And they call themselves men ...

[chasem]

...But don't call me sir, I work for a living. :rolleyes:


MrBill

I disagree with this one. I've had any number of people tell me not to call them sir, usually followed by "I'm not that old." I politely inform them that "sir" isn't a term I use for people older than me, but it is a word of respect. In that sense, I'll call anyone sir (or ma'am) just due to the fact that they are either male or female.

As well, I'll sometimes say that I call anyone "sir" who is superior to me in *some* way. Be that age, or position. I'm 21, and I call the 16 year old who serves me at that fast food restaurant "sir" simply because he is superior to me, in that he is the one serving my food.

In contrast, I will not call the millionaire "sir" who treats me like crap in some way.

"Sir" is a word of respect, not a status symbol or age indicator

[GlassMan]

I may be disabled and spend much of my time in a wheelchair but I do sometimes go out and only use my cane if it will be a short trip. I am constantly amazed at how people react.

On the Metro here in DC there are seats marked reserved for the handicapped and elderly yet the able bodied riders often take those seats and refuse to give them up to someone who needs them.

Once I was in my wheelchair and had boarded a Metro train. There was an elderly lady with a cane standing in the crowded car and several perfectly able men seated in the "handicapped or elderly" seats. The woman commented to me how even though she had some difficulty walking she was still happy that she wasn't in a wheelchair yet. I responded, slightly louder than needed, that I was actually happy to be in the chair because I brought my own chair with me on the train and didn't have to worry about inconsiderate individuals taking the seats reserved for the elderly and infirm. She laughed and the businessmen in the seats scowled at me. I know that was slightly rude of me, but I couldn't resist.

And I'll never stop being amazed at how many people just walk right into me when I'm out in public in my wheel chair. They're so absorbed in their cellphone conversations or the like that they just don't care about the people around them.

And don't even start me on the times I've been in my manual chair and trying to upon a standard door at a business while rolling myself in. It's incredibly difficult, especially if the spring setting is too tight on the door or the door is heavy, yet rarely do others offer to help. I was at one business and it was a single door for entry & exit. I was fighting the heavy wooden door and a slightly higher than necessary threshold and not winning. In all honesty I was stock. Another customer got behind me and was waiting to enter but not offering to help. Finally she asked me to hurry up or let her pass! I told her that it would be faster if she held the door for me. She replied that women don't hold the door for men; men hold the door for women.

The level of courtesy in this world has declined to a horrifying degree. I'm not sure who to blame but I wish I knew how to fix it.

[BLAZN]

people braying into cell phones as if the world needs to hear thier conversations, and then giving you dirty looks if you ask them to quiet down.

I had a lady at a movie theatre get peaved with me because I asked her to hang up on her celly call. I mean... what the hell is so important that youhave to yammer about it while 20 or 30 other people are trying to watch a movie? Granted, the movie was Madagascar, which was completely horrible, but that's beside the point.

Excuse the SciFi, but I wish I could carry a pocket EMP gun. Then I could "blast" every driver I pass that has one hand on a cell phone and the other somewhere besides on the steering wheel.

[Schultz]

I always call everyone "sir" or "madam". I can't help it.

And, Phil, I'm just flabbergasted that that woman at the door said that to you.

[dilrule]

Being in my early 40's I'm never sure which generation I fit into but I was raised to be polite. Always hold the door, offer a seat to a lady and say Thank You and Please as much as possible. There's no harm in doing any of that, kilted or not. I guess to me it's all just a part of being civil to the people around me. So, thank you for giving up your seat - it's a gentlemen's thing to do.

i also was raised polite everyone looks at me strange :confused: well w/e i guess theres still a few good men out there

[Mattg]

I hold the door, give up my seat, and other curtious things because that's the way I was raised. My parents taught me to do that. If left to myself I would not be that way. The thing is today's generation is being left to themselves to "find their individuality" Well, unfortunelty that is usually selfishness. Today's generation has been left to discover how selfish they (or I should say "we", I'm only 21) can be. This generation is all about being ourselves and expression, things like that, but not a whole lot about others. It's sad.

[TheSp8]

Respect and general good manners seem to be declining throughout our society as a whole. It seems to be yet another result of the cultural revolution in the 1960s. That being said, my parents who lived through them pounded manners into me as a requirement of the extended family's expectations and necessary to be a gentleman. My own son, now 19, was raised the same. He has taken more grief for behaving politely than I have though we have both had females fuss at us. The general position we have taken is to treat every female like a lady until she proves otherwise.

Sir/Ma'am is a term of respect, I agree. Being a somewhat cranky Sr NCO in the Army I have had to learn to be polite and proper to those who may not merit it. Sir/Ma'am is reserved for those who I truly respect. Others get called by their rank and name. Respect comes hard from soldiers of all ranks and is not given lightly. As a side note, according to the EO types we have, the old saying "don't call me sir, I work for a living" is not allowed now. Evidently it offends officers by implying that they don't work as hard as the NCOs.

YMOS,
Tony

[Panache]

I find this thread interesting. We, as gentlemen who have decided to adopt kilts into our repetoire of dress, all take great care in our outward appearance. We also realize that our behavior is a great part of that appearance. We look good in our kilts (or cilts) because of the confidence and... well panache we project while wearing them. As kilts are a fashion survivor of an early time that we promote, so too our manners hail back to perhaps a more polite world we would like to return to.

I salute all the gentlemen and ladies of X-Marks. I remind you that the mark of a true gentleman and lady is to lead by example. To point out other's lack of good manners is also bad manners. If you ever feel you are the only one doing the right thing I leave you with this small story.


A man and a boy were walking on the beach. The boy saw a starfish that had washed ashore. He picked it up and said "I'd better put it back in the ocean or it will die". The man looked at the boy and said "every day thousands of starfish wash up on thousands of beaches. They dry in the sun and die. You could spend your entire life running up and down the beaches of the world throwing starfish back into the sea and still thousands of starfish would die. That's the way things are. You can't really make a difference." The boy thought about what the man had said and looked at the starfish in his hand. With a graceful throw he cast the starfish back into the sea. The boy turned o the man and said "I made a difference to that one".


Cheers

[Mr. Kilt]

I was raised to be polite. I hold doors open for everyone, not just women. I say "please" and "thank you". I put the seat (and lid) down. I offer assistance to people who appear to need it. This is just how I am on a day to day basis.

The biggest pile of abuse I've ever suffered personally as a bus driver came from a well-dressed business woman in her 40's. She was concerned about something, and I happened to call her "ma'am". (I use "sir" or "Ma'am" to address ALL my passengers.) Well, you'd think I'd called her the devil!! The abuse that spilled from that woman's mouth would make a biker blush! I could not believe what I was hearing. All because I had the audacity to be polite to her.

[sorcererdale]

I am that way too, wouldn't even think of not being polite. A guess it is good to know that manners and politeness is still alive. At least we can show others what it is like, and being kilted too, that will help people remember it, I hope!

DALE