anti-climax jokes... I wouldnt help laugh when reading them!

**Monkey@Arms** · 7th October 09, 10:20 PM

This one is more absurdist, but I love it.

Two sausages are in a frying pan.
The first one says "Is it getting hot in here?"
The second one screams "Aaah! A talking sausage!"

Best regards,

Jake

**funlvnman** · 7th October 09, 10:26 PM

Originally Posted by Paul.

I love these "jokes"! They're completely anti-climax to any classic joke format... they've basically ruined all other jokes for me!
I'm not sure if many people share my sense of humour though

My personal favorite is "Do you walk to work or carry your lunch?"

Look up Henny Youngman for some inspiration.
My favorite of his is

Two buffalo were roaming across the plains. One buffalo suddenly stopped. The other buffalo asked "Why did you stop?". The first buffalo said "I heard a discrouraging word"

**Inchessi** · 19th October 09, 06:45 AM

Two giraffes were in a bath tub. One ask the other to pass the soap. The second one responds, "What do you think I am? A radio."

**St. Amish** · 19th October 09, 06:53 AM

My son's favorite used to be, "What has 50 legs but can't walk? Half a centipede!", but then he took it a step further (and possibly a step too far):

What has 2 legs but can't walk?
Half a cat!

**Hellequin** · 19th October 09, 07:10 AM

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

**Detroitpete** · 19th October 09, 12:11 PM

Perhaps an nonsequitur...

When is the best time to consider the foundational premise of the Kantian assertoric hypothetical imperative?

No ...because jello has NO bones.

Sorry--that used to make people spit beer through their noses at the "pub-afters" for one of my Philosophy courses

If it made sense to you--you're deeply disturbed..

**ccga3359** · 19th October 09, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by Paul.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident.

A man walks into a pub. He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family

What do you call a cat with no tail?
A manx cat

Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

Why is there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.

Ladies & Gentlemen, this is the is a stark vision of the future of XMTS if Jamie were to ever lose his mid-morning gin & tonics. Please send donations of half-guzzled bottles of Gibleys to...

**The F-H.C.A.G.** · 19th October 09, 07:12 PM

So, Grant, don't you think we should set up an account with the postal service for a volume discount first?

And, the address is...

My mother-in-law's
666 Down There Place
HE double hockey sticks, Universe 66666

Be well,

p.s.

I'm soooo dead if Panache reads this!

**piperdbh** · 19th October 09, 07:31 PM

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long does it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

I think a few of the posters here don't have all their ducks quacking in the same pew.

**St. Amish** · 20th October 09, 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by piperdbh

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long does it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

I think a few of the posters here don't have all their ducks quacking in the same pew.

The way my grandpa told this one is:

If it takes a hen and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take a rooster sitting on a brass doorknob to hatch a hardware store?

He'd wait several minutes, then say, "Give up? So did the rooster!"

I love old people.