If you're happy and you know it...wear a kilt.

**Graham** · 10th August 04, 07:04 PM

WOW, I am simply overwhelmed by the love and support here, it may not mean much to my daughter but it sure does to me and makes a difference.

Thank you all, it really is amazing how very real friendships can grow even over the internet.

I feel your love and comradeship and really appreciate it.

The good news is that my daughter, Tabitha returned to school today, she seemed happier tho' a little foolish for what she had done.
I believe it was a combination of stress from school and schoolwork, her time of month and then finally a father telling her to spend less time in front of the mirror with her hair (easy for me to say) and hurry for the school bus.

My wife has been amazingly strong and supportive as I struggled with "what have I done wrong" issues.

We live in Paradise here, in every way possible I believe we are blessed with the best environment for a child to grow up in.
But you know, all that is sometimes not enough, they have to make their own way and their own mistakes.

My eldest son tried to top himself once over a failed love affair, but with lots of love and effort from us and his church he has grown into a wonderful lad.

I would not like to be young again today, life is really tough for kids.

Thanks for your prayers, it is written : "the prayers of a righteous man availeth much". Prayer works, it has worked, thank you.

PS I'm back in a kilt today, more confident than ever.

**bubba** · 10th August 04, 07:30 PM

Graham, many of us consider you a good friend. When you are happy we feel it. When you hurt we feel that too. I'm glad it came out ok and your daughter is coming around. Like I said before, love and support at home eventually wins out over lifes trials.

**GMan** · 10th August 04, 07:52 PM

Originally Posted by bubba

Graham, many of us consider you a good friend. When you are happy we feel it. When you hurt we feel that too. I'm glad it came out ok and your daughter is coming around. Like I said before, love and support at home eventually wins out over lifes trials.

I couldn't have said it better!

**Graham** · 10th August 04, 08:22 PM

Thanks again Glen and bubba, may your blue crosses be as the sand of the seashore!

This is post 1930, that was a terrible year in which many took their own lives.

**Xcop** · 10th August 04, 10:31 PM

Graham,
Long after most on here have ended their day, mine is commung to a close. I will rest easier now, knowing that your immediate family crisis is over. You know we are o'hana here..( O'hana, hawaiian word meaning the concept of the extended family). I know that you all have some healing and growing to do, and my prayers are with you as you face those challenges.

David

**Rhino** · 10th August 04, 10:54 PM

My day is just starting and I found this post. I'll be late for work but here goes, I'm so sorry to hear of your daughters problems Graham but feel sure that your family and home are the right environment to support her at this time. I'm pretty sure that this is a teenage 'thing', I say this not to make light of her problems but to reassure you that she will be ok and probably sooner than you think.
As for the kilt question you are bang on, my 2 youngest sons recently got up to a few things which made me ashamed of them and I couldn't wear my kilt for several days. How strange???
My thoughts are with you and yours Graham,
Cheers Rhino

**Derek** · 10th August 04, 11:50 PM

I've been away for a day and have just logged in to x marks and I am so sorry to read this post Graham. I'm sure that with all the love and support that you and your wife and your family are giving her, she will soon heal and bounce back quickly. We too will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Derek & Elaine.

**Hamish** · 11th August 04, 01:39 AM

Graham,

Being an only child and not having a family of my own I cannot readily identify with your situation, apart from having a terrible sensation of sadness that anyone could contemplate taking the action that young Tabitha did. I do know that youngsters today can be driven to extremes that we, at that age, never were.

Everything that can be said, has been said by others here, but I should like you and your family to be aware of my love and concern for you all at this time.

On a lighter note: had I been in a similar situation I would not have had the option of changing out of a kilt - unless it was into another!

Take care,
Ham.

**Mychael Sporrano** · 11th August 04, 05:42 AM

I am also sorry, Graham, for the events and stress that you have been going through these past few days. I have been trying to enjoy my kids at their present ages of 5 and 7 yrs without thinking about those impending teen years and all that they involve.

It is interesting that you should mention your exchange of clothing. To me, wearing my kilts is a fun activity. I wear a kilt all of the time, so everything must be fun, yes? Not really, but I enjoy how I feel and how I look. It is a festive thing in many ways and adds a little fun to things that are ordinarily mundane.

The episode with your daughter had to be terrifying, as far from festive as anything could be. It was a serious situation that caused you to change clothing. Didn't you once mention that, with the exception of your oldest son who does not presently live at home, your children are not so thrilled with the kilt? I think that you changed out of respect for the situation. Perhaps there was even a little bit of comfort to be taken in those old familiar trousers.

The other day my wife did something that really annoyed me. I forget what it was now, but it was something that bugged me personally and I recall feeling particularly perturbed. We don't have many disagreements. I immediately changed into a pair of shorts. It was the oddest thing, but suddenly my kilt didn't fit my mood. I think that lasted for about 15 minutes before I was again kilted.

Good luck, mate.

Mychael

**Graham** · 11th August 04, 07:22 AM

Mychael, you may be right there, you know me better than I know myself

Wearing a kilt is a celebration for me, since there was nothing to celebrate - old shorts seemed better. While I didn't consciously think of this, but also it was a bloody situation and I don't mind blood on my shorts.

The mind does funny things under stress.
Some years ago i came home to find my house on fire. I had reason to think my daughter was in her room, the fire prevented me from going in by the door so I ran around and smashed the window.

In the stress I broke the window of the room her cot USED to be in before moving to an adjacent room.
My mind went back too far.

She was not in the house, which was totally destroyed, but I was so happy she was safe.