The official way

[Katia]

Although the OP "consented" to the assault, he has described it as "shocking" and "offensive" and, whether committed by either sex/gender would be technically illegal in both the UK and the US. Do we think it good for society that he did nothing? Should he have shouted loudly "Oi, what do you think you're doing?" Should he have gone over to the young lady and calmly given her a telling off (preferably in the presence of her friends)? The answer will obviously depend on the personality of the individual and opinions may differ on opposite sides of the Atlantic. What response will most promote mutual respect?

Alan

I assume it would have been "why don't you tell me." Or ending the conversation as there was nowhere fruitful for it to go; you're under no obligation to continue a conversation with a stranger just because they initiated one (I would have lost patience long before that point; I hate people who play guessing games. Just tell me the information you want me to know; if you make me play 20 questions I'm no longer interested in learning the answer. It's the verbal equivalent of the people who hand me something but want to play some sort of cute "keep away" game because they think it's funny. After about twice, I simply stop reaching for it).

I actually read his OP as not being that offended; the post used neither the word "offensive" nor "shocking." It was later posts, after more than one page in which other members showed disapproval of the whole event, where he used those words. The OP seemed to be merely recounting a story, which may not have been received in the manner he expected.

The kiltmaker you refer to is Howie Nicholsby and you are correct about his negative reaction to the whole episode. This was an advertisement for a clothing range, Punto Fa, S.L., trading as MANGO, is a Spanish clothing design and manufacturing company. Your statement that on every occasion you have worn a kilt in the USA at least one woman has behaved inappropriately reinforces what I said earlier in that people from outwith Scotland regard a man wearing a kilt as strange and almost a subject of ridicule thus permitting them to behave in this unacceptable way, a way in which they would never consider if the man was wearing what they consider “normal” clothing.
In Scotland a man wearing a kilt is accorded a degree of respect for the national symbolism it confers and, apart from the experience Jock Scot has related any such behaviour in Scotland is unusual in the extreme. There may also be cultural differences as Scottish women are generally less precocious than their transatlantic cousins and a polite enquiry is the most you are likely to hear.
As to the lowering of inhibitions fuelled by alcohol or other stimulants, this can happen anywhere but, as already said, this is no excuse for such behaviour.

This sounds like an issue of pressure from the photographer, not the woman in the photos with him (who may also have been uncomfortable with it). Presumably if it bothered him so much he could have said "let's not do a shot like that"-- except photographer or editor were probably insistent upon it.

[Chris Hills]

To say that it happens a lot on this side of the pond may have more to do with the company one keeps.

Funny thing... and then I am done responding to this thread. I have had this question asked three times in the last two wearings of a Kilt and my son had it asked the last time he wore it as well. All within the last month and... all four of these questions came from different women... wait for it... AT CHURCH!

So if that says something about the company I keep, I am nervous to wonder what would happen in a bar!!!

Happy fall to you all. chris

[Father Bill]

Funny thing... and then I am done responding to this thread. I have had this question asked three times in the last two wearings of a Kilt and my son had it asked the last time he wore it as well. All within the last month and... all four of these questions came from different women... wait for it... AT CHURCH!

So if that says something about the company I keep, I am nervous to wonder what would happen in a bar!!!

Happy fall to you all. chris

Well, I guess at church I DO wear my collar . . . .

[Tobus]

To say that it happens a lot on this side of the pond may have more to do with the company one keeps.

...

If you hang out in bars and wild party scenes, well yes, you will be cultivating a different crowd and there will be different behaviours. If you hang out with drunks, juveniles or juvenile people, you will get juvenile behaviour.

I agree. And not just the company one keeps, but the manner in which one dresses and carries oneself. I've only been asked the question once, and it was at a Renaissance festival by a woman coming from the beer vendor with a drink in hand. I fully expected such behaviour at that venue, and I noticed that she waited until my wife had stepped away before she approached me. But everywhere else I've been kilted, no one has made such comments.

Granted, I am usually dressed fairly traditionally and often my wife is with me. I've convinced myself that I'm not repugnant-looking (I could be sadly mistaken about that) or unapproachable, so I'm assuming that the lack of such lewd comments is just a matter of not being in the types of social situations where people behave in such a low-brow manner.

[kingandrew]

Its always a relief when I'm all geared up for "The Question" and instead the lady asks what tartan my kilt is... It does get tiring having to answer the same inane question over and over and over and over again. Sometimes, in frustration, I find put a wee bit more bite into my response than is called for.

I remember many years ago when I was in college, my then girlfriend worked with a researcher who walked with crutches. He also wore a pocket watch.

One day they were walking toward the elevator at closing time. She said to him "May I ask you a question?"

She said his face immediately showed great tension, but he said, "OK."

"Can you tell me about your watch?"

His worried face warmed into a broad smile and he spent about 10 minutes showing her the watch and telling her all about its workings, case, and where he got it.

Andrew