What would you do if your mother asked you?

**Pour1Malt** · 3rd March 07, 11:13 AM

lovely wee bairn there...

guid oan ya...

granma is probably just messin' wi' you, ya ken...

but if she is serious ya need tae have a serious talk wi' her aboot raisin' yur bairn....

does she want ya tae have a cookie cutter- no spine- no pride child?

ai thoucht noucht....

slainte

**Fearnest** · 3rd March 07, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by jordanjm

I am still waiting to get my Kilt, but she has already said that "If I want to make a fool of myself that's one thing, but I should not force my son to be a fool."

BTW my wife really likes how he looks in the Kilt.

Shows that taste in fashion is apparantly not an inherited trait!

**starbkjrus** · 3rd March 07, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by Dreadbelly

I'd tell her that a gramma that can't respect heritage is never going to see her grandchild ever again.

In baby talk.

And I'd probably tell the old bat to STHU. But I don't recommend that you do this.

I do know what I would have done though. First words out of her mouth I would have escorted her to the door and told her to get the hell out, and don't come back till you get some respect for your own flesh and blood.

I've probably had too many family encounters (not about the kilt) that I am jaded. What I would do is be a bit more forceful than Dread (above). She would be told in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that she would change her tone or she would no longer be allowed to see her grandchild. You have a MAJOR issue here with a MIL who is going to try to rule your life. Deal with her NOW. If you don't (and especially if your wife plays along) you are going to be miserable and your life will be dictated by this er....person. Fix her or get rid of her before she ruins your marriage!

**cessna152towser** · 3rd March 07, 04:18 PM

Cute little kid; shame about the Mother-in-Law's ignorance.

**pipesndrumsnun** · 3rd March 07, 04:38 PM

What a cutie!!

**RockyR** · 3rd March 07, 05:32 PM

Ever see the show "Everybody Loves Raymond"? The mother in that show comes to mind.

I believe that discretion is the better part of valor. Since your wife would be seen as "neutral" in this (she's not the one in the kilt), I'd probably have HER take her mother (your MIL) aside and sit her down for "the talk". It's really more your WIFE'S place to "scold" her mother than it is yours.

Your wife should sit her down and let her mom know that NEITHER of you are comfortable with that kind of talk around the baby. You'd like to raise your child with an appreciation for different cultures and if she has negative things to say about it, she should speak to you or your wife directly and not address it with the child, even in a playful / teasing manner. While her occasional input (DIRECTLY TO YOU) is appreciated when requested, it is not expected and it was not requested in this case. Also, your wife should remind her of a very basic fact that may be VERY hard for her to swallow... while it is your MIL's Grandson, it's your SON and YOU will raise them with YOUR values, not THEIRS.

**RockyR** · 3rd March 07, 05:35 PM

BTW... please keep in mind that I can only give a "rational" response b/c I'm removed from the situation. If my MIL tried to tell me how to raise my kid or criticized the way I was doing it TO THE CHILD, I'd calmly ask her to speak to me outside, IMMEDIATELY and then explain to her that it was NOT ACCEPTABLE and that if I EVER heard that again, we'd immediately leave the party / visit / premesis with the child. But since I'm not you, I can speak calmly.

**Caradoc** · 3rd March 07, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by jordanjm

My wife's mother when she sees him in it starts doing baby talk to the effect of I'm so sorry they keep putting you in a skirt, and blah blah blah about how he's a boy and should not be in a skirt.

The case is hopeless. Your wife's mother is a clueless twit and is beyond help.

**jordanjm** · 3rd March 07, 09:41 PM

Thanks, for all of the suggestions. The main ideas I have found so far are:

1. Disassociate from the negative
2. Be firm about not taking the cut downs.
3. Invite her to various activities where people other than just my family will be wearing kilts.
4. Teach the kids to love her.
5. Her issue with me, and my son wearing kilts is just a piece of a larger problem.

**Panache** · 3rd March 07, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by jordanjm

Thanks, for all of the suggestions. The main ideas I have found so far are:

1. Disassociate from the negative
2. Be firm about not taking the cut downs.
3. Invite her to various activities where people other than just my family will be wearing kilts.
4. Teach the kids to love her.
5. Her issue with me, and my son wearing kilts is just a piece of a larger problem.

jordanjm,

You may be new to the forum but you are certainly wise.

Good luck!

Cheers

Panache