Women and kilts

**ggibby** · 18th March 04, 08:12 PM

I have more than one good story on this topic, but I'll start with this one.

I was living in Philadelphia and had just returned from picking up my kilt from Maggie McConnell at Highland Heritage in Delaware. There was a street fair in the Manayunk section of town not far away, so I decided to get on with it, kilted up and out the door I went.

The first time out kilted is, I think, a bit nerve-wracking, especially if undertaken alone. I was very conscious of every glance, and was actually practicing answers to The Question. It came up a few times, and all I did was look her (always her) straight in the eye and say No..? As if to wonder what other answer there could be. I tried smiling coyly, but I probably looked more irked.

Reaching the far end of the street, I decided I was done. Headed back out Main Street toward my place, on the sidewalk, nearing a bar with tables outdoors. Some folks were standing around, including two couples directly ahead of me.

As I approached, one of the women laid down on the sidewalk, face up, across my path.

Stepping close, I stopped, bent at the waist and asked if I could help.

"You know what I want!" Came the answer, only a little slurred and smelling lightly of hops.

So I stepped over her head, pausing only slightly, then continued on my way with nary a glance back. My memory is that she said something in appreciation, but we all do gild those fonder passages, no?

Next time: Recalling 'Fa*kin' English' history and the red-faced boyfriend.

-G

**BatlRatl** · 25th March 09, 12:09 PM

When accosted by women with the age-old question, whether young or old, curious or flirtatious, my reply is:

"Every women's hopes and dreams".

followed by a quick departure from the midst.

(always good for a laugh)

I thank you.

**wyldathart** · 25th March 09, 01:08 PM

What should be done is tie a nice red bow around it and when they look, yell SUPRISE!!!!!

**Nighthawk** · 25th March 09, 01:10 PM

Well, let's see... My wife and I were at a buffet restaurant, and I was at the line holding my tray, trying to decide what I wanted. I felt what seemed like talons go up my kilt and grab my rear end. I dropped my tray- in pain- and turnded around to see a woman who looked to be in her 90's scurrying away with her walker. I just stood in rapt horror... So there you go- my favorite to date.

**Bugbear** · 25th March 09, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Well, let's see... My wife and I were at a buffet restaurant, and I was at the line holding my tray, trying to decide what I wanted. I felt what seemed like talons go up my kilt and grab my rear end. I dropped my tray- in pain- and turnded around to see a woman who looked to be in her 90's scurrying away with her walker. I just stood in rapt horror... So there you go- my favorite to date.

Ah, I knew you would have a good one, Hawk.

**The Barry** · 25th March 09, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Well, let's see... My wife and I were at a buffet restaurant, and I was at the line holding my tray, trying to decide what I wanted. I felt what seemed like talons go up my kilt and grab my rear end. I dropped my tray- in pain- and turnded around to see a woman who looked to be in her 90's scurrying away with her walker. I just stood in rapt horror... So there you go- my favorite to date.

Wow.. Just... Wow... I don't even know what to say, maybe the best kilt-check story ever!

**funlvnman** · 25th March 09, 02:06 PM

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Well, let's see... My wife and I were at a buffet restaurant, and I was at the line holding my tray, trying to decide what I wanted. I felt what seemed like talons go up my kilt and grab my rear end. I dropped my tray- in pain- and turnded around to see a woman who looked to be in her 90's scurrying away with her walker. I just stood in rapt horror... So there you go- my favorite to date.

The real question to be asked is who did she tell that this happened. I bet she got quite the chuckle.

**Brewboy** · 25th March 09, 03:02 PM

I have had many a kilt check from many a lassie, and a few from enthusiastic men as well. One was when MacTavishOfJapan and his new bride came to Chicago and hung out with our rabble. As we were taking pictures outside the first pub on our crawl (the wonderful Duke of Perth) some drunk 20 somethings stumbled by. One of them asked what I was wearing under the kilt, so I came back with a standard quip about good girls asking and bad girls finding out. I was warned that she would find out, and I remarked that she could go ahead if she wanted. She then gave me a kilt check not just under my kilt, but directly under my sporran. Upon finding out "the answer" to "the question" she asked me to join her and her friends for the night. I declined and stayed with the rabble and our guest of honor.

Here is a photo of us grinning like idiots while she asked me to join her: