How to talk her into it?

[JSFMACLJR]

Let's look at this - manly. This is your one true love, to be honored, respected, loved, for better or worse - until death do you part. Correct? At what part of honor or respect or loved does - but I want to wear my kilt enter into this formula?

Additionally have you sat around for 20 or 30 years planning that special day when you will be ONCE walked down the aisle, your father on one arm your groom waiting longingly - in his tux - at the altar?

Most guys don't want to have anything to do with the planning or execution of his wedding - and everyone knows it. So why all of a sudden would a man want to be in on the minutia of planning a wedding - down to the clothing???

If the kilt is familial, historical, worn for honoring family heritage and done so regularly it is certainly different than when worn to be different, visible, flashy or for fun. If the OP wears his kilt for the first reason I believe his bride-to-be will soften her stance and permit the kilt. If it is the latter then no harm no foul.

Additionally (and finally) this is one reason why most pastors won't marry a couple unless they schedule pre-marital counselling. All the little unspoken, and sometimes spoken, wants, needs and desires can be explored prior to that special day to make sure no feelings become hurt approaching or after the wedding.

If this day wasn't so special or pre-planned to her she wouldn't care what he wears. The expression "be a man" has been lost on many of our culture. Many men no longer have the ability to get past their little feelings being hurt and sulk to a point where a day as special as their wedding can be potentially marred if little Johhny can't wear his favorite sneakers to the ball.

This is NOT the case of the OP, he already said that in the end what his fiance wants will be..... thank goodness. ith:

I really should take offence at your insinuations about my lack of respect and honour of womanhood, but I'll just let it slip by in the spirit of love and charity which should exist as we prepare to enter the Triduum.

Do whatever she tells you, if that makes you happy.

[Ozman1944]

Simply tell her, that as future Lord and Master of the Household, you are putting your foot down, and wearing the Kilt - and that's that! End of discussion!

Then.........RUN, MY FRIEND! RUN LIKE THE WIND! AS FAR AND AS FAST AS YOU CAN! DON'T EVER LOOK BACK! I suggest either running away to the Circus, maybe to Sea, or perhaps a tiny hand built shack in the wilderness somewhere. She'll never find you then.

[pastorsteve]

Simply tell her, that as future Lord and Master of the Household, you are putting your foot down, and wearing the Kilt - and that's that! End of discussion!

Then.........RUN, MY FRIEND! RUN LIKE THE WIND! AS FAR AND AS FAST AS YOU CAN! DON'T EVER LOOK BACK! I suggest either running away to the Circus, maybe to Sea, or perhaps a tiny hand built shack in the wilderness somewhere. She'll never find you then.

[timseh]

And don't forget to duck, because a heavy object will probably take flight headed in the direction of your head!

[Kerr the Walker]

I suggest either running away to the Circus, maybe to Sea, or perhaps a tiny hand built shack in the wilderness somewhere. She'll never find you then.

You clearly have never met my girlfriend. Circus, sea, wilderness....she's like the post office. I'd never stay hidden for long.

[ardchoille33]

Look at it this way. You won't have to pay for the jacket, shoes, or pants.

Think of the savings, not the outfit

[sathor]

You clearly have never met my girlfriend. Circus, sea, wilderness....she's like the post office. I'd never stay hidden for long.

I had an uncle that was a Carney. He was only a few generations from being a Gordon. But it was one of the things in life my parents forbade me to want to do with my life.

[O'Callaghan]

I have always clearly understood that the groom decides what the best man wears as well as himself. I didn't know there was any other way of doing it. I got married in an ordinary lounge suit, albeit a nice one bought especially for the occasion, and asked the best man and other guys in the wedding party to wear suits in approximately similar colours. Nobody got stressed over it.

This was a long time ago, and I had no interest in wearing a kilt at that point. I am not sure how that might have played out, but she has some Scottish heritage.

I'm sure my wife came with me to shop for a suit, but she would have done anyway, and likewise I went with her to shop for her dress. Possibly the latter is supposed to be bad luck, but that's just a silly superstition. Of course, she chose the bridesmaid's dresses, but I'm sure she consulted them, because they were her closest friends.

That's the way to do things. No 'bridezilla' syndrome. Of course, my wife decided many things that mere males simply can't be bothered with, and there are a lot of such details, but not how the men were going to dress, about which she simply wanted to be informed, probably so our suits didn't clash violently with her chosen colours.

I think for example, in a kilted wedding it would be reasonable to coordinate a tartan sett with the colour of the bridesmaid's dresses, for example. She did pick my tie , a striped one combining the colour of my suit with the colour of the bridesmaid's dresses, which I thought was a nice touch.

[Kiltedfirepiper]

when I got married, I told my wife " you can do this (planning of the wedding) however you want.....but I'm wearing a kilt"
luckly.....she just looked at me and said "ok"
we've watched some of those " bridezilla" shows before. and can't believe how some of these women are!
if my soon to be wife acted like that(like those bridezilla's)....well she wouldn't be my soon to be wife anymore!!( and I told my wife that too )

good luck, it sounds like she's comming around

KFP

[Graywolf]

A few comments:

1) The quote: "I haven't proposed yet, but she knows it's coming."
According to a poll taken years ago the average bride had chosen her husband about 6 weeks before the average husband had chosen his bride.

2) If you think she should concede to your wishes, then you should concede to hers first. That way there is no hypocrisy.

3) If you are dead set on the kilt, remember - no apparel is worth a lifetime of love of a good woman. ( I have been married almost 35 years - my parents 65 years - its the voice of some experience speaking)

4) COngrats and I hope it all works out.