Panache and the Great Hunt for the Acryli-Beast

**McClef** · 1st July 07, 01:46 AM

Originally Posted by The F-H.C.A.G.

House Elf, you mean? And doesn't that mean that Freelander Sporrano is Lucius Malfoy?

I do apologise, of course House Elf and I remember his name now - Dobbie.

I haven not seen Malfoyesque characterisation yet in the tale so I cannot comment on your conclusion re Freelander.

**McMurdo** · 1st July 07, 07:57 AM

Glad I'm not the only one who thought of Dobby when I read the latest installment. Again I look forward to the next installment.

**The Frumious B.** · 4th July 07, 01:54 PM

bump?

**Panache** · 5th July 07, 11:34 AM

Panache and the Great Hunt for the Acryli-Beast

A Victorian Tale of Horror told in Chapters

Chapter 5

Todd blinked and asked, “you want me to research some sort of an animal for you?” .

“Yes please”

“So this is a subject that has nothing to do with Military History?”

“Err…I’m afraid not”

“Perhaps you were interested in the heraldic aspects of this creature. If it has appeared in any form on a crest or coat of arms? I could use my connections with the Court of Lord Lyons to check on that.”

“No. Not as such. Sorry. The Acryli-beast is supposedly some sort of mythical creature of the North. Actually I just want to find out if it really exists, it’s habits, and exact location.”

He looked around the library and gestured to the rows and rows of neatly organized bookshelves. “I have over the years worked hard at making this the finest private collection on Military History and Heraldry in North America”

“It certainly is a very impressive collection” I answered in all sincerity.

“I have invested literally thousands of hours researching, acquiring, and cataloging all these books. I can tell you what General George Washington had for breakfast the day of the Battle of Brandywine, what color General Lee’s favorite monogrammed pocket square was, which famous British Admiral reportedly got most of his strategy from a yellow budgie named Sally Jo, and why the 657th Highlanders have a chartreuse salamander in an ecru tutu as part of their insignia.”

“That’s very impressive” I acknowledged.

“But you just want to know about some animal?”

“Yes please”

“Is this for some sort of scholarly pursuit? Are you perhaps writing a paper on this “Acryli-beast”?”

“Err, well not as such. Actually I want to find out about it so I can track it down and kill it”

“Personal grudge? Family feud? Did it cheat at cards? Steal your girl? Or perhaps you just woke up this morning with a bee in your bonnet to boldly go forth into nature and murder a few creatures and wanted to start alphabetically?” he queried in somewhat sarcastic tone.

“Err, well, I want to hunt it for it’s pelt to make a dress sporran” I acknowledged meekly.

“A sporran? Oh, well, that’s all right then.”

Todd stood and guiding me by the elbow took me to a particular bookcase towards the back of the library. ”Check the bottom shelf ,we might just have something“ he suggested and returned to his desk and papers. I regarded the eclectic group of works regarding various mythical creatures and removed them to one of the library’s sturdy oak tables for further study.

It took the better part of the afternoon to find a reference to the Acryli-beast. Frankly I had almost given up my search when I found a small pamphlet nestled between a rare copy of De Vermis Mysteriis and an ancient and disturbing tome written in Arabic.

This small pamphlet had been published privately by a professor of a small new England college in 1883. It concerned legends of the more obscure mythic creatures of North America. Just after a fascinating, though blood curdling account of the “Peremalfait” of the Bayou country, there was a short section regarding the very creature I sought. Of interest to me was this following passage:

…though those of that strange tribe who hunt at the top of the world dare not represent its image in their art and seldom can be persuaded to speak of them the reality of these terrifying animals is unmistakable. Their pelts are prized above all their material goods and items made of the soft and iridescent white fur are passed down from generation to generation. They are virtually never hunted anymore as the elders are wont to say that there are no more great hunters among their people. One ancient fellow did state that “He who travels to where the lights dance in the sky may find the beasts basking in their radiance. He will find them only in this light, but beware. Know as you hunt them, they hunt you!”

“The lights of the Aurora borealis” I mused to myself.

