To maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in Steve's coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once he has gotten over his caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
5. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For Marijuana'.
6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Wear your kilt – and sporran -- back-to-front for a whole day. Tell anyone who notices that he is mistaken.
9. Specify that your drive-through order Is 'To Go'.
10. Sing along at the opera.
11. Five days in advance of your friends' party, tell them that you can't attend because you have a headache.
12. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
13. When leaving the zoo, look back and then start running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!'
14. Tell your children over dinner that due to the economy you are going to have to let one of you go.

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity

15. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.