To funny to pass up!

**The Wizard of BC** · 16th April 10, 10:14 AM

That is just too funny. More so because parts of it can be true.

Back in my later service days I used to test fly Apache Helicopters.
Outside Ft. Hood Texas is one of the most famous speed traps in the US. The little town makes almost all of its operating budget from tickets issued to service men on their way to and from the base.

After a while it got to be just too much when our Squadron Commanders wife was given a $125.00 ticket for 2 miles over the limit.

I was scheduled to do an early morning Maintenance test flight when the Commander showed up on the flight line and announced that he would be flying the gunners position on this flight and asked if I minded performing a check on the Apache Radar Jamming System.

See, the Jammer has a two position switch. One called Peace is its normal position and keeps the system in low power mode. The other position is called War and is usually blocked by a piece of safety wire.

So off we go to the Test Flight Area to do my checks. On the way home we flew real low. The normal height of flight for the Apache is just below tree top level. This morning, just as the sun was coming up we were heading right down the center median of the 4 lane highway that leads back to the airfield. Our wheels about six inches above the Texas Bluebonnet flowers interspersed in the grass.

We were doing about 170 knots or just under 200 miles an hour and were able to wave at the people on the road who were at eye level.

You guessed it. We came over the top of a long gradual hill and there is the towns' only patrol car sitting in one of its usual spots.

For weeks we had the gun camera footage of that flight playing on a TV in our Ready Room. There was Smokey Bear with his Ray Bans on, pointing that radar gun right at us, and his mouth hanging wide open in amazement. That was until he was obscured by the smoke filling the entire car as every electronic system fried itself.

I heard rumors that the town tried to send a bill to the US Army for 1 Radar system, 1 patrol car, and 1 replacement Officer.