Reinventing ourselves

[Freedomlover]

It is called "growing up". Youth was spent trying to please parents and teachers, young adulthood in trying to please employers and "fit in" with the crowd. By maturity (35+) we are fairly firmly set in our ways: accustomed to going along to get along. Generally speaking we (men) are not rockers of the boat. But living according to the expectations of others, while in part unavoidable, is an exercise in futility and leaves most men with a haunting feeling of unhappiness.

There is a reason why men above 45 or 50 often do things that make them seem somewhat unbalanced. The reason is that they have smothered themselves by years of always doing what was expected and have finally realized that they have a duty not just to others, but to themselves. Expression of that realization takes many forms. From hot sports cars to simple kilts the impetus is frequently (though of course not always) the same: the demonstration of independence.

That we remain unsure of ourselves is evidenced by our more or less constant need for reinforcement and support. So we are not really as independent as we would like to think, are we?

[Blu (Ontario)]

... Is this the way you feel you are going by wearing a kilt?

I'm Not "Re-inventing myself... I'd say it's been more of an Awakening! After 50 years of falling in line and living life as just another "pebble on the beach", I'm finally listening to myself. I'm doing things on my terms and if others don't like it... too bad / so sad. The process has not been quick or smooth but ultimately I think it's worth it. My wife recently refered to it as "mid-life crisis". I dunno... maybe she's right but you know what??... It doesn't matter and I don't care! 8)

[bubba]

I dunno. I've never much cared what anyone else thinks. I can't say I've reinvented myself at all. I'm just expressing more of my individuality.

[Riverkilt]

Good topic.

I try to dress in a manner congruent with who I am inside.

As a kid my clothes were chosen for me. As a young adult the military and corporate America issued me uniforms.

When I got sober in '89 I started to figure out who I was and attire myself accordingly.

Stopped cutting my hair at age 50, now at 60 its down to my tail end...grateful I have hair since my grandfather Murdoch Macdonald was bald as a que ball.

ZCoil shoes, Pendleton vests and jackets, collecting jackets, aloha shirts, etc. are all part of my choosing the clothes I want to wear.

Gotta admit there's still a consideration about what my clients will be looking at, but the choices are still congruent with my innards.

Kilts just fit right in. I'm a happy camper with age on my side now...or, as the book says, "What you Think of me is None of my Business."

Ron

[RockyR]

I've just been told by the other half that she just cant get used to me wearing a kilt. Has said that "she married a man not a girl!!!. Is there any hope.
Have been (until now) wearing the kilt as often as I could around the house, noiced some improvements in my health as far as the skin on my legs went. Oh well back to the closet for the kilt I guess, For a hile at least! Damn it i was enjoying the freedom too.Best to keep the peace. Cheers Andrew

Andrew don't give up yet.. If you have read my many posts on this subject you know what a struggle it was for my wife. To be sure you know your wife better then we do so consider that as you read on...

Listen pal.. this may be nothing more then a mood swing.. and if it is, it will keep swinging back and forth for a while. It will no doubt frustrate both of you for a good bit. You need to go out of your way to please her and re-assure her that you want no part of being like a woman in any way, that you want nothing to do with weaing womens clothes, that you just want the comfort. You can appeal to her love for you and yours for her. Man hang in there, you musn't hang it in the closet, that will only frustrate you and she will think you have finally gave up on it. . This won't go away Andrew, it will only be buried and will remain a source of contention until it is at last resolved one way or the other.

One of the things I did to get my wife used to it was find the baggiest pair of shorts that came past my knee that I could find. I found some made by DICKE that are black. they are so baggy my girls call them coulottes and they almost look like a skirt. I hate them but hey, it helped. She later told me that if she could get used to me wearing them she could get used to the kilt. And she knows that's why I did it. She is a great wife and now is fully supportive. I am telling you Andrew if my wife can turn around so can yours. It Takes time.. hang in there...

As Red Green would say. Were pulling for ya, we're all in this together....

Having said all that.. don't let this ruin your marriage, don't get in arguments over it. Tell her that you will wear it for the day the next time she is gone shopping. She won't be there, but she will know you are wearing it, but watch out if she has any lady friends she is talking to that might symphathize with her view. thats dangerous....

I will be praying for you and the sweet Mrs.

Hope I am not stepping into your life to deep Andrew, hope it helps a bit.

JohnAllen

[Jerry]

Good topic.

I try to dress in a manner congruent with who I am inside.

As a kid my clothes were chosen for me. As a young adult the military and corporate America issued me uniforms.

When I got sober in '89 I started to figure out who I was and attire myself accordingly.

Stopped cutting my hair at age 50, now at 60 its down to my tail end...grateful I have hair since my grandfather Murdoch Macdonald was bald as a que ball.

ZCoil shoes, Pendleton vests and jackets, collecting jackets, aloha shirts, etc. are all part of my choosing the clothes I want to wear.

Gotta admit there's still a consideration about what my clients will be looking at, but the choices are still congruent with my innards.

Kilts just fit right in. I'm a happy camper with age on my side now...or, as the book says, "What you Think of me is None of my Business."

Ron

I am happy for you, that you still have hair at 60. I'm 61, and i have just enough on top to look stupid. I've seriously been considering shaving it. If I hadn't been so vain during Chemo therapy, I'd have continued to stay totaly bald. The only probem with the chemo was that I had no hair anywhere, no eyebrows, no beard, and even the boys were a wee bit cold.

[Blu (Ontario)]

... Man hang in there, you musn't hang it in the closet, that will only frustrate you and she will think you have finally gave up on it. . This won't go away Andrew, it will only be buried and will remain a source of contention until it is at last resolved one way or the other.... It Takes time.. hang in there...

Well said, JA...!

akaussie... What ever you choose to do, it must be your choice and for the right reasons. This is one issue that will never go away by hanging it in a closet. It will just simmer and make both of you miserable. Keep us posted... we're here for support.

[Rob Wright]

I look at it as more a journey of discovery of who I am and what I want to be.

Rob Wright

[Riverkilt]

Here's another sneaky idea for you Andrew.

A long time friend of mine decided mid-life that he wanted to buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Knowing his wife would freak out he went to hang gliding stores and picked up their literature, bought hang gliding magazines, and went to the library and checked out hang gliding magazines and immersed himself in them for a while. When the time was right he asked sort of questioningly if maybe he shouldn't buy a Harley instead...of course the wife jumped on the chance to support something other than hang gliding. She came to love the Harley and they often travel together on it.

So, along the same lines, maybe if you wrote off to the Australian Naturist Federation http://aus-nude.org.au/ and started bringing home information, magazines, and books on naturism/nudism she'd come to think of your kilt as the better option to support.

Ron

[Raphael]

I actually reinvented myself a long time ago.

When I was in High school, I was this geeky Nerd.

After Highschool and a few Metal/Punk/Goth/New Wave/Industrial Albums, I reinvented myself to be a Freak.

Slowly, I am punking th business world with a Kilt and a Dress Shirt. I ready to show them my way of doing business, Out of the box thinking with traditional Value.

Who's next?