of silliness over a kilt when there are meatier issues like us gays just wanting go to prom together? or is he equating this to evil?

doesn't that principle have better targets to be ignorant over?

I agree with the aforementioned arguments from one on one to media involvement. take your steps. be polite. stand your ground. if not here then where?

glad you are man enough to question and man enough to use the proper channels to address your grievance. best of luck!

J
(ps: if you choose a writing campaign let us know.)

[csbdr]

Weeeelll...the other side of things here is with guys like this, pressing the issue often has the opposite effect. Rather than pusuaded, they are angered and defensive next about your confronting the issue further. They are not only mired in their ignorance, but afraid. Afraid of their staff, parents, upper admin, you name it. I don't know this guy but it sounds like you have already made well reasoned, thoughtful arguements and he has still come to a fairly ignorant conclusion and decision. I'm not saying don't give it a go, but it doesn't sound like this guy will ever have the open mindedness to give the green light.

[CDNSushi]

Hard to say what the right thing would be to do at this point... It's very individual. However I WILL say that this time of year the news affiliates froth at the mouth for "prom stories." From CNN on down to the local TV station, around prom time they love to cover stories about teens who have been banned from wearing this, that or the other from their prom.

The most recent ones I can think of are the girl in Georgia? Alabama? (I forgot) whose prom dress was too revealing, and she chose 3 days suspension from school and 17 other seniors chose "paddling" as a punishment...

Then there was the prom that was canceled to stop a lesbian couple from attending.

If this were called in to the media, they'd probably LOVE to have a story of their very own....

Just a thought.

Otherwise, how about a kilted entourage? Kilted limo driver, kilted bunch of "protesters" who, obviously would not be able to enter the event or be on school grounds, but would certainly make a big statement to teachers, attendees and passers-by.

Anyway, whatever you decide, thanks for keeping us updated with your situation and whatever happens, don't let this turn you off from dressing as you please elsewhere, on any other occasion. Your time in high school is almost over anyway.

[ForresterModern]

First, ask for a formally WRITTEN decision on the reasons why you are not being allowed to wear the kilt to the prom be delivered to you on School or Board of Education stationary, if necessary ask one or both of your parents to meet with the principal to acquire that document. If he provides it, compare it to any written documentation of school dress code present and available to the public, with specific attention to what is said about school sponsored events. Unless it specifically precludes the wearing of a "skirt" by a male student you should be good enough to have a case to take to the school board for their review, and again ask for a formal response. If they come up with another line of excuses as to why you should not be allowed to wear your kilt to the prom, try to attack each of their points individually, especially as they relate to the dress code and to personal civil liberties. Then go to the local press and ask them if they would like to print a human interest story.You might even make a phone call to your local ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) whose job it is to seek out and support instances where an individuals civil rights may be being violated, and discuss your case with them. They often will assign an attorney to a case for review purposes to see if their is legal basis for pushing a civil rights violation case into the courts. Often times just this sniffing around and question asking by the ACLU will get folks thinking twice about drawing a line in the sand about dress codes and personal freedoms, etc...

Obviously this is going "balls-to-the-wall" with your desires, and only you can weigh how important this is to you versus how much trouble it may cause for you, your school, and your principal, and what long term effects that trouble may have in relation to your education at this school----afterall, you still have to show up for school and go to classes and graduate for some significant time after prom (even if it is only a few weeks). So you would rather not have anybody important lose face over the whole issue.

And by the way, if you do decide to just wear a tux with as much tartan accessories as can wear, please let us know on this forum before you go out and buy stuff becasue I know I for one will be hapy to fund your needs in such a situation, as I am sure others on the forum would also support.

Good luck.

jeff

[RockyR]

What about asking students to sign a petition saying that they'd like to see you in a kilt at prom? Take that to the school board along with your letter to the principle and a transcript of his 'reasoning'.

[Strider]

Obviously this is going "balls-to-the-wall" with your desires, and only you can weigh how important this is to you versus how much trouble it may cause for you, your school, and your principal, and what long term effects that trouble may have in relation to your education at this school----afterall, you still have to show up for school and go to classes and graduate for some significant time after prom (even if it is only a few weeks). So you would rather not have anybody important lose face over the whole issue.

