Some years ago, American comedian Jeff Foxworthy developed a routine based on the phrase, "...you might be a redneck". For example, If your idea of a seven-course dinner is a six pack and a bag of Cheetos, you might be a redneck. Or, if your fishing tackle is worth more than your furniture, you might be a redneck.

I thought it might be fun to transpose the concept into our addiction to kilts. The objective here is non-offensive humor and entertainment, so please, refrain from controversial entries.

So, to get things rolling...

If you can spot a brumbee tartan at 100 yards with the naked eye... you might be a kilt addict.
If you have your kilt maker's phone number on speed dial...
If your car has 16-ounce worsted clan tartan seat covers...
If you can't go kilted, then you're not going...

Next?