What am I doing wrong?

[Nick the DSM]

I would counter her argument, next time she wears a skirt.

that might make it worse...

[jordanjm]

The ideas I do like so far:

1. Practice!!! That is a great idea.
2. Wearing the Kilt in pictures (Esp. Holiday Pictures).
3. For peace, I am not acting like this episode ever happened, especially since I have not been told.
4. There has been some improvement: She thinks the kilt is appropriate for the Scottish Festivals....

[Alan H]

When it comes right down to it, it's HER house, and if she (with her husbands agreement) doesn't want kilts in the house, that's her business. So don't wear a kilt there. If that means not going there, then so be it. I would talk this over calmly and rationally with your wife, though. You're not terribly "responsible" to your MIL, but your wife is another story. You don't need to fall over yourself to do exactly what your wife wants on every single topic, but you DO need to treat her with respect and love and listen to what she has to say.

The rest of the time, wear a kilt if you want to. If your MIL is coming over to your house and objects to the kilt, I'd give her both barrels and not be shy about it....it's your house, you'll wear what you want, etc. etc. If all of you are going out somewhere NOT her house, wear what you want.

I am all for being reasonable and getting along with the relatives. I'm also entirely in favor of following the household rules when you're a visitor. I'm ALSO entirely in favor of standing up for yourself, loudly and firmly and repeatedly....though not RUDELY...when pushed.

[ardchoille]

On Sunday I went to visit my in-laws kilted (First time in months.) As a result today my Mother-in-law informed my wife that I am no longer welcome kilted. It all stems from how I sit. Apparently 2 members of my wife's family informed the mother that they could see up my kilt some indefinite amount.

When I sit down, I do two things:

1) sweep the pleats.
2) make sure the front is covered, by pulling it down in front.

I want to get this right, because it is causing me problems. I am not trying to flash anyone. Every time I sit I check to make sure that is not the case. I am also not picking up the material in front, and flashing as I pull it down. I am pulling down what is already in front.

Thanks for your help.

It sounds to me as if you're doing everything right. If it were me, I'd politely inform the mother-in-law that I am free to wear that which pleases me and if she wants my company, then she will need to accept me as I am.. otherwise she may never see me. And that any male child I produce (her grandchild) will also be encouraged to wear the kilt.

You could also politely ask if she would be open to you making "rules" about how she dresses when she is in your company.