Venting.

[siva011]

On one hand, I understand Panache's point, but on the other hand I disagree. Of course you want to do you can to preserve family. Mine has been so broken and it would be nice if others had preserved that. I apparently have an uncle not too far from Fairbanks, but I'm not even sure of his name. On the other side though, I keep hearing the phrase "a kilt is just fabric"... but I disagree. A kilt isn't just fabric, it's a choice, a representation of me and who I am, and it is my comfort. When people put kilt wearers down like that, chalenging their masculinity and other comments intended to insult, they aren't talking about fabric. They are talking about the PERSON wearing the fabric. If I was in this situation, I wouldn't see it as just fabric, I'd see it as a lack of respect to me.

[beloitpiper]

Tough situation, but I think it is best to grin and bear it.

[DotDLL]

Man, this uncle should be glad to have a relative like you. If he is, it sounds like the way he shows it stinks.

[mudd]

It's like I've always said; you can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives, or your relatives noses, or something like that... I forget. You get the idea.

[Makeitstop]

I have a similar problem with my grandparents. My grandma will practically disappear and my grandpa will either make extremely rude comments, or just throw a fit like a 2 year old.

The issue is one of respect. Both your uncle's behavior and that of my grandparents is extremely disrespectful. While the kilt may just be a piece of cloth, this is not about the kilt. This is about the way people should treat each other. If someone does not approve of another person's clothing, there are many respectful ways to deal with that. They could just keep their mouth shut. A simple "I'm not really comfortable with that" is entirely acceptable; Insults and the like are not.

I cannot tell you how to handle the situation (though by now it should be far less important anyway) as I don't know your personality or his. I will however point out a few options.

Note: I understand this may not be relevant now that you are out of there, but I figure it's still good for future reference and for others in the same boat.

Direct confrontation: He is being disrespectful. Call him on it. Point out his inappropriate behavior in a calm but firm manner, and when he (inevitably) tries to make the kilt issue, point out how he should have handled the situation, returning the focus to his conduct.
This can be effective, but it can also lead to serious conflict. Some people will recognize that they have been naughty, or will back down from a challenge. Others however will just see this as an opportunity to escalate things, or will simply get angry and lash out further. In either case, this is not recommended for those who can't stand conflict.

Indirect confrontation: This is similar, but more of a passive aggressive approach. Wear the kilt, and when he makes a comment, just look at your watch as if you know exactly how long it takes for him to throw this routine. When finishes a little rant, ask if he's done yet. Just go on with your life as usual, let his comments bounce off, and be entirely dismissive of any offensive action. Should he accidentally say something in a polite, respectful manner (even if it is anti-kilt) acknowledge it.
The basic idea is to refuse to give him the response he is most likely looking for, and instead, to punish him by sending a clear signal that his words are irrelevant. At the same time good behavior is rewarded with a show of interest and respect.

Educate: Go on offense and fight for the kilt. Show him that real men really do wear kilts. Explain the history and the benefits. Make him watch braveheart until he can stand no more.
For some people, this can actually work. However, I think this is better suited to, say, a girlfriend/wife/significant other/whatever who doesn't like the idea, if only because you have a lot more time to wear them down. I have yet to see someone so hostile to anything change simply through education. (Even so, I will probably be getting my grandpa a copy of Rob Roy for Christmas. It can't hurt, and even if it does... meh)

Wait it out: Wear the kilt, let the novelty wear off, and eventually he'll have to find something else to talk about. He may even get used to the thing.
This is the long hard path. It takes patience, fortitude and grace, but it can be done. You don't start any trouble, but you don't just let him win and surrender your dignity and individuality either.

Say uncle: Wear pants around him, and try to let it go.
This is the diplomatic approach. It may be worth it to just forget about the kilt and try maintain harmony.


And now, for the sake of full disclosure:

I don't wear a kilt when visiting my grandparents. I do this because when they see my kilt, they b**** and moan about it to my mom for at least an hour, and she doesn't deserve that. So I wear a pair of athletic shorts, and put up with it out of respect for her. That said, I don't back down from the fact that I wear a kilt everywhere else, and while I'm always polite I don't take any crap from them about it.

[sirdaniel1975]

You have to understand that most people today are so brainwashed by what is believed to be societies norms, that they might never except the kilt as an acceptable garment for men to wear.

With images like these:





It makes the conversion, the acceptance very difficult for some. I have met many men who believe the best garment a man can wear is a pair of western style blue jeans. That anything else is nothing but non-masculine. Everyone has their own beliefs, the unfortunate situation is that when a man dons a kilt people tend to get really bold and like to make rude comments or ask questions in such a way to make the wearer feel as though they are somewhat less a man than he.

Those of us who have been to college, or metropolitan cities, or where ever one might see persons wearing garments of their cultural background.. I have never noticed people making the remarks to them that kilt wearers receive. If someone did, it would be perceived as bigotry. I personally believe that when people make those remarks to persons whilst wearing a kilt are making negative ethnic remarks. Especially if it is the wearers ancestral heritage at some point, which is usually the case.

With this being said, like Jaimie said.. sometimes it's worth putting up a little discomfort and wearing pants in order not to make others feel uncomfortable. Many of us here have to do this for work anyway. I personally pick and choose what I'm going to wear for many of these reasons. I would prefer to wear a kilt everyday, all day, but for me that is impossible for certain reasons at this juncture.

[Carolina Kiltman]

I have met many men who believe the best garment a man can wear is a pair of western style blue jeans.

Reminds me of a comment my brother made about the members of the school board who hired me for my first teaching job in Nebraska. "They all wore big hats and pained expressions from having pinched balls." Pointed shoes also fall into this same category, at lest for me. I won't wear them. A kilt is the most comfortable male garment ever devised. I think it was the viking invaders who put pants on the male population. (I could be mistaken on this, but I remember reading it somewhere as authoritative).