I walked to Todd’s desk and asked if he would be so kind to point me in the direction of all our resources concerning Zeppelins.

To be Continued…

**kiltedsawyer** · 7th July 07, 02:26 PM

Bravo, Bravo!
Please continue, most entertaining, well written, a roller coaster for the mind.
Respectfully,
David

**Tattoo Bradley** · 7th July 07, 03:08 PM

Wonderful. I hadn't really been following. But, I read up today. The thought of me doing ANYTHING on a dance floor is hilarious. You've now got my attention...

**Panache** · 11th July 07, 11:56 AM

Panache and the Great Hunt for the Acryli-Beast

A Victorian Tale of Horror told in Chapters

Chapter 6

There often comes a point in every narrative where the author must decide between the needs of the reader for full disclosure of certain key events in order to fully understand the story, and the writer’s desire to avoid the punitive repercussions for those very actions. This is the dilemma I found myself in as I needed to explain the circumstances in which the funds to build my zeppelin became available.

I was very fortunate in that the small oversight on the part of a former Herald of the League of Moderators has brought to light enough information that you the constant reader may ascertain certain facts that led to my acquisition of those funds. Those individuals who are unaware of the small breach of the tight security that normally surrounds the official business of the League of the Moderators may find this record with a diligent search of our great forum’s records.

http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/s...ad.php?t=28130

I can only be grateful that fate had seen fit to determine that the most stern and fearsome member of the League of Moderators pay a visit to our retired Herald in Florida and not myself! Incidentally those members of our great forum near the vicinity of Tampa Bay may now infer the cause of the earthquake that left Rob’s house a smoking crater. Though no seismic instrumentation was available, Mike felt that his smiting was at least a 6.5 on the Richter Scale. The KiltedCodeWarrior’s family report that with time he will recover and soon will be out of traction and moving on to crutches, but I digress.

The upshot is that I see very little is to be gained by a detailed explanation into the exact means wherein a very large sum of money became available for me to pursue my endeavor. Or exactly why most of the League the Moderators were under the mistaken impression that our delusional and decrepit butler Spasm had undergone a brain transplant.

My fellow Moderator David became an invaluable source of help in my undertaking with his amazing ability for deception. He explained to the other Moderators that the explosions required for excavating a huge hanger in the side of our mountain were the results of our smiting practice. Mike was very pleased at our progress and was happy to see we were working so hard on this valuable skill.

Regarding Spasm and the need to maintain the neccessary deception of his non-existant operation, David gave the butler an espresso machine. Such as used in Italian cafés to brew a potent and invigorating drink. Our addled retainer was encouraged him to drink at least 3 to 4 cups of the strong brew each morning. For my part, I presented him with a head bandage to wear (which I convinced him was a turban). Spasm’s behavior was pretty much the same as before, save that he was no longer slow and doddering but instead he was hyperactively fast and doddering. His daily walks dragging the conservatory’s plants around the Great Hall had become fast paced foot races of multiple laps. If the Olympics should ever add Aspidistra dragging among track and field events I’m sure he will prove a fair athlete despite his age. The rest of the League felt that any change was an improvement and moved on to other concerns.

Eventually I had to approach Todd about joining our cabal to assist David and I in the construction of the Zeppelin. I had fears that he might reveal our plans to the rest of the League of the Moderators. Luckily Todd had harbored a fondness for dirigibles since he was a young lad and readily agreed to help us. He was then swore to secrecy in our undertaking. With Todd's research and organizational help we were able to buy the materials and hire engineers and builders. David again proved invaluable. He revealed his secret and extensive underground monorail system with us. Utilizing it we were able to bring in the materials and staff secretly to the new hanger where construction began in earnest.

After several months of effort the three of us stood before the completed airship. Her fabric outer skin was dark blue and on either side of the Zeppelin was a great white “X”. I dubbed her the Saltire. She was fully equipped and provisioned. The only thing we needed now was a crew. David’s deviousness must have had some influence on me. For I knew just the place to procure one.

To Be Continued …