To funny to pass up!

[JolyStNicholas]

I wasn't sure where to post this, but it had to be shared! #1


Default The Marine way to beat a ticket !!
Top This One For A Speeding Ticket


Two Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of Oceanside , San Diego , California .



One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing.


The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it suddenly turned off.



Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near this, it's home base location.



Back at the California Highway Patrol Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the US Marine Corps. Base Commander for shutting down his equipment.


The reply came back in true USMC style:



'Thank you for your letter.


You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.


Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location.


Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.


The pilot suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech.


Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.'


Semper Fi

[The Wizard of BC]

That is just too funny. More so because parts of it can be true.

Back in my later service days I used to test fly Apache Helicopters.
Outside Ft. Hood Texas is one of the most famous speed traps in the US. The little town makes almost all of its operating budget from tickets issued to service men on their way to and from the base.

After a while it got to be just too much when our Squadron Commanders wife was given a $125.00 ticket for 2 miles over the limit.

I was scheduled to do an early morning Maintenance test flight when the Commander showed up on the flight line and announced that he would be flying the gunners position on this flight and asked if I minded performing a check on the Apache Radar Jamming System.

See, the Jammer has a two position switch. One called Peace is its normal position and keeps the system in low power mode. The other position is called War and is usually blocked by a piece of safety wire.

So off we go to the Test Flight Area to do my checks. On the way home we flew real low. The normal height of flight for the Apache is just below tree top level. This morning, just as the sun was coming up we were heading right down the center median of the 4 lane highway that leads back to the airfield. Our wheels about six inches above the Texas Bluebonnet flowers interspersed in the grass.

We were doing about 170 knots or just under 200 miles an hour and were able to wave at the people on the road who were at eye level.

You guessed it. We came over the top of a long gradual hill and there is the towns' only patrol car sitting in one of its usual spots.

For weeks we had the gun camera footage of that flight playing on a TV in our Ready Room. There was Smokey Bear with his Ray Bans on, pointing that radar gun right at us, and his mouth hanging wide open in amazement. That was until he was obscured by the smoke filling the entire car as every electronic system fried itself.

I heard rumors that the town tried to send a bill to the US Army for 1 Radar system, 1 patrol car, and 1 replacement Officer.

[lethearen]

I heard rumors that the town tried to send a bill to the US Army for 1 Radar system, 1 patrol car, and 1 replacement Officer.

Was the officer out of warranty?

[jkane]

6th Air Cav? I was at Ft Hood in the early 80's.

[Steve Ashton]

I got to Ft. Hood in '86 and was there until Desert Storm.

My last unit was 6th Squadron 6th Cav.

[Bigkahuna]

Was the officer out of warranty?

Past his expiration date.

[CameronCat]

Heh!
Snopes says that tale has been around the Internet since 1999. Still funny, though.

A note and a story...
Steve's tale rings true: many missile and target acquisition systems use the same radar frequency bands as those used by police and civil radars: X, K and I think, Ku, so a powerful airborne jammer could certainly let all the smoke out of the patrol car's rig.
I recall during the VietNam era, many combat pilots found ways to mount
common traffic radar detectors into their cockpits to pick up homing signals from the SAMs fired by the bad guys. It took a while until the military began equipping combat aircraft with the "official" system.

But radar doesn't always work.
For many years, I have worked weekends as a safety marshal at sports car races. In the mid-80s, during practice for the IMSA GTP race at Lime Rock, we had a Connecticut state trooper pull up behind our station and join us at the rail. He asked if he could use his radar gun to clock the cars. We checked over the radio, and the tower was cool with the idea. He would be clocking them as far off as ~200 yds and as close as about 20 yards (directly in front of us)

He got the gun out of the trunk of his car and began shooting cars coming out of the last corner and followed them halfway down the front straight. I watched over the officer's shoulder and called in the speeds on the radio...140, 146, 148, etc. But after perhaps 3 or 4 laps, the trooper realized he couldn't get a reading on one particular car.

Brian Redman was driving a new BMW-March GTP car, so new that it wasn't yet in finished colors, just flat black primer with decals and numbers on. The officer kept trying but the gun wouldn't "see" the car and only reported single-digit numbers, even when the March went by alone and he had dead aim at it.

A few laps later he tried something different, crouching down low and shooting directly at the wheels as the car passed in front of us (90 deg shot). This finally worked and the read-out showed a decent speed, but only briefly. Naturally, the invisible car became an instant topic of chatter on both the radio net and the PA system.

After the session, we invited the trooper to join us at the end-of-the-day party (beer!, but not for him on duty). Our station crew and the trooper walked into the paddock and found the BMW team's transporter. When we explained they had a magic car (and the trooper with us to prove it!) the team was amazed.

Some of the car's crew discussed the new car with us and attributed the lack of radar profile to 1) the very low, wide shape and 2) the extreme laid-back angle of the side pod radiators. Additionally, the body was all fiberglass and the headlights were deeply recessed into the front fenders. In total, not much there to reflect the signal back to the gun.

By dumb luck, while we were chatting, Brian Redman happened to walk up to collect something from the trailer. He overheard the conversation and immediately remarked in his perfect British accent, "If that's true, I must have one of them for the street!" After we finished laughing, we invited him to the party for a beer as well.

Peace
JT

[bchunter]

A few years ago a buddy and I were out on SE Montana on a mule deer and antelope hunt, and one day we were in the flight path of a radar test range. Several planes of various size passed over us at very low altitudes and flying just above stall speed, one being a B52. All the planes were flat black/gray with no markings. My buddy had a new camera that used infrared to focus, or so he said, but his camera wouldn't focus on the planes at all, even though they were fairly close and moving very slowly.

[Bigkahuna]

Didn't you see Independence Day???? It's that Alien technology!!

[BrazHunter]

Would be even funnier if on the letter was written that his son got a D on a school test and his wife is cheating on him ... That's technology !
:-D