New management

[Frank McGrath]

I will fight to the death to preserve my french fries.

[Tobus]

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat,
and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

Thank goodness! Though I am American through and through, I cannot fathom how or why so many of my countrymen ruin perfectly edible food by slathering their chips (or any other food, for that matter) with this horrid concoction known as catsup/ketchup. My mother introduced me to malt vinegar on my chips as a young boy, and my father introduced me to mayonnaise on my chips when we lived in Germany a few years later. With those two most excellent condiments available, why on earth would anyone smear sweetened tomato paste on their chips? The thought is just dreadful!

I would go so far as to recommend to Her Majesty that we abolish catsup entirely, and replace it poste-haste in every establishment with a suitable alternative of malt vinegar, mayonnaise, and HP sauce.

[MichaelPHahn]

Drac, I cannot believe you would post a suggestion that baseball should/could be replaced, since the Texas Rangers (Dallas/Fort Worth's professional baseball team) are doing so well in the playoffs. Then again, I seem to remember what happened to the last group that tried to take the guns and constitution away from Texans (and not coincidenatlly there was a piper playing in that fort to encourage all the Scotts-born freedom fighters).

[Grizzly]

A few other pointers that you chaps in the now re-established former colonies should take heed of -

The phrase "Hitting the sack" should be banned and henceforth referred too as "climbing the wooden hill to Bedfordshire"

Pinkies must be raised when sipping tea from the best china cup and saucers.

You must tug your forelock when greeting members of the Nobility (buy a copy of Debrettts Peerage to avoid unnecessary faux pas)

A fine suit of clothes should be reserved for Sunday Best.

Always walk on the roadside of Ladies when walking along a pavement so that any splashing of roadside detritus will not befoul a ladys garments.

Remember that we in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland have ears and can hear perfectly well, so no need to shout. (Texans take note)

Anyone referring the personage of Her Britannic Majestys subjects as Limeys will be incarcerated in the Tower and poked mercilessly with a pikestaff by The Yeoman Warders.

Learn the difference between a Beefeater and someone who frequents Ronald Mcdonalds

Walking on the cracks in the pavements will make you wet the bed.

The Cotswolds are not "quaint" they are picturesque and full of tourists. So best left to the locals.

When ordering a sandwich remember that we only have two types of bread, brown or white and only two types of fillings ham or cheese.

On no account should you greet a member of the Royal Family with a hearty backslap or a high five. Touching the Monarchy in anyway is strictly forbidden and you will no doubt be beheaded.

No doubt my fellow countrymen will remind you of more local customs that should now be reinstated forthwith if not sooner.

Finally Morris Dancing is highly regarded as is dancing round the Maypole and due gravitas should be afforded to these energetic pursuits.

PS things are a little bit financially tight over here at the moment so if you can see your way to paying the back taxes as Drac suggested that would be most welcome as we need the money to support the EU.

[artificer]

I will fight to the death to preserve my french fries.

You'll be fighting alone I'm with Tobus on this. Although I do think that Ketchup hides the horror that is most American fries. Perhaps it's some sort of evolutionary response to overcooked, too-thin fries?

Thank goodness! Though I am American through and through, I cannot fathom how or why so many of my countrymen ruin perfectly edible food by slathering their chips (or any other food, for that matter) with this horrid concoction known as catsup/ketchup. My mother introduced me to malt vinegar on my chips as a young boy, and my father introduced me to mayonnaise on my chips when we lived in Germany a few years later. With those two most excellent condiments available, why on earth would anyone smear sweetened tomato paste on their chips? The thought is just dreadful!

I would go so far as to recommend to Her Majesty that we abolish catsup entirely, and replace it poste-haste in every establishment with a suitable alternative of malt vinegar, mayonnaise, and HP sauce.

[Drac]

Thank goodness! Though I am American through and through, I cannot fathom how or why so many of my countrymen ruin perfectly edible food by slathering their chips (or any other food, for that matter) with this horrid concoction known as catsup/ketchup. My mother introduced me to malt vinegar on my chips as a young boy, and my father introduced me to mayonnaise on my chips when we lived in Germany a few years later. With those two most excellent condiments available, why on earth would anyone smear sweetened tomato paste on their chips? The thought is just dreadful!

I would go so far as to recommend to Her Majesty that we abolish catsup entirely, and replace it poste-haste in every establishment with a suitable alternative of malt vinegar, mayonnaise, and HP sauce.

You do know that salsa overtook ketchup a couple years agos as the number one condiment in the States?

Drac, I cannot believe you would post a suggestion that baseball should/could be replaced, since the Texas Rangers (Dallas/Fort Worth's professional baseball team) are doing so well in the playoffs.

Actually while the above is meant to be nothing more than funny I actually am not into any professional sport and really find baseball boring.

Jim

[starbkjrus]

You'll be fighting alone I'm with Tobus on this. Although I do think that Ketchup hides the horror that is most American fries. Perhaps it's some sort of evolutionary response to overcooked, too-thin fries?

***

[Tobus]

You do know that salsa overtook ketchup a couple years agos as the number one condiment in the States?

Speaking as Texans, I think you and I would probably agree that most "salsa" that is consumed in the US is a rather poor excuse for what we consider proper salsa. In my travels north of Texas, I found most establishments which served this "salsa" were actually serving a bowl of ketchup with onions and bell peppers in it. The horror!

While I do find a basket of freshly-made tortilla chips (err... crisps) and a bowl of authentic fresh spicy/peppery Tex-Mex salsa to be extremely comforting, I'm not sure I understand how it has surpassed ketchup as an everyday condiment. Considering the volume of french fries... I mean freedom fries... I mean chips consumed by Americans everyday, I find it very hard to believe that salsa has overtaken ketchup. And this doesn't even consider those boorish people who put it on their hamburgers, steaks, eggs, and Lord-knows-what-else! *shudder*

[Drac]

"New York City!?!?!?"

I see people use salsa on things like eggs and burgers down here. Aioli have also gotten real popular for pommes frites (my favorite way) these days pushing out ketchup.

And lets remember that in that States ketchup is only tomato based. I've seen quite a few other ketchups in my travels. Best I saw was a mushroom one.

Jim

[J_Mimbs]

I'll admit, as a Southern boy I was raised on ketchup from birth. I like it on my "chips", on a burger, and I put it on the occasional meatloaf, but I don't use it on everything like some of my brethren do. I have noticed though that it seems to be a bit regional. Many of my friends in Chicago hate ketchup passionately and in some parts of the country prepared mustard is the preferred condiment.