Kilt and Funerals

[Spartan Tartan]

My condolences to you and your family.

Since they asked you to wear the kilt, I certainly would do so. Wear it with pride and respect (as you always would) and you should have nothing to worry about.

[TheNaughtyScot]

I think that muted colors would be best to match the attire of the other attendees. Flashy is inappropriate if you're not the one being married or buried.

[AN COIGREACH ALBANNACH]

hello DEACONB. As usual good sound advice from jockscot. this wee tale may help and make you understand how important your contribution to the funeral can be for the greiving family. when a second cousin of mine died last year from the scottish side i asked if they would like me to pipe at the funeral if i could get my pipes going(i had not played them for a while and knew it could possibly be difficult to get new reeds and tune them in, hence the uncertainty)i knew it could take a bit of prepping if my offer was taken up so before i went to all the effort i checked first. they said they would love it.worst fears realized i could not get them up to scratch in time, and as there was no way i wanted my pipes making the outlandish noises and the embarrasing cutting in and outs that ill tuned drones can cause i did not bring them.australia being the big place it is ,they lived far away and we don't see each other very much,and when news of the funeral reached us i had little notice.none of these factors seemed to matter however because when they realized i could not pipe they were not just dissapointed.i had the distinct feeling that they felt i had let them down.

i learnt not to offer what you're not 100% sure you can give.but i also realized just how much it had meant to them once i had made them think it was an option. so don't under estimate their request to you. wear the kilt because for families with scottish heritage living in lands far from 'home' a piper and or a kilt at a wedding or a funeral means a lot. i know.

[Lallans]

As you have been asked to wear the kilt by some of the family of the deceased you are on firm ground. I don't know ,how much kilt attire you have, but your tartan kilt, black polished shoes, day sporran, any colour hose(other than white), any colour flashes(we never wear black to funerals), tweed(any colour)day jacket, white shirt, black four in hand tie will do you fine and will fit the sad occassion perfectly.

Google Chief John MacLeod of MacLeod's funeral pictures for help------I might add that some mourners are wearing black silver buttoned argylls and that is fine-----they happened to be mostly Americans.

Thank you Sandy.

Jock, I was interested to read the "we never wear black to funerals" bit. Can you expand on that further- do I take it black garb was never a Scottish funeral custom or mourning practice? Black is not much seen here anymore, at least at the wakes and funerals of ordinary folks, but that's due to a near-total loss of formality and the tradition did exist before.

[Nighthawk]

It seems to me by the information you provided in your post that it would be disrespectful to deny this Scottish woman's loved ones one of their requests while fulfilling the other. It is the responsibility of everyone who attends to show respect for the wishes of the family.

Perfectly stated. This isn't exactly a poll, but I would vote for this response if it were.

[AN COIGREACH ALBANNACH]

not wanting to take anything away from this serious thread,but may i take this chance to ask jockscot what a four in the hand tie is? if i too could be more informed for the next funeral i attend in the kilt(not that it's something you wish for) i would be gratefull.when i piped at my grandmothers funeral a was wearing exactly what you advised earlier jockscot but i have never heard the term four in hand tie before and would love to know.thank you.

[Downunder Kilt]

not wanting to take anything away from this serious thread,but may i take this chance to ask jockscot what a four in the hand tie is? if i too could be more informed for the next funeral i attend in the kilt(not that it's something you wish for) i would be gratefull.when i piped at my grandmothers funeral a was wearing exactly what you advised earlier jockscot but i have never heard the term four in hand tie before and would love to know.thank you.

It's just a normal tie you see on most men wearing a business suit and it really refers to the knot, which I have always known as a schoolboy knot. It is basically 2 wraps of the wide side over the narrow side of the tie, up and through the yoke with the wide side and through the wraps you have made. Tends to make a longer, slimmer knot than that a half or full windsor

[AN COIGREACH ALBANNACH]

cheers down under kilt. thought that's what it could be but you've taken the guess work out of it.appreciate it.

[cessna152towser]

Jock, I was interested to read the "we never wear black to funerals" bit

I wondered about that as well. Jock may be speaking for the Highlands of Scotland where he lives, but in my home town in the Scottish Southern Uplands close to the English Border, black clothing is commonplace at funerals. Tartan kilts or all black kilts are acceptable funeral wear here although most male mourners will wear dark coloured trousers.

[DeaconB]

hello DEACONB. As usual good sound advice from jockscot. this wee tale may help and make you understand how important your contribution to the funeral can be for the greiving family. when a second cousin of mine died last year from the scottish side i asked if they would like me to pipe at the funeral if i could get my pipes going(i had not played them for a while and knew it could possibly be difficult to get new reeds and tune them in, hence the uncertainty)i knew it could take a bit of prepping if my offer was taken up so before i went to all the effort i checked first. they said they would love it.worst fears realized i could not get them up to scratch in time, and as there was no way i wanted my pipes making the outlandish noises and the embarrasing cutting in and outs that ill tuned drones can cause i did not bring them.australia being the big place it is ,they lived far away and we don't see each other very much,and when news of the funeral reached us i had little notice.none of these factors seemed to matter however because when they realized i could not pipe they were not just dissapointed.i had the distinct feeling that they felt i had let them down.

i learnt not to offer what you're not 100% sure you can give.but i also realized just how much it had meant to them once i had made them think it was an option. so don't under estimate their request to you. wear the kilt because for families with scottish heritage living in lands far from 'home' a piper and or a kilt at a wedding or a funeral means a lot. i know.

Thanks for that