Where does one draw a line?

[fluter]

I know it's not easy to take his comments, but maybe there's a way to get them to fall off your back quicker.

There is a way, and xena nailed it: you pray for him (assuming that prayer is part of your toolset).

Mind you, we didn't say it was going to be easy but I can get a lot of mileage out of "Deity help that some-and-so, he sure needs it."

[The Barry]

I think that this advise bears repeating:

[sathor]

My mother always told me " consider the source". The man sounds pitiful, homophobic, and jealous. And pity your poor sister, what a prize she has. What he needs is a sound thrashing with an organic leek.

My condolences on your situation.

It's my wife's sister. My sister married a Murphy and lives in Chicago. She thinks her husband has been to a DKM concert.

[bricelythgoe]

I am a little glad someone else is the same situation I am in. When I wear mine to my school, I always get the silly little comments from the students. However, I can handle those. However, I have several teachers that I work with and family members that laugh out loud when I wear my “man skirt” and “purse” with the little “bows and nylons”. I have just realized that there are some that are so insecure that they feel the need to make fun of others. I did get angry once and let it ruin my whole day (my wife was pretty mad for that). I just said to myself, “What do I care what he thinks?? I love wearing my kilt and I don’t care what anyone else thinks or says.” It really helped me. I figure, his loss. If he only knew how awesome it feels…..

[siva011]

Most of my mean hagglers are strangers. I could imagine it's easier to shrug off strangers than family. I know for a fact if it was my family, then ignoring wouldnt make it go away, ignoring would just show my submission. In their eyes by ignoring I'm afraid to stand up to them and then justify all their saying. I would be agreeing with them by not disagreeing with them, if that makes sense. A stranger would be easy to ignore because they'd be gone in a couple minutes. Family though..... I guess you would need to find what works with this guy personally.

I do get it a lot from my family, but they joke about the kilt in the same way they joke about my losing my hair early. They used to say I had wavy hair... waving goodbye. Or I'm not going bald I'm cultivating forehead. Now they make fun of me talking about a man purse and to pull my stockings up. But it doesnt bother me because I know this is what they do, they haggle. It's not mean or meant to be mean, it's their goofy way of affection. Although I have one anunt who is obsessed with trying to kilt check...

[mbhandy]

Although I have one aunt who is obsessed with trying to kilt check...

Let her she'll quite.

MrBill

[Phogfan86]

I've thought about this a lot, and I was reminded of the old adage that 10% of people are going to love everything you do, and 10% are going to hate everything you do, and the sensible ones are the 80% in the middle. Your brother-in-law (?) is one of the boneheaded 10%. Let him hoist himself with his own petard. The rest of your family gets it.

As for me, I'm the baby by 11 years -- surprise, Mom and Dad! I've always been weirder than the other three kids, and none of my family, parents included, really ever knew quite what to do with me. So, for the most part, they stood back and smiled and just watched it all happen, be it great triumph or absolute trainwreck. So for me and my family, me wearing kilts was just about right.

[beloitpiper]

Why worry about this guy? From what I infer from your story, everybody else in the family enjoys the kilt, so it sounds like the only person with the problem is you sister-in-law's husband. He's only making himself look worse in front of the family, and it seems like he doesn't show up to many events as it is, so I say keep wearing the kilt, brother-in-laws be damned!

[The Barry]

The last "man-skirt" comment I received from another guy was immediately followed by the girl on his are exclaiming "are you kidding, that's really hot!"

I think that I came out ahead on that one.

[Alan H]

I have a very, very long fuse. I mean, it's REALLY long. I can let 1,000 things roll off my back, and this guy would be one of them if I didn't have to see him very often. But about once every five-six-seven years, during really bad times, I do get to the end of this fuse.

If you don' t have to see him very often, then let it go.

If this is a regular thing and you have to see the jerk on a regular basis, and he's not taking hints or learning some manners, and if you ever get to the end of your fuse, just pop him in the face with your good balled up right fist, absolutely as hard as you possibly can, and let the chips fall where they may. Busting his nose isn't gonna kill him and it may be the only way to educate the jerk. Truth is, one or two guys I've had the misfortune to know will admit, openly that they never would have learned to act decently if someone hadn't taught them the hard way what an *** they were being.

I'm sure that many here will just be horrified that I suggested such a thing. They will consider that I'm no gentleman, etc. etc.... Tough. Don' t push me to the end of my fuse, then. And the same goes for you. Sathor. Don' t push Sathor to the end of his fuse.

I hope it doesn't come to that, but if it does, and you smack him, don't beat yourself up with guilt about it. You didn' t KILL the airhead.