ForresterModern I would have to agree with you. For most people they rely on what people think when they hear their name. Which goes with losing face.

I just thought of something so please pardon a second post. If your principal is someone who is scared of losing face and possibly getting fired. The threat of the media could be big enough for him to change his mind. BUT as always be respectful. This will get you farther.

[Nighthawk]

Weeeelll...the other side of things here is with guys like this, pressing the issue often has the opposite effect. Rather than pusuaded, they are angered and defensive next about your confronting the issue further. They are not only mired in their ignorance, but afraid. Afraid of their staff, parents, upper admin, you name it. I don't know this guy but it sounds like you have already made well reasoned, thoughtful arguements and he has still come to a fairly ignorant conclusion and decision. I'm not saying don't give it a go, but it doesn't sound like this guy will ever have the open mindedness to give the green light.

You are very correct. That's exactly why Isaac needs to go above the principals head. The school board, the press- public schools are just that- public. He's a public official, and as such, works for the parents and students. One thing that people lose sight of is the fact that high school kids have the same civil rights as the rest of us. Schools do not have the right to search your bags without just cause any more than cops have the right to search my car without just cause. They do not have the right to limit your expression of heritage while allowing others to express theirs. They only think they have that right, and it's because no one fights back. If Isaac goes to the school board and makes a public issue out the principals prejudice, that will go a long way towards making things right. You said "They are not only mired in their ignorance..." That's not correct. Ignorance is a lack of education. Isaac has already education the principal, so it's not ignorance. It's stupidity. Ignorance is human nature. You are ignorant. I am ignorant. There is no way to ever not be ignorant. I don't speak Chinese, for example; I therefore am ignorant of the Chinese language. The principal has been educated about the history of Highland formal wear, been shown pictures, has been presented with reasonable arguments, and replied with "Nuh uh. I don't wanna" as his counter argument. That fits into the realm of stupidity, pure and simple, which is all that prejudice is- pure stupidity, a refusal to learn.I stopped tolerating stupid people a long time ago- especially the ones who use their authority to abuse people.

[ForresterModern]

Nighthawk

Although we have similar overall opinions of this situation I would suggest a bit of a change in language, or at least specification of the difference between ignorance and uneducated. To not know something is to be uneducated about it. To then be educated about it but not care (show indifference) is then being ignorant of its value and relevance. I believe that this principle is no longer uneducated about the kilt and its heritage and propriety for wearing to prom. He is uneducated about the civil liberties of Isaac and is ignorant of his rights as a human to dress as he sees fit and appropriate for this occasion. Lack of education is usually remediable with a little effort, while ignorance of the facts to which one was just educated is a active personality choice.

Ignorance is active indifference, it is a strong word, and quite offensive to many, especially when it is thrown in their direction. Uneducated or indifferent are softer ways to describe degrees of the same thing, with uneducated on one end (relatively innocent end), indifferent in the middle, and ignorant at the other (more malignant) end of the spectrum. Caution in using them is always best to keep from turning off your listener when attempting to educate or persuade someone.

j

[AFS1970]

The principal is clearly using what I like to call "I'm the Mommy, that's why" logic.

If you choose to further this fight above his head, check one thing out first. See if there is a level between him and the school board, like a superintendent. If so, go there first. You have been very responsible and done things the right way up until now, it would not do well to miss a step here and risk alienating a potential ally.

Also, understand that the wheels of government often turn slowly and this fight may not even be decided in time for your prom, so if you take this fight further, you may be fighting for the principal and your children's right to wear kilts to their proms more than your own. That in and of itself does not make the argument any more or less valid. Just be prepared.

Thinking back to my own prom, there was one student who wore much more formal wear than the rest of us, and he was a guy who was rarely seen out of t-shirt and jeans. He chose a coat with tails, a top hat and even had a cane. I was very noticeable, and yet at the same time, not disruptive at all. I remember him getting several compliments from the other guys at the prom.

As for the slippery slope, the principal and school district is probably already at least half way down that slope, because as so many have mentioned there are other cultures that are openly encouraged to wear cultural dress. If anything, it is this that has allowed your cultural dress to be an option.

While I am not a fan of compromise, I can see the value of the tartan tie and cummerbund. If it doesn't conflict to badly, may I also suggest a sash for your date? I think that would set the tone quite well.