I apologize if this is innap, I need to release steam

[SteveB]

Jamie,
First - a very warm from Boston, Massachusetts.
Second - You are not the one with the problem. Either a co-worker is out of line professionally, or is on the wrong end of supervision for cause. Whichever is the case, he/she has decided to use/abuse you as their personal scapegoat. I hope you can keep a professional air when the discussion comes up. I do not know the labor laws in the State of New York. If this were here in Massachusetts, the supervisor would be reported to human resources, with a suggestion for some culture/diversity training. I am an openly gay male, who is in a same sex marriage here in Massachusetts. I wear the kilt as a source of pride in my Scottish Ancestry, as well as for the comfort that goes along with it. Tuesday I was kilted all day in public as the supervisor of a precinct polling station here in Boston. I have had in the past a few rude remarks about the kilt. Most have been handled by some short words of education. I have been kilted over forty years, and have only had one person that needed education by being the caber that got tossed. I am also fortunate to live in a very culturally, and ethnically diverse city. I have been photographed on the subway while kilted, talking with another passenger in full Native American regalia.
At first, there were some issues. Over time they have faded away as more people here are showing pride in their heritage in their daily clothing.

Best wishes, Steve

[Bugbear]

I understand...; you needed to tell someone and talk. Guess you probably had that sick feeling in your stomach when you started to realize what was going on. Hang in there, and hope it turns out ok in the end.

Also, hope you are able to make lots of friends here at X Marks, Jamie. Best of wishes.

[Mountain Scot]

May I offer some friendly and, hopefully sage advice to you? Well, I am going to! When you wear the kilt, you must be not only a man, but a gentleman. Being a gentleman requires that your reaction to perceptions of others be handled in a "gentle" manor. A) find ways to put people at ease through witticism. B) never take what people say personally as some people, (a remarkable number), are entirely ignorant of the meaning and importance of the kilt. Be gracious in your responses. C) be prepared, sometimes to give in, especially in the work environment, to the fact that the kilt is not always appropriate for all situations. Sometimes, we must defer to the fact that there are places in which, a kilt, as perfect a garment as it is, is not going to work.
I work as a Manager in a manufacturing environment. Everyone who knows, including all of my employees, that I wear a kilt. They have all seen me dressed this way many times as I dress sometimes to go to Scottish Events and am involved with the Scottish Society.(iescots.com). I go to company picnics, Christmas parties and all other company events in a kilt. In these contexts, I get very good feedback from them all.
When I am at work during the normal day, however, I would not think of wearing a kilt because, A) it is inappropriate to the environment. B) it is a distraction from my duties. C). In a work environment such as mine, it is a safety issue.
I wear a kilt almost everywhere I go, even some places no one else would. In the workplace though, I have to have respect for my position, the position of the employees, the position of upper management, and the position of CAL OSHA.
As much as I hate to say it, there are some environments in which kilt wearing needs to be carefully considered. I think you will find, from most native Scots, that when they go to work in the coal mine, the car manufacturer, the Psychological or Medical institution, they do not wear the kilt because it is inappropriate to the context.
By no means do I wish to discourage you from feeling free to dress as you please, and, at least in California, you may actually have a legal case in your defense, consider this:
if a Bavarian counselor were to wear his lederhosen to a therapy session, well, you can probably see what is going on here.
In the work environment, especially in your field, it is important to shed your own individuality in favour of the needs of your clients. It is the time to put their needs above your traditions. Wear your kilt proudly in environments in which it is conducive to good will. When at work, if your work is such, make sure that your professionalism takes precedence over your style. This will serve your clients well and will allow them to understand when you tell them about your kilt wearing. It will allow them to be at ease when you tell them you wear the kilt.
I know that many people on this forum may disagree, but this is offered with the utmost respect from someone who is proud to wear the kilt every day.

Best Regards to you,
Aaron

[Rex_Tremende]

When the dress code says "no jeans," that means "no jeans." It's not up to individuals to reinterpret a clear policy just because they encounter a situation that they don't understand. That doesn't mean that there is no work involved in helping others understand why your choices should be considered professional and in adherence with the policy if an objection is raised.

The dress code at my last company had specific instructions for men and women. Even so, it was the prevailing culture that applied more than the policy. I was reprimanded once for wearing an earring (I forgot to take it out from the weekend), but there was nothing in the policy prohibiting that. Meanwhile, the code was very clear that women should not wear sandals or open-toed shoes without also wearing hose, but that policy was violated with wanton abandon throughout the office (even by the HR staff, who, when made aware of this apparent violation, considered rewriting the policy to suit their own preferences).

