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18th July 12, 12:04 PM
#1
You might be a kilt addict
Some years ago, American comedian Jeff Foxworthy developed a routine based on the phrase, "...you might be a redneck". For example, If your idea of a seven-course dinner is a six pack and a bag of Cheetos, you might be a redneck. Or, if your fishing tackle is worth more than your furniture, you might be a redneck.
I thought it might be fun to transpose the concept into our addiction to kilts. The objective here is non-offensive humor and entertainment, so please, refrain from controversial entries.
So, to get things rolling...
If you can spot a brumbee tartan at 100 yards with the naked eye... you might be a kilt addict.
If you have your kilt maker's phone number on speed dial...
If your car has 16-ounce worsted clan tartan seat covers...
If you can't go kilted, then you're not going...
Next?
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18th July 12, 12:38 PM
#2
Ill even bite and keep a little Foxworthy in my response.
You might be a redneck kilt addict if you set down your 16oz PBR grab the selvedge of your denim kilt and do your best Braveheart imitaion...... 
"Greater understanding properly leads to an increasing sense of responsibility, and not to arrogance."
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18th July 12, 02:19 PM
#3
... if you spend more effort finding excuses than anything else.
Rev'd Father Bill White: Mostly retired Parish Priest & former Elementary Headmaster. Lover of God, dogs, most people, joy, tradition, humour & clarity. Legion Padre, theologian, teacher, philosopher, linguist, encourager of hearts & souls & a firm believer in dignity, decency, & duty. A proud Canadian Sinclair with solid Welsh and other heritage.
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18th July 12, 02:27 PM
#4
With apologies to Jeff:
If you do the sweep before sitting down only to discover you're wearing jeans, you just might be a kilt addict.
You might also be one if your dogs ane named Dirk and Sporran.
" Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly." - Mae West -
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18th July 12, 02:39 PM
#5
If the waitresses and bartender at your local restaurant have ever asked "Where's your kilt tonight?"... You might be a kilt addict.
His Exalted Highness Duke Standard the Pertinacious of Chalmondley by St Peasoup
Member Order of the Dandelion
Per Electum - Non consanguinitam
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18th July 12, 03:53 PM
#6
If you have to call your girlfriend/wife/both to coordinate colors of your kilt or kilt hose not to clash with her dress.. you know you are a kilt addict....
"Greater understanding properly leads to an increasing sense of responsibility, and not to arrogance."
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18th July 12, 05:33 PM
#7
You might be a Kilt Addict If - Your wife/girlfriend catches you looking at a mini-kilted lady on the street and she does not worry because she knows you are actually trying to figure out what Tartan that is.
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27th July 12, 07:21 AM
#8
 Originally Posted by brewerpaul
If you have to call your girlfriend/wife/both to coordinate colors of your kilt or kilt hose not to clash with her dress.. you know you are a kilt addict....
Done that! Hahaha!
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27th July 12, 07:47 AM
#9
Originally Posted by brewerpaul
If you have to call your girlfriend/wife/both to coordinate colors of your kilt or kilt hose not to clash with her dress.. you know you are a kilt addict....
If you can get both your girlfriend and your wife to coordinate colors with you and each other you have got some serious kilt magic going on there my man.
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22nd July 12, 09:02 PM
#10
Originally Posted by David Thorpe
If you have your kilt maker's phone number on speed dial...
You might be a kilt addict if... your kilt maker has YOU on speed dial! 
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