I just end up looking like I should be a waiter or should have a set of bagpipes.
Looking like you 'should have a set of bagpipes' isn't necessarily a bad thing! Professional/competitive pipers have been wearing kilts on a regular basis most of their lives- in most cases since they took up the pipes as youths- so they are experienced kiltwearers who know what they're about. They do tend to be conservative, favouring 8-yard handsewn heavyweight kilts, jackets tailored by leading Highland Outfitters, traditional sporran designs, etc.
Here are the competitors at the Glenfiddich competition, a collection of the world's best piping talent. You see charcoal grey tweed jackets, a lovat tweed jacket, some black jackets, traditional kilts, sporrans, and hose.. nothing in their dress that sets them apart from any other person wearing modern traditional Highland Dress
Proud Mountaineer from the Highlands of West Virginia; son of the Revolution and Civil War; first Europeans on the Guyandotte
My wife and I went on a cruise once. One night was black tie, and I failed to realise that you could rent formal wear on board, so I bought a dinner suit, aka tuxedo if you're American. I have worn it a few times since, but found very few occasions where I could.
I think that probably a black argyll jacket would be most appropriate for the greatest number of kilted formal occasions, although I have still yet to buy one. You'd also need an evening sporran of some kind. I have a white faux rabbit fur sporran which I bought as a first step, but I am still hesitant to shell out for an argyll. Rabbit fur sporrans are the cheapest kind you could wear, and some of them cost no more than a leather day sporran. Everything else needed would be already in my wardrobe, although I'd need a new pair of brogues.
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