Idiot in a skirt!

[RockyR]

This one will either get you in trouble or have them / or their buddies laughing so hard that they buy you a beer:

Jerk: "Hey, Nice Skirt"
You: "How are you going to explain to your buddies that you got your @$$ kicked by a guy in a skirt?"

2nd retort:

Jerk: "Hey, Nice Skirt"
You: "Some men just need more room than others."

That being said, I usually ignore rude drunks and act like I don't hear them. Usually their friends yank them back to the bar after the first or second "announcement" before they can really do any damage.

[Tommie]

Why not just say loud enough for everyone near him to hear "Intelligent people call it a kilt."
Sorta makes him look the fool and in most cases people around will end up defending your right to wear one.

[Nighthawk]

Why not just say loud enough for everyone near him to hear "Intelligent people call it a kilt."
Sorta makes him look the fool and in most cases people around will end up defending your right to wear one.

I've done that before. It tends to work only if the guy's company don't also want to look like morons. So more often than not, it works.

[LANCER1562]

I've gotten the "skirt" comment in a bar a couple of times to which I responded "living proof that as the blood alcohol content goes up, the IQ goes down".

As to the weapons comments comments (concealed ot otherwise), a very wise man (my Army platoon sergeant) once said "your most dangerous weapon is the one you have between your ears if you know how to use it".

Never argue with an idiot or a fool, someone may not be able to tell the difference.

[Tommie]

I've gotten the "skirt" comment in a bar a couple of times to which I responded "living proof that as the blood alcohol content goes up, the IQ goes down".

I'm not so sure about that.
A friend of mine once took a drinking and driving test for the State Police.
They did this using a driving simulator much like the vidio games where you race,pass cars,miss objects in the road,Etc.You know the kind.
The test involved taking one shot of acohol,waiting ten minutes,than driving thru the game.
They did this ten times to see how many shots before they became dangerous on the road.
Well by the time my friend completed his tenth drink,he was driving better than after his first.
I'm sure they are still trying to figure that one out.

However,I would not advise trying this and really driving.

[CDNSushi]

Yeah! LOL! I saw that episode too. WKRP in Cincinatti, right? The episode where Johnny Fever and D.J. Venus Flytrap have a cop on the show that tests their reflexes after drinking to show why you shouldn't drink & drive -- and he gets faster & faster after each drink!

Darn good show!

I'm not so sure about that.
A friend of mine once took a drinking and driving test for the State Police.
They did this using a driving simulator much like the vidio games where you race,pass cars,miss objects in the road,Etc.You know the kind.
The test involved taking one shot of acohol,waiting ten minutes,than driving thru the game.
They did this ten times to see how many shots before they became dangerous on the road.
Well by the time my friend completed his tenth drink,he was driving better than after his first.
I'm sure they are still trying to figure that one out.

However,I would not advise trying this and really driving.

[Mr. bone]

Yeah! LOL! I saw that episode too. WKRP in Cincinatti, right? The episode where Johnny Fever and D.J. Venus Flytrap have a cop on the show that tests their reflexes after drinking to show why you shouldn't drink & drive -- and he gets faster & faster after each drink!

Darn good show!

I did that at a radio station I worked for a couple of years ago. My co host who is 6-8 and weighs 270 was drinking beer and I at 6-0 and 260 was drinking screwdrivers. After three hours we went next door to the go-cart track, accompanied by a couple of local cops who were helping us with the breethalizer and drunk tests. My co-host barfed all over the go cart, and I couldn't operate the pedals. DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE!!

However,it was nice to get blasted on the bars tab!

[Cassidy]

The only time a biker ever called my kilt a skirt, I turned right around and called his bike a scooter. His friends then laughed and prodded him along his way.

[AnimalK]

Had the following exchange on the dance floor at the Margarita Ball the other night:

Drunken sot: "What would you do if I raised up your skirt?"

AnimalK: "Send a condolence letter to your next-of-kin..."

:

[CelticRanger66]

The last time that happened to me I literally took out the TRASH and deposited the offending person in the dumpster. But I dont recommend that approach to everyone.