My Turn To Deal With A Dress Code

[Dreadbelly]

Snapped what? Pencils? Your pleats as you turned sharply around for the door? Bones?

[elitekiltedcommando]

Snapped what? Pencils? Your pleats as you turned sharply around for the door? Bones?

No. The person that had angered me...

[Arlen]

I really do feel for you on this one and I wish you all the best on being allowed to continue wearing your kilt to work.
I worked in Scottish power, one of the biggest power suppliers in the U.K, and was told that it went against the strict dress code for me to wear my kilt to one.
After I pointed out that the dress code only mentioned that i should wear a shirt and tie and that many of my female co-workers wore women's kilts as well as T-shirts with bejewelled slogans such as 'Princess' and 'Naughty girl' on them I was allowed to wear my kilts.

I really hope you have similar luck.

All the best.

[Dreadbelly]

No. The person that had angered me...

So bones then.

[elitekiltedcommando]

So bones then.

I prefer the image of literally snapping an entire person clean in half...

[RockyR]

Kelly and I are rooting for you Ron. Kelly is appalled at her behavior and would like to point out that if it wasn't for Katherine Hepburn who wore PANTS (oh, how ghastly) in her movies in the 30's, SHE'D STILL be stuck in a skirt.

If you have to wear pants, I'd suggest you ask her to wear skirts as you're not really "comfortable" with a female in pants. It "goes against how you were raised" and "causes a distraction".

[Abax]

Ron,

I dealt with the same situation about 9 months ago, although in my case the implementation of the dress code was at a national level.

Here's what I've found while researching the topic of how I might continue to wear a kilt at work. Despite some suggestions by sympathetic readers that your rights are being violated (and I'm sympathetic too), employers seem to be afforded wide latitude in setting dress codes, even when the employees aren't in the public eye. Legal exceptions have been made by U. S. (and Canadian) courts for particular articles of clothing associated with long-established and well attended religions, as well as clothing associated with a reasonable accommodation for disabled employees. Apart from these exceptions, I haven't found any legal precedent where employees were able to enforce their choice of clothing against the employer's wishes . . . just the opposite seems to be the case. And I can't find anything that would support the contention that our civil rights include an ability to enforce our clothing choices while in the employ of another. Diversity, as others have hinted, is at the convenience of the employer.

My supervisor told me that my wearing kilts has been disruptive at the agency for the two years I've been doing it and that I just don't see the disruption and others have been afraid to tell me.

I have had some training regarding sexual harassment as a routine adjunct to my employment. If I understand your supervisor's innuendo, she's trying to invoke language normally associated with a sexual harassment allegation. I don't think an assertion of sexual harassment would stand legal scrutiny, and there's no special protection for people who are afraid to tell someone else their clothing is "disruptive." But your employer may still act to establish a dress code (or even apply individual direction) to remove what they perceive as a distraction. The threat of some type of legal action to allow a kilt probably has been effective for some people, but as best I can tell, carrying out that threat is most likely a waste of time.

In the past, I thought less of people who wore clothing that deviated well beyond the norm. I try to be much more tolerant of that behavior now that I choose to wear something outside the norm myself. But even before I contemplated wearing a kilt, I gave certain trend setters much greater latitude when it came to clothing. An actor or a celebrity of some sort could deviate a lot farther from the norm without evoking a negative judgment from me. These trend setters vary from group to group and for individuals, but I think society allows them to slowly modify standards. Nothing about this process is transparent or logical, but it is reflected in what the majority chooses to wear.

When I first started wearing a kilt, I tried on lots of different reasons for wearing one. Some of those were logical, like comfort, so it only seemed natural to try and press my case for wearing a kilt under a new dress code using logic. But I don't think our society makes clothing choices based on logic. As an entity, the faceless, nameless, transitive group that sets our clothing norms can't respond to rational thought, it only seeks to urge everyone into submitting to the norm. When we use logic to argue our case for wearing a kilt, we're ultimately arguing with a group that will respond by beating non-conformity into the ground (even literally).

You and I are part of that group, and while we might affect the norm in some really small way, we uncharacteristically resist the pressure to conform. But I think people who devise dress codes set out to knowingly conform, and worse yet, to conform to a narrow slice of normalcy they think is appropriate for their situation. Their decisions seem to be emotional, not logical. So even when you're dealing with one person, logic escapes them. I've given up trying to be logical about dress codes . . . I just don't believe people think about clothing that way: In truth, neither do I.

So if I come up with a way to wear a kilt despite a dress code, I suspect it will hinge on something that appeals to society's (and my employer's) emotions. As a counselor, you might have leg up on me for this one.

Abax

[BEEDEE]

My new supervisor put out an email directing how staff should dress for this event. It didn't say, 'no kilts,' but it did say 'slacks.' So I didn't panic and sat on it hoping for clarity. That came. My boss doesn't want me wearing a kilt to the function because she feels its "unprofessional."

It does not seem to phase her that our walls are full of signs proclaiming how the agency honors and respects cultural diversity. She keeps asking me, "Don't you care what other people think of you?" And she struggles with my answer.

So as I understand it, the edict is SLACKS FOR ALL? No exemption for women who might prefer to wear skirts! And the agency honors and respects cultural diversity (except if it applies to employees)!

Sadly it seems that your boss is the one who is "unprofessional".

In a town of 7,000 perhaps you know someone personally at the big employer that you are meeting with. A word in their ear to suggest that they ask your boss why you are not wearing a kilt might just take the wind from her sails. Especially if they comment on how much they value you as a person, regardless of what you wear.

Just my 2c worth.

Brian

Brian

[Graywolf]

Let us assess the situation. You would prefer to wear kilts. Your supervisor says, "No." and cannot offer a good reason. You have very few options. A lawsuit is out. You would lose - employers can determine their own dress codes. Recent court rulings have confirmed this. Your approach should be to volunteer to assist in development of the dress code and make sure it states that diversity in cultural dress should be leveraged. then you can use the company's stated policy aginst her.

[pdcorlis]

Ron, let me add my voice to the chorus - this really stinks. Since you're the mental health expert around here - I doubt we can add much you haven't already run through your head a couple of dozen times...

All I can add is, my heart goes out to you brother!