How would you respond?

[Bugbear]

Tommie, I do feel for you on having lost a long term friend. It seems that he put his fear of others above his care for you. I don't know the situation, but I hope for your friend to change in a way that you two can be friends again. Sometimes people have been told and trained to hate and fear for the sake of love and care. Intent does matter in friendship and interacting with others, so I try to ask, is this out of fear or un-knowing, hate, or concern. Or if your own feelings, am I feeling this out of fear for my own safety or comfort, or am I feeling this because I have been told and trained all my life to feel this...?
Best of wishes, Tommie.

[Tartan Hiker]

Let's all remember that this board includes everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, who enjoys wearing kilts. Please consider the feelings of all the board members before you post to a thread like this.

[Makeitstop]

( Yeah,but its still a skirt)
"Your point being?" usually followed by an explanation that skirts and other such things have been normal menswear across the globe for all of human history, and that pants are an anomaly. Then I usually ask them what the big difference is between one cloth tube and 2 cloth tubes. These people typically haven't ever thought about why men have to wear pants, so forcing the conversation in that direction will usually either get them thinking or demonstrate their inability to do so.

And if it comes from a woman wearing pants I tend to point out that inconsistency. If it comes from a guy I often say that it is a pretty pathetic excuse for a man whose masculinity is entirely dependent on his clothes. I could be wearing a cocktail dress and fishnet stockings and I'd still be all man.

I also get a lot of people calling it a dress, to which I always reply "it's not a dress, it's a skirt." Works every time.

Oh, and keep in mind that some people will call it a skirt by accident. It took one of my friends almost a month to get it right.

( Is that a Kilt?)
Most people who have asked me this have either been genuinely curious, or simply surprised. Some people are ok with kilts but not with men in skirts, so they want to be certain. A simple "yes" will get the job done, but it can also be fun to throw in a "great, isn't it?" or "jealous?"

( Hey dude,Love your costume)
If they seem like they are genuine, you may want to just accept that they are ignorant but did not mean to offend. Correct them if you feel so inclined or just nod and leave it at that.

If they seem to be intentionally insulting you, here's a fun response: "Thanks. I like to wear a different one every day. Tomorrow I'll be wearing [whatever the guy is wearing] and going as a [insert insult here]"

( Hey Bud,would you not mind wearing your kilt? I have some buddys coming and two are very homophobic ) I have had a very negative reaction from my grandparents which is pretty similar, and when I see them I reluctantly wear pants. I don't do it for their sake, or to avoid conflict (personally I don't give a rat's @$$ what they think) but they b!%&# and moan to my mom about it and she doesn't deserve that. So for her sake I put up with it.

If you're outgoing and have easy access to the required materials, I say show up early in some hip huggers and a tube top, and when he says something, offer to change into the kilt.

You could explain that you're not gay (or at least that the kilt has nothing to do with it) and that it is their problem, and if it is so severe that they can't be around a guy in a kilt then they should really get therapy, but that would be rational and logical, and clearly that won't work here. So just go in the opposite direction. Ask if they're cute. Play into every stereotype you can think of. For an added touch, change your cell phone ring to it's raining men. Instead of trying to explain that a kilt is not gay, show him the difference and let him figure it out. At the very least he'll realize that the kilt is better than the alternative.



My only real advice however is to try make a distinction between people who are ignorant and people who are actually choosing to be jerks of their own free will. The ignorant can usually be educated, or will at least respond well to a friendly person. Jerks on the other hand are either looking for a negative reaction, or don't care either way and simply want to impose their views. Feel free to use a witty comeback, but make sure you are smiling. If they think they are getting under your skin, it only encourages them. Believe me, I'm a jerk myself and I love that feeling.

[woodard]

My 1SG does this to me constantly. Not a lot I can do about it. Sometimes I make an offhanded remark about his lack of manhood or courage. Besides, he's so redneck, his cell phone ringer is a turkey call. He's retiring in a month so that will be the end of it.

Just curious. Has your 1SG heard of the Uniform Code of Military Justice?

[muirkirkca]

Calling one Bud after a long friendship would bother me as starters. The second would be what other bigotry the invitees would have and express.
I would appreciate the warning and find a reason not to attend until there is a more welcoming climate.

[Coinneach]

( Hey Bud,would you not mind wearing your kilt? I have some buddys coming and two are very homophobic )

...and they need you to do their thinking for them?

At one time or another I've made judgements about people based on how they look and how they're dressed. I'd say that 90% of the time I've been wrong; they almost all think the kilt is cool...and some of them even have kilts themselves. Your "former friend" did all of his friends a big disservice.

[James MacMillan]

It must be my beard, or my gut, or my age, but I just don't run into those comments anymore. Maybe I wear the kilt differently?

During the first year or so, it seemed like everytime I went anywhere, but these last few years? Nothing negative! Only an occassional "What's that tartan? -or- "Nice Kilt." or yesterday a guy stopped me and wanted to know where in my area he could get a kilt.... That prompted a long conversation and exchanging of e-mails and an invite for him to visit X-Marks.

In fact George, if you are lurking, this is the old bearded guy that you talked to outside of Beverages and More. Join in!

[SFCRick]

Ignore them with a polite smile, do not lower yourself but maintain your dignity and honor

[JakobT]

How would you handle a situation or what would you say if some said:

( Yeah,but its still a skirt) "Sure. What of it?"

( Is that a Kilt?) "Yes, it is."

( Hey dude,Love your costume) "Thanks."

( Hey Bud,would you not mind wearing your kilt? I have some buddys coming and two are very homophobic ) "In that case, we'd rather not come at all, thank you."

I think it's usually best to take comments like this at face value - giving a frank and straightforward answer usually defuses a situation very quickly. It's only the last of the comments that's really rude, and best disposed of by never darkening the door of this "friend" again.

[graham_s]

when I was in the military (and single), I would take my kilt away on overseas deployments. eventually it was so accepted that I would be wearing it, my OC would specifically ask me to bring it as it was good for the image of the squadron (being based in Scotland).
whenever I got hassle from the lads, or from strangers from other nations, I would point out to them this one fact.
"Chicks dig guys in Kilts"
I got way more action in a Kilt than any two other guys on the squadron combined.
It never failed.