If there's one thing I've learned after being employed for the last twenty-some-odd years, it's that managers just hate dealing with inter-personnel squabbles. Frankly I think the failure lay with the first supervisor (of the affronted person), who really ought to have advised the person to speak with you about their concerns. So, how did you leave it with the supervisor? Were you banned from wearing the kilt, or just informed that someone had a problem with it? With a cool head, I'd offer to work with anyone who has a concern and the agency's administrators to help bring clarity to this somewhat new situation.

Let us know how it goes.
Rex.

[JamieKerr]

I thank you all for the warm welcome and friendly replies. Riverkilt, I'm with you. My real problem isn't in that someone is trying to tell me that I can't wear one particular type of garment. My problem is that an agency which supposedly embraces diversity and tries to "understand people where they are at in life" has no business telling me that this form of dress is inappropriate. My other real problem lies in the unprofessional manner in which the first supervisor, as well as the complainer, handled the situation. As I said before and I'll say again. I know that dressing differently could have a negative impact on my practice with my clients. For that reason I always dress as conservatively as possible for my first initial visits with a new client. After that period I gauge a person's receptiveness to me, and will dress accordingly in the meetings that follow. I have to view this situation for what it is; discrimination.

I am about to have a meeting with my colleagues which will likely center around this issue. I will be keeping you folks updated.

[McClef]

Firstly from South Wales UK!

I am fortunate to never have had to deal with such an issue in a professional situation and only had one woman who was offended by my kilt (she was in trousers) so when she said I was dressed "like a woman" I replied "Madam you are the one in trousers so if I wanted to be "dressed like a woman" I would have to wear trousers too."

But I do have experience of petty jealousies and rivalries and favouritism and backstabbing amongst members of staff and am inclined to think that this has arisen in this area where any excuse was better than none.

Precedence - the number of times you have been kilted or skirted or whatever without complaint could well work in your favour.

[beowulf67]

Welcome to the rabble. The one thing that really stood out in my mind when I read your first post was the person complaining said "If he can wear kilts, I can wear jeans" or some such.
To me that sounds like they were just looking for something to throw up in the boss' face to try and get the rules relaxed so they can wear their casual jeans. And you just happened to be there, in a kilt, and they saw that as an opportunity.
So it may not be anything personal against you, but to them your kilted attire stands out the most.

Or I could be blowing smoke out my a@$. Who knows.

By the way, I like the quote in your signature. That's a great song from one of the best albums of all time.

[Jimmy]

Jamie, I can never understand the time, effort and money put in by governments and organisatons in the western world to preach diversity and equality and to treat every person as an individual. It seems that it is all good sound bytes and the collection of brownie points to these organisations but how often do we see it in practice. As soon as someone wants to show that he is an individual and not a member of some colective herd, he or she are torn apart by criticism for their attempts to individualise and be different.
I admire your strength and determination to be your own man and do your own thing.It would be a funny and boring old world if we thought and dressed alike

[Coinneach]

First,

I agree with beowulf67; the other person was trying to use you in your kilt to achieve their own ends of wearing jeans. Unfortunately, an inappropriate management response has exploded the situation beyond reason and it has now landed on you.

Take a deep breath, know the policies, become best friends with HR, always be polite and sincerely constructive when educating others about the kilt. In this situation, the kilt is a red herring distracting others from the issue. And most of all, do your job.

I've found the higher educated and more professional the office, the more subtle the discrimination becomes. A calm, focused approach always makes the others look more hysterical.

[beowulf67]

Jamie, I can never understand the time, effort and money put in by governments and organisatons in the western world to preach diversity and equality and to treat every person as an individual. It seems that it is all good sound bytes and the collection of brownie points to these organisations but how often do we see it in practice. As soon as someone wants to show that he is an individual and not a member of some colective herd, he or she are torn apart by criticism for their attempts to individualise and be different.
I admire your strength and determination to be your own man and do your own thing.It would be a funny and boring old world if we thought and dressed alike

Jimmy, it's really easy to understand.
Most of the people behind "diversity" training and laws, etc believe that true diversity is when everyone else thinks just like they do. These are usually the same types that proclaim "Free speach is a right-but you can't say anything that might offend someone!"

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread, already in progress....